Grrrrrrr!

Let me just start this by saying Grrrrrrrrrr! Yep....you guessed it. I went to WW yesterday and found out that I had GAINED 1.2 lbs. At least I was in good company as most everyone there had gained too (including our leader). It didn't help knowing that though, as I was really hoping the numbers were going in a different direction. I had an inkling  though....as my clothes weren't fitting  as loose as normal.

This last week I actually did pretty good, so I am thinking my skills during this time period were not the culprit. Last Thursday I did not go because of a meeting....but I am fairly sure the scales would have been much more depressing than this weeks as the week before I was coming off of Valentines day. Chocolate was my double edged sword. It was wonderfully comforting and delicious going down......but coming off is a whole different ball game. So in reality.....I probably did lose this week...I just have nothing to compare it to from last week. And if you think about it....only a 1.2 lb gain after a chocolate mishap (notice I don't call it a binge) is not too bad.

Okay....so my control over the past is non-existent. It is the here and now that matters and I really do feel as if I am moving forward. In fact I am confident enough in this....that I am going to make some very bold goals. By next Thursday.....I will have worked out at least 4 days for at least 30 min. each time. I will have followed my points to the letter (trust me.....this is a HUGE one), and I will have lost at least 2 lbs. I have the tools and the skills.....all I have to do is put them into practice. It also helps that the chocolate filled holiday is behind me.....although another one does loom in my future and every time I walk into a grocery store....chocolate filled eggs taunt me.

Between now and Easter though....perhaps I will get on a roll and stay on one that will give me the desire to avoid those eggs altogether. The only thing between now and then is St. Patrick's Day and I am not a huge beer fan. However...I am a Shamrock Shake fan........so McDonald's will be avoided like the plague.

The working out has been awesome. I continue to see a difference in how I feel and how I sleep. Today we are doing circuit training which leaves you temporarily exhausted.....but is so much fun. I honestly think this is the favorite part of my workout...although if you catch me in a couple of hours I might be telling you something different.

I got my results back from my mole extractions and they are fine....so all seems to be going well right now. With spring knocking on winters door....soon it should be consistently warm enough to start going on long walks....(are you reading this Chris?) And this year.....on runs (are you reading this Melissa?) So with all of this....my goals are achievable. The only thing standing between me and success....is the not follow through Lisa......and hopefully....I have kicked her to the curb.

Well....it is time to be accountable....so I will catch you all later!

Much Ado About Everything

I know you are dying for an update. If not....then please....just feign interest. This week has actually been a fairly decent week. I have gotten to the gym a few times, have a workout program going, am eating better and have really cut down on the diet pop. I have also found a new favorite food and had some irregular moles removed (not that food and moles go together....but that was my train of thought.)

Becca (my workout buddy and co-worker) and I are hitting the gym at least four times per week and on a good week....maybe even five (if I make it in on Saturday). Again....many thanks to my oh so generous boss for allowing this. I have made up a workout routine based largely in part on the old routine that my ex-trainer Shelly made for me. We have two days where we do cardio and weights together, one day (2 if I come in on Sat.) of cardio only, and one day of circuit training. We also throw a little track walking in for good measure. I have to say that my favorite part of the workouts are my time on the elliptical trainer. I put in my headphones, crank up the music....and away I go. Before I know time is up and I feel great!

Although weight training has never been my favorite part of any workout...I have learned to appreciate the benefits. It actually helps you burn calories faster and longer by speeding up your metabolism. Also....a cardio workout alone can't give you the muscle and definition that the added weights can. And I am not talking about looking like this.(Lady to the side who obviously overdid it a bit.) I am talking about nice definition in your arms where you don't flap in the breeze on windy days and aren't afraid to get air born when you wear a sundress. Basically I am talking about shape...not mass.

Apparently while at the gym I do a lot of vacationing in Lisaland because in my minds eye....when I work out....I look like this (to the left). Not bad for someone who is ummm....errrr....ummm 28ish. Notice the tone and definition without looking overdone. I am looking fine!.....(in Lisaland).

I believe in the real word though....I look more like this (little chubby varmint to the right). Notice the short stubby arms, no legs and round fluffy body. Not much definition going on here. Yep....that's about right. Boy I joined Weight Watchers not a minute too soon!

Speaking of food...we were weren't we? Darn those voices in my head!!! At any rate....I have found a new favorite food. They are Honeycrisp Apples. I think they are a little more expensive than your run of the mill apple...but if you have just one splurge at the grocery store...these should be it. They are nice and crisp when you bite into them, but the flavor is sweet. They could cure even the toughest sweet tooth....and I should know! With WW now deeming most all fruits and veggies zero points.....these babies were quite the find and a wonderful addition to my daily food routine.

As I have said....the diet pop has really been limited. I still have a little more to finish up but I am doing it in major moderation and once it is gone....I really plan to be done (at least for a while). I have pretty much replaced the pop with iced tea and water, and the working out has caused my body to crave water more. I find myself going for the water before anything else. I can tell too that with the added water, my skin does not feel as dry. BONUS benefit

And of course....let us not leave out the mole excursion. I had several removed from my body Monday. Not sure if they actually looked like this one....but figured this like all the rest warranted a photo. One required stitches (and looked NOTHING like this photo) and I might add....they do not feel good when sweat gets into them, but I am vigilant and refuse to woos out over a little stinging sweat when it comes to my workout!

So tomorrow is the big day. I get to jump on one of those (to the left) and see if all of these changes are starting to make a difference. I am not saying that I have been perfect all week, but I have been so much better it is amazing. Bottom line though....I am no longer tired mid afternoon....I can already tell I am sleeping better, and I am starting to feel as if I have more energy.

I am not delusional and I don't live in Lisaland....I just vacation there....so I know that results will not be immediate and I didn't put this weight on overnight....so I won't take it off overnight. Hopefully though, the little perks such as feeling better and sleeping better will keep me motivated. If I slip though....I always have Becca...and I am pretty sure she can kick my little hamster looking butt!

One Step Closer

Well....today I was unsure which blog to post on. I have information that would go with one or the other...but since I haven't updated this one in about a week.....here we go.

I really am serious about my health and my habits. Especially since it appears that the only thing health wise that is wrong with me is my rear end is too wide (along with the rest of me) and let go.....my wideness can lead to everything from heart issues to cancer and bone issues to breathing issues. While I am no longer in my 20's....I am not ready for the rocking chair either...so it is time to kick some butt (mine to be precise!)

On my other blog....I have been writing about life changes and basically stepping out of my box. I have asked for ideas to do this and one that was given to me was to run in the Wichita River Run in June. I have my choice of either a 2 mi. or 5 mi. I am right now aiming for the 2 mi as my knees ain't what they used to be.....and never have been that great.

In order to accomplish this feat....working out and training are a must. Now when I get into the rhythm of working out...I feel great all over. But when I have fallen out of the rhythm.....getting started again really sucks. It takes a certain amount of motivation which I obviously don't have. One of the hardest parts for me is..... finding the time to work out. I KNOW.....if you want something bad enough you make time, but I just can't get up and do those 5 or 6 a.m. workouts anymore. After work there are always a million and one things going on and when I do get a half hour or so....I DON'T want to spend it at the gym. Excuses???? You bet they are and you and I both know that if I was truly dedicated....my hind quarters would be out of bed and at the gym at 5 a.m. Luckily.....it is no longer an issue for me.

Skipping ahead.....every afternoon about 2 p.m. I want to go to sleep. It takes everything in me to keep my eyes open and I usually feel like crap. The cold weather was not helping this at all. I was beginning to hate afternoons...so I talked to my boss. Now first of all....I LOVE my boss. He hired me knowing my situation with my little guy and he knew that there would be times I simply couldn't come to work. Whenever I have had to call in....he has never once made me feel bad for doing it or as if my job were in jeopardy. It is a small business with a small staff....and he treats us very well.


So the other day I brought up to my co-worker that I thought it would be cool to be able to use our lunch hour to go work out at the DRC (Derby Recreation Commission). She immediately jumped at the idea and went to the boss with it. On hearing about our idea....he did us one better. He has given us from 10-11 a.m. every day to go work out. He is all for having a healthy, non-tired, productive staff. We were both thrilled....and today was our first day.

My co-worker (Becca) had never worked out in a gym before so today we spent our time learning the ropes with a little eliptical, biking, and weight training thrown in. She loved it and I walked out feeling great. Maybe it was the nudge (gigantic kick in the seat of the pants) that I needed to get going again.

Now doing WW and working out....I am anxious to see what my scale numbers are going to look like come next Thursday. I wasn't able to go to the meeting yesterday as I had another appt. and as I have said....I DON'T weigh anywhere or anytime but at WW meetings...so if I can keep on track working out and keep chocolate out of my face, maybe I will have a nice surprise come Thursday.

Well...I am a long way from running a 2 mi. run.(thank goodness I have until June to prepare) but today I am one step closer than I was yesterday. Hopefully each day is going to hold new incentive to get up and get moving and if it doesn't.....I always have Becca to push me. Thank goodness for awesome co-workers and a GREAT boss!

Moving On

I am in the middle of day TWO without any diet pop. I am surrounded by it both at home and work....and yet not a delightful sip has passed my lips. Will this trend keep up....eh....who knows. I am sure that I will not go cold turkey and with the weekend upon us....it is a good bet that I will break down and enjoy a little of the dew, but for now, I am taking my little day and a half victory and running with it.

In other news, I got my mammogram results today and everything looked good. I still see the specialist on Monday, but at least now there is no excruciating waiting through the weekend. I was so relieved that I almost cried. Luckily....I was at work when the news came....and I make it a point to not cry in front of others.....so there you go!

So went to my WW meeting last night and I had gained the dreaded .6 lb back. How do I keep gaining and losing just .6 of a pound???? The down side is....hard as I tried not to, there was some stress eating going on last week. Upside....I didn't gain more than .6 of a pound. Again....I take my victories where I can.

The meeting was very interesting last night (perhaps because I paid attention). Low and behold.....the diet pop issue was talked about and during my lament about having no vices other than diet pop and it not being fair.....my good friend outed my non-soft drink drinking habits (yes...that one time a year I like to cut loose)! That's the last time I drink her liquor and play her cards at her house! I'll show her! Anyway....where was I? Oh yeah... I actually learned a few things at the meeting. Our leader really focused on hunger (real and imagined) and why food doesn't always keep us feeling full. One thing she brought up is the old saying we have all heard for years....Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Now I do usually eat breakfast. Sometimes it is cereal and sometimes it is yogurt, but that is usually the most I eat. Sue(our leader) suggested we eat things with protein such as eggs, cheese, peanut butter or meat. These things not only help to keep you full but also keep you going until your next meal. It made sense....at least to me....so this morning I had a poached egg with wheat toast and a tsp. full of peanut butter. The whole meal was 4 points out of my daily 29 and I actually have felt better and less hungry this morning. They suggested having a poached egg with a small piece of Canadian bacon and toast. The Canadian bacon sounds awesome and a nice change to the high fat pork bacon or sausage. So I believe I will be going to the store.

We also talked about learning to read yourself and knowing if you are really hungry or just bored, stressed, upset, or even thirsty. I find myself foraging for food when mid afternoon hits. Today I brought yogurt and oranges to get me through that time period. I also made an effort to plan out my food points today and really pay attention to what was going into my body instead of just estimating and guessing.

Tea has been my friend today and after it is gone....I am switching to water. I know that even though I drink a lot of tea and some water....I am not drinking enough. Especially this time a year. My lips are dry, my skin is dry and I get those annoying little dehydration headaches. Plus...I know from experience that drinking the right amount of water just makes you feel generally better.

Finally....last night I was just so tired of NOT doing anything in the way of working out that I made myself do the Dance 2 for Wii. I just love it and yes....especially if you are a beginner...like me.... you get quite a workout. I also purchased Zumba for Wii. Haven't broken that open yet, but I dearly loved the Zumba class I took last year and I have heard good things about this. My goal is to get 3-30 min. workouts in before next Thursday. We shall see.

All in all...it hasn't been a horrible week....even though my diet pop has been declared persona non grata. I have learned some helpful hints to direct me on the right track and I got off my tired keester and got my groove on...(and by the way....just so you know....I have no rhythm and my dance skills are non-existent). So I guess I really can't complain...but you know me....I probably will anyway as I keep moving on.

Oh Diet Mt. Dew.....I DO Love You!

Well it has been 3 days since my mammogram and still no word. I will admit that I am in a crappy mood. There are many reasons for this mood but mainly I hate coming face to face with the facts about my health and my own mortality. Yeah I know, none of us gets out alive, but some of us push our health to the limits.

In my younger, wilder days I will admit that I liked to drink a bit, and for about 30 minutes I smoked, but I never did drugs and once I realized that smelling like an ashtray was anything but sexy....I never touched another cigarette. Basically since the mid 90's, my drug of choice has been food but only since about 2003 has it been a vice. Probably though, my worst addiction is diet soda. Yes, we will call it an addiction because truthfully....it is. I literally crave it. Yes, I have heard the studies that it can cause cancer, and then the ones that say you would have to drink a case a day for it to do so. I have heard that it actually stimulates appetite rather than curb it, but today was the kicker. My mother in law called to tell me that my most favorite beverage has now been linked to heart attack and stroke. WHY?????????? Why did she have to call and tell me? Why couldn't she have kept that little tid bit to herself?????

Fine! I know that anything with as much artificial junk in it as diet pop cannot really be good for me, but come on.....I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or basically have fun of any kind, so can't you give me diet soda? Apparently the answer is.....only if I want to die of either cancer, a heart attack or a stroke. Where is the justice????

Logically, which I am not fond of logic, diet soda has many draw backs. It is as I stated above, loaded with artificial additives that apparently kill small lab rodents when they ingest 60 times their body weight. It is also expensive and I do tend to believe that it doesn't do much to deter the appetite when you see people order a double whopper, large fries and oh....lets not forget the diet soda. Even I am not so delusional as to think the zero calories in the diet pop are going to magically cancel out the 2000+ calories in the rest of the meal. Nor do I think after drinking the diet soda that I am no longer going to be hungry for the rest of the high calorie meal. But I LOVE diet soda. Most especially.....Diet Mt. Dew. It has been an ongoing love affair for many years and the few times that I have walked away from the Dew, it has always graciously taken me back when I realized the error of my ways. Now I am thinking that maybe this delicious Dew is just evil in disguise. Maybe it is time once again, to say goodbye to the Dew.

So here's the deal. I am not foolish enough to say I am going cold turkey because we all know that would be a lie. Starting tomorrow (my weigh in day) I am going to start tapering back. I will limit myself to only one a day and then every other day and so on until I run out at home. Then I will buy no more. I want to go for one full month without a diet pop of any kind and I want to see if I feel any different. They say the artificial sweetener can cause headaches, body pains, etc (but then again,...so does being over 40) so we shall see.

Regardless of the results, will I ever be diet soda free? Who knows but I do like tea and I drink a lot of water, so the tapering off while not fun, should not have me sitting on top of tall buildings aiming my sling shot at unsuspecting passerby's below. After all., the whole point of this year is to have a positive life style change and honestly diet soda is probably not one of the more healthy things I put in my body, so why not at least give the change a try?


Okay....so I have drank almost a whole 20 oz. diet Mt. Dew as I wrote this and I am really trying to feel guilty but it is just not there. I will however make tomorrow a starting point. I still feel crappy, I still don't know my mammogram results and I am still not happy about my mother in laws latest news flash, but I guess all this too shall pass.


So here's to more water, less soda and a healthier tomorrow. This is all a good thing....right?!

Go Packers! I hate Cancer! And thanks in advance for the prayers!

It is Super Bowl Sunday. My team (go Vikings!) did not make it this year so I am stuck rooting for the Packers.....as it would be unthinkable to even acknowledge the Steelers (in my head any way)....walking away with Super Bowl rings.

Yesterday was another ER day where we got there at 9:30 a.m. and didn't get to leave until almost 4 p.m. If it sounds like I am complaining.....I am really not. When we got there....I was really afraid we were dealing with a shunt malfunction (something I wouldn't wish on anyone), so they took us in immediately. There was already a waiting room full of what appeared to be REALLY sick people, but since a shunt malfunction can be life threatening, David was moved ahead of everyone. Luckily we found out that all looked good with the CT so apparently we were just dealing with seizures yet again. Unfortunately with the amount of sick and injured people in the ER and the trauma's that arrived while we were there, once in the back....we simply had to wait for a doctor.....and wait for blood work.....and wait for a CT scan....and wait for results. It all took a lot of time. Luckily....we were not admitted to the 5th floor this time and were free to head home and grab David some chicken nuggets on the way. I myself did not give into the temptation (even though it would have been quite easy as tired as I was). The rest of the day was pretty much a wash with me doing as little as possible.

I know by now you usually have heard about whether the scales were kind to me or not at my weigh in....but last week I had an appt. so I was not able to attend the meeting. I could easily have weighed in at home...especially when I did pretty good with my points all week, so I figured there would have been at least a little loss. But NO....I refused to do it. The only place I feel comfortable weighing is at the meetings....so I left the big reveal for my next meeting. Even without this weeks weigh in accountability....I have been extra vigilant on my points and avoided the stress eating....so hopefully I will have a nice surprise come Thursday. That is if I can keep the emotional eating to a minimum. Today is a struggle.

Why am I struggling today? No....not because I won't be seeing my glorious Vikings in the biggest football game of the year. Nor is it because my house if full of Super Bowl goodies just waiting to be devoured (because except for a WW chocolate ice cream bar) there is no junk food in the house currently. No....my emotional struggle has to do with tomorrow and the week to come.

Those that know me and know my family history.....know that cancer (the nasty little "C" word) runs rampant in my family. My mother was the youngest of 11 kids and of those 11, half have had some form of cancer. My mother however hit the cancer jackpot living with and eventually dying from 4 different kinds of primary cancers. The two most relevant cancers in the family are breast and colon which makes me have to be twice as vigilant as others my age. What does this mean? It means that instead of waiting until 50 to have my first colonoscopy and then having them every 5 years after that.....I have been having them since I was 40 and every other year since. And while most women start having mammograms at 40 and have them yearly, I started at 35 and have them twice a year followed up by a visit to the specialists. One time a year I have a diagnostic mammogram and one time a year a MRI mammogram complete with IV contrast. Believe me....I am not complaining because as my dr. explained to me.....with my family history....it may not be an if I get breast cancer....but a when.  My fears were eliminated some last year when I underwent genetic DNA testing to see if I carried the breast cancer gene. According to the test....I don't, but since not only did I have my mom, aunts, and now several cousins with breast cancer.....I also had an uncle with it, so I am still a prime candidate. Well....tomorrow is diagnostic mammogram day.

I hate the mammogram process. First of all....they are painful. There is nothing like having something the size of a grapefruit squeezed down to the size of a grape....just so you can take a picture of it. Second....it never fails...they always make me go sit down after the test and then call me back because the films either have a shadow on them or they didn't come out clear because I moved. Heck yes I moved. It ain't easy to hold your breath, get pinched by a vice grip and hold perfectly still all at the same time. Finally....apparently it takes a radiologist a full week to read the results and then fax them to my dr. so I get to sit and worry that possibly this time I didn't dodge the bullet. Every 6 months I go through this....and every six months I have at least a week where my heart stops every time I see a commercial for Cancer Centers of America or every time someone even mentions the "C" word.

Needless to say....I am stressed. After two days of David's seizures and then a mammogram tomorrow...I would "emotionally" love nothing more than a Hot Rod Burger with onion rings and a cheesecake for dessert. Luckily I am currently self aware enough to know that I am searching for comfort and that  food is not the comfort I need. The comfort I need is a good medical report. Or at the very least  a report that says......lucky for you....we caught it early! Thank God for monthly breast exams!

Back to realizations and how I and God agreed I would handle 2011. I simply have to let go and have faith. I can't change the fact that the Vikings didn't even come close to the Super Bowl....nor do I have control over the family history I have that just oozes with cancer. I can however be grateful that I am not writing this on the 5th floor of Wesley waiting for my son to come out of surgery. I can be glad that I can watch the Packers beat the Steelers on a decent size tv screen (the hospitals suck). I can stay pro-active and preventive in my health care and know that if something is found....it is found early and thus will be treatable. And most of all....I can eat a WW ice cream bar and enjoy the biggest football game of the year with the boys I love.....knowing the next time I weigh in I won't be cursing myself for Super Bowl over-indulgence. These are all good things.

Okay....I will be fine. I will ask for good thoughts and prayers as the nerves are still a bit shaky...but I do believe....that this time next week...all will be well. So I will end this by saying.....Go Packers! I hate Cancer! And thanks in advance for the prayers!