Okay....so I am trying this "new" thing called honesty. Don't get me wrong, I am not a liar.....normally. You can ask me almost anything at anytime and I will give you a full on, meet you eye to eye, as honest as I can possibly be answer. However, there are a couple of things that I find nearly impossible to be completely honest about, let alone look someone in the eye while trying. I am referring to my height, my weight and depending upon what I ate last night..... what I ate last night. That's right, my name is Lisa and I am a Diet Liar!
More about that in a minute, but in case you are just tuning in....yes the Celery Girl is back. You will now be hearing from me every Thursday as I am doing daily blog themes for the summer. Thursday is my health/wellness/diet/all about me day. I will put a link to this blog from my other blog so no matter which blog you read....you will be able to find this on Thursday's.
So back to me being a Diet Liar. It isn't pretty but I am. Even when I was at my smallest (which was pretty darn small), I was never a fan of telling others just how vertically challenged I was and as far as the number on the scales? Fugitaboutit! Then as time passed and I got old, tired and really lazy as far as the kitchen goes....what I ate after 8 p.m. became a secret I would take to the grave. Why all these secrets you ask? Because quite frankly.....except for the height thing which I really don't have any control over.....the other things don't exactly have me coming out looking like a pillar of strength and self control. I know....like the world can't see my ever widening behind and don't suspect that some sort of high calorie antics are going on before, during and after 8 p.m. Denial is a powerful emotion.
Among the colloquialisms that Dr. Phil McGraw likes to use, my favorite has to be: "We can't change what we don't acknowledge." Thanks to my long time love affair with denial on this matter, I really haven't acknowledge much until recently. Now in other aspects of my life, I have been doing some soul searching. Many chapters in my family life have been opening and closing over the last few months as well as some life changing events have occured. Real change was starting to happen in my children's lives as well as my own and I was starting to view life differently for the first time in a long time. One of these changes though was that due to months of fast food and junk food, even my "fat" jeans were too tight on me. This told me that if I were to step on the scales stripped down to my tattoos and even sucking in everything from my neck to my knees, I would likely weigh more than I had ever weighed in my life. The very thought had me avoiding scales like they were land mines.
Finally, one day recently as my fat jeans were cutting off my circulation, I decided that since I was already on a role with the whole change thing, perhaps it was time to get serious about my weight, my health and my back fat. It was time to stop making excuses about why I couldn't go to the gym and just go! I also decided that I needed to know just where I was at weight wise in order to know where I needed to be. Apparently I have a sadistic streak a mile wide, so not only did I go to the gym, but I also made myself accountable. Look at me being all grown up and honest! I marched in and had the whole analysis thing done including weight, measurements and percentage of body fat. Let's just say that no fast food or junk food is worth the way I felt as each number was worse than the last.
Now there was a time when those numbers and the whole experience would have put me into a tailspin that might have ended up with a bag of gummies, a carton of Cherry Garcia and a Lifetime movie. Instead though....I sucked it in, sucked it up and hit the elliptical. Yes, the whole experience truly sucked but it was a bit liberating too. There is nothing like having your highest weight ever, announced to you by the fit male personal trainer at the gym. It made me realize though that I never wanted to feel like this again. In fact, the next time I hit that scale, I want to own that sucker! Or at the very least....have lost a few pounds.
So here I am being honest. It was time and I am ready to make even more changes as the summer wears on. As for the scale....don't expect me to be divulging those numbers anytime soon however, I am pretty sure that the after 8 p.m. refrigerator raids are a thing of the past. I know the path will be slow and difficult at times but my goals are doable. Goal #1....breathing in my "fat" jeans! And who knows, maybe with all this new found honesty......the Diet Liar will be gone for good!