And the Crowd Goes Wild!

Drum role please (drum rolls in back ground).....1.5 lbs. GONE! (And the crowd goes wild!) Okay....maybe there is no drum or crowd for that matter....but the 1.5 lbs gone is REAL! That's right! Apparently all my working out paid off and over rode my Ghirardelli  indiscretion of a couple of nights ago! You cannot imagine how happy I am tonight!

Of course I did try to go into today with a positive attitude. I was positively NOT going to go to WW and weigh in. I just knew I had blown it and would have to live with the consequences of chocolate over indulgence. The thought of what that scale might say was almost more than I could deal with. I bucked up though.....and talked myself off the refusing to weigh in ledge and decided that not weighing would not change the numbers one way or another...but it might in fact actually set me up to fail further. So this morning, I decided to at least dress like I felt positive and I wore one of my really cute pairs of heels. Little fun fact here.....I am actually losing weight in my feet and my heels look cute again! Yay me!

I couldn't stay for the entire WW meeting tonight....which I am pretty sure the other attendees were much relieved about. Cause you just know had I stayed.....regardless of how much weight anyone else had lost.....I would had to have made it ALL about me....and my 1.5 lbs. Fortunately for all involved....I had cheesecakes to make. So I left the meeting and drove promptly to Subway (no time to cook tonight) and after getting the boys their favorites....I got a turkey on wheat, no cheese, lots of veggies and no sauce! Yay me again!

So the binge has passed and I am back on track again. Tomorrow is a new day, new week (for WW anyway) and a new month. I plan on sticking to my points like glue, writing down every morsel that passes my lips and working out until I pass out, puke, or die....or maybe....and this is probably more accurate.....until my one hour timer goes off! But you get my drift. Does anyone else hear the Rocky theme playing in the back ground............

And the Wagon Went Boom!

It is a funny thing. Before I even opened my eyes this morning.....I was blogging in my head again! I knew this meant that there would be more than one blog entry today. Truth be told....I started blogging in my head last night. Why? Because I fell off the WW points wagon with a gigantic thud. Okay...okay....I didn't so much fall off, it was more like....I jumped off....danced around....and then jumped off again!!! Why oh why do I do such things? Ummmm.....probably because I am human, and a pretty fallible one at that. Oh....and...I WAS HUNGRY!!!! Now we aren't talking just a little hungry....I could have eaten a lot more than I actually did, but I am pretty sure I went way over my daily points. I may even have exceeded my weekly points too. The bad thing is....tomorrow is weigh in day! I have no idea what possesses me sometimes.

I have continued the workouts...although after last nights little binge....all I did today was a quick 20 minute elliptical workout. Should have been more....but it wasn't. I have a new and unexpected situation occurring. What situation you ask? Knee pain! I know it is not arthritis or anything like that....as it has only happened since I have been upping the exercise game. I know it is workout related and probably because I don't stretch like I should before and after the working out. It is not like excruciating pain...it is just like a dull ache that is mostly at night and early morning. Actually....after I do a workout...they usually feel pretty good. Still....I don't want to cause myself injury or make it so that I can't work out....so I am trying to baby them a bit (thus the 20 minutes this morning)!

Yesterday evening...in the midst of gorging on Ghirardelli chocolate....one of Jillian Michaels quotes kept going through my head..."A bad day for your ego is a great day for your soul." I couldn't help but think that in my case it should have read...."A bad day for your ego is an even worse day for your waistline," cause I could feel mine expanding with every bite. And yes....yesterday was a bad ego day for me. You see....sometimes we envision ourselves one way (especially when we refuse to use a full length mirror) and then we see a picture of ourselves looking as we actually do. Often times the difference is both stark and depressing, thus went the ego...right out the window, as well as all illusions of how I actually look. Sigh! So what do I do? That's right....binge! Although...I really did think I was hungry!!!!

Part of my issue is....even as faithful as I have tried to be....I don't seem to be shedding pounds very quickly. Granted....by most peoples standards....my workouts are probably wimpy, but unlike a car...I can't go 0 to 60 in 2.2. I have to gradually work myself into the hard stuff or else I will wind up in traction. I have been increasing bit by bit.....but maybe it is time to really start nailing the workouts. Another Jillian quote comes to mind..... "Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!" While none of those three sounds like a viable choice...I do understand the sentiment behind the quote. I NEED to push myself harder! Oy!

There could also be an issue with my thyroid that is holding me back. I have hypothyroidism and am on medication. In fact I have been for years, but perhaps my dosage needs to be adjusted. Of course this would require me going to a dr....which I don't currently have. Mine moved on (coincidence? Probably not!) It would also cost me money that thanks to the Dept. of Ed...I don't currently have, but the fact that it might help me lose weight should override my reasons for not going. Perhaps I will see who is available at the Wichita Clinic and go get my thyroid checked.  I guess it couldn't hurt!

Okay....so I have stumbled.......or more accurately fallen on my face. I can stay down or I can pull myself up and move forward. I think the wise choice is to move forward. While March has not been a stellar weight loss month....it has been positive in the fact that I am working out regularly and I do in fact feel much better and sleep much better. I have also finally got it figured out how important it is to keep track of what I eat and not just assume I am counting my point correctly. I guess this falls in line with my final Jillian quote..."Why choose to fail when success is an option?" Good question!

Well tomorrow is weigh in day and I am sure I will reap what I sowed this week and this week I sowed a whole heck of a lot of Ghirardelli chocolate, so I am sure my numbers are going to shoot up like a bullet. The upside is....Friday starts a new WW week and a new month. Besides, April means spring and we all know....everything just works better in spring!

The One Pound Perspective

Another one bites the dust! Yep...another pound down. It is not fantastic....but I am one pound closer to my goal. In the big scheme of things, one pound really doesn't seem like much (especially when you have put a lot of work into losing it), but  put into perspective....a pound can be quite significant. Here is what a pound looks like: I have lost a newborn puppy!

I have lost a really big package of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups! I can't even imagine in my wildest dreams....eating this much chocolate and peanut butter at the same time. It makes my teeth hurt just to think about it.

 I have lost a one pound dumbbell! Which is what we work David out with to build up his little arm muscles. (Not like he needs it....his upper body strength is amazing!)

And finally....I have lost one of those HUGE one pound burgers that you  get at one of those fantastic places where they make the burgers homemade and oh so yummy. You know the ones, with the grilled onions, and cheese, and......oops! I'm drooling! Where was I? Oh yeah....I've lost a one pound burger! So when you look at the big picture....I guess losing only one pound isn't bad. And it is certainly better than gaining all those things!

I am a little perplexed though. I have really been good and I have worked out 6 days in a row this week. Since Sunday (when I started counting my calories burned) according to my new pedometer....I have burned about 1500 calories and walked a little over 12 miles. This does not include the elliptical workouts or the weights I have also done. So my perplexion (its a word if I say it is) comes from the fact that with all of that....I have only lost 1 pound. Hmmmm. I am thinking that maybe my thyroid meds need to be adjusted a bit...but believe me....I will take the 1 pound loss. Slow and steady wins the race....right?

I did go ahead and treat myself today. Not for the one pound loss....but for the effort I put in this week. I went and got the mani/pedi that has been beckoning me....even in my dreams. Seriously! I dreamed the other night that the horrendous shape of my hands and feet was a crime (which it should be if it isn't) and that I was being arrested. YIKES!

I decided that it was high time I remedied this situation or next I would be dreaming that  I got the death penalty for my cuticles. It could happen! I went to my favorite nail place (shout out to Hanna and her girls at Diva Nail Salon). The pedicure was so awesome that I almost fell asleep....and my favorite part is the nail art they do. While I may not feel 100% pretty....my feet and hands sure do!





You know...as time goes on....I am seeing more and more changes in myself and how I view things. For instance it has been over 2 weeks since my last diet pop. I just realized that today! I do still occasionally miss my dear sweet diet Dew, but I am surviving and  now a days.... I ALWAYS reach for water or tea and nothing more. I also notice that I am parking farther and farther away from my destination so that I have to walk more. Working out is becoming something I want to do instead of just need to do and I really look forward to my evening walks. And today....I had to go and return some pants at the mall. I got there about half an hour early, but instead of just sitting in the car and waiting for the store to open.....I went into the mall and walked until the store opened (me and a bunch of 70+ year olds). For those of you interested....it takes 7.3 minutes to start at Old Navy and walk the entire upper level of Towne East. One time around is 1973 steps. In 30 minutes you can walk the upper level just a little over 4 times and take about 7900 steps. Here is what my GPS pedometer recorded. I burned about 400 calories and I now know what styles are in, what is on sale and why I need to lose weight so I can fit in to all the really cute stuff! (Oh...and a lottery win would be nice too!)

I am also changing meal size and when I eat my meals. My evening meal which used to be my largest is often times more of a snack than an actual meal. I have found that WW has some new cheese sticks that are smoky cheese flavor. They are 1 point and I love having them for supper with grapes or apple slices and maybe a few Melba Toast Rounds to round the meal out (no pun intended). I have also become quite a fan of apples. Pink Lady and Honey Crisps are my favorite and between those and oranges....I am a happy camper. I need to develop the same love for veggies that I have for fruit. I also need to expand my palette and try some new varieties of both fruits and veggies. I tend to be quite a creature of habit.

Well...all in all, when you put everything into perspective, I am doing fine. I may not be losing the weight as quickly as I would like, but I am making some very important changes in my life both mentally and physically. I read just the other day, for every simple positive change you make health-wise, you add 2 years to your life. Hopefully I am on the path to increasing the years instead of the decreasing. I have much to do and I am going to need every second God gives me to get it all done.

Tomorrow I am taking the day off from exercise and probably Saturday too. The muscles and joints need a break, but Sunday I will get back at it. So to all of you I say....onward and upward....or in my case....let's make it downward please!

Cliffhangers and Introspection

Sometimes things are just funny. Today I was out running my errands when I ran into someone who I don't even have as a friend on fb and had no idea that she read my blog(s). She said...."Well?" I know I gave her a strange look, because I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. I said..."Ummm....well what?" She started laughing and said...."Well...did you lose any weight this week. You just sort of left us hanging on your blog?" I started laughing. I told her to read later today and she would find out. Apparently I left you all with a cliff hanger. Well lets fix this before anyone falls off the edge.

Did I lose weight this week? The answer is....no! I actually gained .2 lbs. I wasn't upset though because I knew the culprit. It was the sugar in the cheesecake the night before. Sugar often acts in my body just like salt does. It can cause me to retain water and swell. The minute I got up Thursday morning I could feel the swelling. My rings didn't fit and even while I was working out....my hands felt tight. I drank water....but it was too little too late. Thus that .2 gain. I knew though that I had been good all week points wise....just not enough exercise. This week there will be no cheesecake and I am going to workout a lot more. Unfortunately since this up coming week is spring break....we will not be having a WW meeting. I have decided to break my scale rule and weigh here at the house on Thursday. My scale is just right on track with the WW one so I should be good. I NEED to stay accountable and going two weeks without weighing is not accountable enough for me. So there you have it folks....no more cliff hanger.

You know...I found out something interesting about myself today. Well first.....I worked out hard yesterday and I knew I needed to go and at least do cardio today, but there was a part of me that was looking for excuses not to. I knew however, that not going was NOT an option. I am really starting to be serious about these much needed changes in my life and I want to see the scales start taking a dramatic nose dive. So I went. While I was there my mind started stressing. I could feel it. There I was with no real time constraints and my mind started rushing thinking of all that I should be doing, which immediately translated into....I have got to hurry. I need to make this workout as short as possible! I started feeling extremely stressed and anxious. Then all of a sudden, it was as if I finally got it! My kids have been on me forever about slowing down and not stressing over the weirdest things. When I get into these modes....then there is a trickle down that affects them directly....Z in particular. When my mind starts racing, I will start barking out orders...Did you feed the dogs? Did you talk to your teacher? Clean your bathroom! Check on David! Vacuum your room! This all looks overwhelming on paper....imagine how it feels to have all that coming at you at 15.

I never really paid attention to that feeling before.....until today. I had to stop myself and ask myself just exactly what was so important that I had to cut my workout short. And the answer was.....absolutely nothing! There was nothing in my day that had to be done or even really needed to be done. In fact, if I had wanted to just turn around and go home and do absolutely nothing the rest of the day.....except for changing David occasionally and making sure everyone ate.....I was good! The realization of what was fact and what was just nonsense my brain was taunting me with.....immediately calmed me down. I could literally feel myself relax and I did my entire workout without another anxious thought.

What did I learn from all of this? I am stressing myself out! I am doing this to me. Not the kids (well....they do sometimes) but I am the culprit of a good majority of my own stress. I am also stressing Z out which in turn causes him to stress me out further. It is a viscous cycle with a story in which I don't come out looking very good in the end. I would really like to be able to blame all of this on someone else...but the facts don't lie.

The realization of what I am doing to myself and those around me is quite eye-opening. I think I am  in need of some form of relaxation therapy or at the very least....some new coping skills. I'm thinking perhaps a good yoga class might help. You know.....I just can't help but wonder how I went from being someone who when I was younger never let anything bother me to the raging anxiety nazi I am today? I never used to stress about anything and I never stressed whether anybody else did anything either. Some might call that laid back....but the truth is I was just lazy. Now though, that I don't have the luxury of being laid back or lazy.....it as if my mind is in a constant state of overload. Who is this stressed out....anxiety ridden....basket case who has inhabited my body....and how can I get her to leave? How can I find a happy medium between the me of yesteryear and the me of today? Arrrrrgggghhhh!

I am thinking I will be looking into yoga!

Pretty Will Cost Ya

It is Thursday....and for all you avid readers of my blog, you know that can only mean one thing.....WEIGH-IN DAY! My expectations for this day? I am really not sure. I know that I have stayed within my points, but yesterdays points choices weren't stellar. Let us just say....there was cheesecake involved. Need I say more? Also, I haven't been able to work out as much as I would like to this past week. Twice I have had been called out of the gym because of David having seizures, but I have gotten in 2 or 3 full workouts. So heck...I don't know. I guess I will find out in a few hours.

Today I don't feel quite as mediocre as the other day, but probably just as shallow. I started thinking about the things that might make me feel pretty(er), and covering my endlessly sprouting gray hair came to mind. Actually, I have kept my hair colored consistently since around 1992, My current natural color is a mystery to us all, but I am thinking it is some fairly awful shade of gray. In the past almost two decades, I have been blond, brunette, dark brunette, bright red, auburn, chestnut, blond streaked, red streaked and an oldie but a goodie....Barney Butt Purple. (I thank Tim and John for that color and although there is a story there...I haven't fully processed the mental anguish that went along with that color yet. Perhaps that will be a story for the future). At any rate, my current color is a darker brunette, and one which the gray shows through quite brightly and quite often. Last night I took beauty into my own hands and decided instead of just the normal touch up...to do the all over color. In doing this, I seemed to forget two very important details. One...no matter how much I like the color, I do not now, nor will I ever look like the model on the box. Grrrrr. And two....my hair has been growing out for about two years now. I no longer have the amount of hair that only one box will cover. Mine takes two. Again....Grrrr. When I under took this process it was almost 9 p.m. last night and running out to the store was not an option....especially as my hair was already undergoing the transformation. So one box was going to have to do the job. I got the bad roots part and then covered the rest the best I could. The results were far from professional, but at least for now....there is no blinding gray!

And speaking of hair....as I said, mine has been in grow out mode for a couple of years. Why? Because my mother always used to say: Old women should not have long hair! Don't ask me why she felt this way but she did and I grew up with that little jewel of wisdom. So apparently  there is a  part of me that is rebelling. Or maybe somewhere in my psyche I think that if my hair is long....I am not old. Whatever the case....my hair is fairly long and probably in need of some professional care. Me taking the scissors to my bangs does not constitute professional anything. I am thinking that maybe when I hit one of my weight goals then a trim and color are definitely in order.

Something else that comes to mind that might make me feel a bit prettier is having my nails and feet done. It has been so long since I have had a mani/pedi and my hands and feet are literally screaming out for some love. I wore acrylic nails for so many years that I shied away from them (mostly because of cost) in the last few years. But currently my poor hands look like they belong to one of the crones in Grimms Fairy Tales. My cuticles are always a mess (yes...we know why) and I just refuse to paint them because without acrylics...the paint chips every time you sneeze. So I am stuck with these (picture to the right). Sexy huh? Not! Once my hands were one of my best features, but years of dishes, scrubbing, gardening, and tanning have made them anything but pretty. Maybe some nails would help.

Then there are the feet. I usually do my own toes, but then my feet miss out on the pampering and descaling that comes with a pedicure. Yeah....the toenails look okay from this angle (picture to the left), but the bottoms of those feet are scary. There are crevices on those heels that a small child could get lost in. And rough!!!!! It is going to take more than a pumice stone to cut through the calluses and find actual skin on my feet. And I wonder why I don't feel pretty?! Okay....so maybe a mani/pedi ALSO needs to be a treat for hitting a goal weight. It is becoming more and more obvious that my entire body is in desperate need of professional care....and quick.

I am thinking that I am at an age...where pretty is gonna cost me big time. But if I work it in small increments, then maybe I won't break the bank. Or at least I won't break it all at once.It is glaringly obvious though, something must be done. Did I say I didn't feel quite as mediocre today? Hmph! I think I am now starting to understand the look on my last customers face. 

Pretty....Or Pretty Shallow

As I was getting ready this morning...I realized that I really didn't feel pretty anymore.  In fact...upon thinking about it, it came to me that I haven't really felt pretty since Tim died. I mean I have felt adequate, mediocre, and from time to time maybe a little attractive, but I have not felt honest to goodness pretty since the morning Tim left this earth. But he did not go before telling me that I looked beautiful. He always told me I looked beautiful. He told me I looked beautiful when I was in full dress ready to go out (which wasn't all that often) right down to when I crawled out of bed; hair uncombed and teeth unbrushed. The thing was, he really thought I was beautiful and even more importantly (to me anyway) was when I looked in his eyes....I honestly saw how beautiful he thought I was. Seeing yourself through someone elses eyes is amazing. I guess that is part of that whole "love" thing.

Since then though, I just don't feel pretty. And of course there are times when I don't even feel mediocre, such as when my gray roots are showing, my hang nails are sore and bleeding (yes, I have been known to bite my cuticles....don't judge me), or when I have not had the opportunity to put on even eyeliner. Those days make me avoid mirrors altogether. The rest though, well as I said.....I just don't feel pretty!  I WANT to feel pretty again!!! Sadly this sounds like I get my self esteem from others....and maybe there is a grain of truth in that, but mostly I think it is that I miss having someone around who tells me I am beautiful.....and actually means it.

The funny thing is, that through out my dating life BT (before Tim) I dated a few guys and several seriously. However I don't ever remember any of them telling me I was beautiful. I just kind of assumed they liked the way I looked....or they wouldn't have been with me. But unless my mind is all but gone....I really don't think any of them ever told me "I think you are beautiful.". Hmmmm. I know...I know! I am sounding more narcissistic than usual (if that is possible) but I really don't mean to. I just want to feel pretty again!

At my age, the opportunities to feel pretty are dwindling. Between crows feet, laugh lines, gray hair and body parts drifting south at an alarming rate.....the mirror can only lie so much. Denial no longer appears to be my friend either. So I guess it is time to face it. I will never look like I did when I was 20ish again...and honestly I don't think I would want to. No really....honestly I don't! What I am looking for is to look like me....only a version of me that makes me feel pretty.

I have to say that when I finish a workout....I wouldn't say that I exactly feel pretty (after all....sweat is not really sexy) but I do feel good. Maybe empowered! But that is not pretty. Perhaps though it is a step to pretty. Some would say that maybe the reason I don't feel pretty on the outside is because I am not all that pretty on the inside. Well I say....SHUT UP! I know looks aren't everything. In fact in most cases....they aren't much. But still....I can't help it....I want to feel pretty!

I don't know about anyone else...but I am sensing a theme here that might possibly be developing into just the tiniest  of  obsessions about this. Maybe it is because I just feel meh today. Even putting on heels didn't help....and they are some rockin' heels if I do say so myself. I am thinking however, that I do know what the problem here is. The problem is....I WANT TO FEEL PRETTY! Yeah....I am just that shallow!

Weighing In and the Meatball Sub

Okay....it has been awhile since I had a three blog day.....but I just had to finish this day out with this one. Well....I went to WW today. It has been a week of NOT strict dieting....after all I had ice cream several times....but a week of very strict writing down everything I ate. Not a morel has passed my lips that didn't make it into my journal. I have also stayed right on target with my  points all week and worked out four times since my last weigh in. Believe me....there were a couple of days where that was a struggle...but I did it anyway.

All day today I was nervous. Not really nervous in the fact that I thought the scales were going to have jumped up several pounds...but nervous that I might have only lost .4 pounds or even stayed the same. Even though WW has given almost all fruit a 0 points value....I am still a little unsure about it.....especially when I ate it by the bushel full this week. I really figured if the scale stayed the same or was only moving in small increments....that it had to be my new love affair with fruit. In fact....I ate so much fruit (oranges in particular) that they were making fun of me at work.  Also....shoving that much fruit into a body that has not had a lot of fruit in a while.....let's just say it does less than pleasant things to the colon....but I won't go into details on this. Once I found out that fruit could be consumed and not affect your points....it became my new best friend.

In preparation for today's weigh in......I wanted to eat nothing beforehand.....but after working out, my body needed something. So I was smart enough to bring along some WW yogurt (the best yogurt I have ever eaten might I add!) Since yesterday was Ash Wednesday....I hadn't eaten since 6 p.m. last night and by 11 a.m. today....I was a little light headed.....especially after having worked out. I also had my trusty glass of tea with me....but I went easy on it after drinking my liter of water after working out.

What I guess I am getting at is...by the time I weighed in....I was both dehydrated and my body was in full on starvation mode....but boy was worth it! Today I lost 2 pounds!!!!!!!!! In the big scheme of my rear end....2 pounds does not sound like much....and I am sure looks like even less, BUT I am ecstatic! It is the first significant loss in quite awhile. Of course at the meeting I practically inhaled two WW bars and guzzled my tea like I had been walking through the Sahara....but the point is....I LOST!!!!

Now here is where the story gets a little amusing. Before the meeting I had told the boys that I would bring home Subway for dinner. Now there are several good choices that can be made there. The question is.....did I choose them? Ummmmm.....of course not! Duh! I went  for the foot long meatball marinara.....WITH CHEESE! The only thing remotely good about my choice was that I got wheat bread and Baked Lays. Other than that.....the choice was BBBBAAAAAAADDDDDDD!

So I came home and had cheesecakes to bake. I took a bite and worked on the cheesecakes. A few minutes later....took another bite and then back to the cheesecake. By the time I was done with the cheesecakes....I had only eaten about 1/2 of a 6" sandwich. That and I had munched maybe three chips. The weird thing was....I was stuffed! Eating that slowly had apparently caused me to feel full without gorging on the whole sandwich. (BTW....I really did not plan on eating the whole 12" sandwich tonight....I was planning on saving half for lunch on Sat. Really!!!!). However.....as I was feeling so full...it made me think about my Subway choice and how just a couple of choices like that could unravel the positive move forward I had just made. So rather than saving it....I gave the rest to the kids (David in particular is a meatball fiend).

After all was said and done....I sat down and  went over today's points. My morning yogurt was 2. The two WW bars I had at the meeting totaled 5....which equaled 7.  That left me with 22 points to finish off my day. When the rest of the sub was safely tucked away in Davids tummy.....I looked up the points. If I had eaten the whole 12" meatball sub....it would have been 30 points. That would have been 1 point over my regular entire daily allowance. WOW! The 6" would have stayed within my points at 15. But I figured what I ate was actually about 10 with the added 2 for the chips. That was a total of 12 leaving me with 10....still left over. Yay me!

I am so glad I had the revelation that bad choices have bad consequences.....a fact I have been trying to teach my children for years. Had I eaten the entire thing....which could have happened had I just allowed myself to sit down and snarf.....I think I would have been very disappointed in myself and it might truly have put a damper on next weeks progress.

I know to most of you my revelation tonight and my two points probably don't mean a lot....but to me.....they mean I am just that much closer to the person I want to be....instead of just staying the person I am!

It's Fat Tuesday and a Shout Out to DeAnna and Shelly

Okay....so I haven't blogged like I should this week....but wonder of wonders....I HAVE been accountable to me. Since Friday if I bit it...I writ it! The grammar stinks...but you get the gist. I have not gone over my points one day and I have eaten a lot of fruits and veggies (0 points) to fill in any hunger voids. If for some reason I step on the scales Thursday and there isn't the loss I am looking for....I will know that the culprit is all the fruit I have eaten....so we shall see. At least I know what I have been putting in my body is good for me.

I have also been drinking tremendous amounts of water (especially when I work out) and my drink of choice now is just plain ol' tea! I drink tea by the pitcher full. And because I do this....I am sure any day now....the government will  give us a new warning that tea causes both cancer and heart disease, will give you hangnails, make your hair fall out and give you boils on your butt! Cause you all know....that is just how I roll! If I love something....you can better bet it is bad for you!

The upside to my beverage choices is...I have really cut down on my diet pop consumption. I have gone from drinking several a day to drinking one maybe every other day. I have brought no more into the house and I am good about staying away from it at work(for the most part)....until today! Today is Fat Tuesday....and tomorrow begins Lent. I am thinking what better thing to give up for Lent....than my first love....diet pop? In Lisaland...it is the epitome of sacrifice.  But today I do not sacrifice.....I drink!!!!! Which is funny. I have had a Diet Mt. Dew sitting on my desk for well over half an hour and have only taken a couple of sips. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME???? I only have hours left to indulge...and here I am sipping. Go figure!

Along with the counting every point....I have also been working out regularly. I have a schedule where some days I do cardio and weights (each time different workouts), some days cardio alone.....and then of course the circuit training on Fridays. On days I can't make it to the gym I do my Wii Zumba at home. I do try to leave Sat. and Sunday free as my body is old and it does require repair time, but the rest of the week.....I am trying to workout hard. This is where I would also like to give a shout out to my two former trainers....DeAnna and Shelly. DeAnna was several years ago and she worked with me at the MRC. She was wonderfully patient....but boy did she make me sweat. She got me back into working out after many years of not and she made me kind of like it again. I will always be grateful to her for this. Then there is Shelly who trained me at the DRC. I loved Shelly and she was tough on me. She made me work very hard and would even text me to make sure I was doing what I was suppose to. She was awesome. Because of these two....I am back at it and I am still working out to variations of the programs they each gave me. If not for them....I would not have the skill set or the motivation to be doing this on my own. As a little side note....do your think there is any correlation between them training me and then both of them quitting personal training right after they trained me?  Naaaahhhh...I didn't think there was either.

Okay....so I am really putting in effort this week and aside from my Diet Mt. Dew (which actually has no calories) I don't plan on celebrating Fat Tuesday any further. I do however plan on finishing out the next two days as well as I have done the rest of the week with both food and working out and I am really anxious to see what my numbers are come Thursday. I am hoping when I finally hit my stride and the numbers start dropping.....that I can take it all the way to the finish line. Oh and.......feel free to cheer me on in the comments section below! ;)

Accountability......Again!

ONE POUND!!!! It's not much....but it is incentive!!!! I was really excited when I got on those scales yesterday. Granted....I would like to have seen more....but did I really deserve more? I am not sure, but I am sure that I want to see at least another pound loss next week. I WANT to do this! I want to feel comfortable in my skin, happy, and most importantly.....healthy!

The workouts continue and each day gets a little easier. I have set myself up with a workout plan which does not really allow me to get bored and also keeps me fairly motivated. It is also a stepping stone in preparation for beginning to run again. It has been so many years...and quite honestly.....it is a pretty big challenge for me. I plan on starting the training March 21st and will train until the race....which is  the first weekend in June. For two miles....that should be more than enough time and training.

Going back to incentive.....all it took was one pound and I am motivated. Of course even the best intentioned motivation can wain in the presence of  a Hot Rod Burger or Russell Stover's raspberry filled chocolate eggs. So how do I counter act the evil power of the HR Burger???? Accountability! Yes....I know that word has crossed my lips (or in this case.....my keyboard) many times before. However.....being truly accountable.....means that if I eat that HR Burger with a couple of RS eggs for dessert....then  those that I am accountable to....will know about my little bing...uh...errr...food mishap! Since being accountable to myself has proven time and time again to fail.....I guess I will have to be accountable to this blog and all who read it! Yes...that's right!!!! All two of you!!!

WW also stresses accountability with cute little slogans like If you bite it....write it! meaning if food passes your lips...write it down. I will admit....I am so horrible about this and because of my inability to write it when I bite it....I am sure points are slipping in that I am not accounting for. So maybe for this week....my blog needs to be my food journal. Also....keeping a journal of my working out will also help me to keep on track there too. It is so easy to miss a workout and then another and another....until the working out becomes a thing of the past. So again.....here I go with the accountability.

So lets see how I have done today:

Working Out: Today Becca (my workout buddy) couldn't go so I did circuit training solo. For anyone interested....this is what Fridays (my circuit training days) look like.

Kickboxing front, side and back on each leg. Between each set.....I walk the track a lap.
Then I move on to the Bosu ball. For those not familar with gym speak....a bosu ball is a half ball on flat surface. It is challenging to work out with one as it is all about the balance....and I have none. Anyway...I do bosu pushups 3 sets of 12
walk a lap
leg squats on bosu ball 2 sets of 10
walk lap
shoulder press with  5 lb. dumb bells(5db) on bosu ball
walk lap
Bicep curls on bosu ball (5db) on bosu ball 3 sets of 12
walk lap
Bent over row (5db) on bosu ball 3 sets of 12
walk lap
Bent over tricep kickbacks (5 db) on bosu ball 2 sets of 12
walk lap
Squats (no bosu) w/5db 3 sets of 15
walk lap
Crunches on bosu 3 sets of 20
walk lap

I really love this workout as it is never boring and I always feel energized after wards. As my balance and workout skills improve....I will kick the workout up a notch. I do live for my Friday circuit training.

Now onto the biting and writing.
I did a major "no-no!" and did not eat breakfast. I NEED to eat breakfast! Oh well!


For lunch I treated myself to a Dillons salad from their salad bar.
The salad and fruit were 0 points
cucumbers in oil 1 point
1 Tbsp. cottage cheese 1 point
3 croutons crushed up and 1 Tbsp. dried cranberries 2 points
2 T. ranch dressing 4 points
Iced tea 0 points
                                             Total: 8 points


                                             Snack: WW cinnamon bar 3 points
                                             Total: 11 points


I'm back!!!!!!! Here is dinner:
                                 1 serving rotisserie chicken  8 pts.
                                 1 sm. baked potato             3 pts.
                                 1 wedge laughing cow         1 pts.
                                 lettuce salad                        0 pts.
                                 Red pepper dressing           2 pts.
                                1 orange                             0 pts
                                 Total                                 25 pts


                                      

I still have 4 points to go. I will come back later and fill in the food count for the rest of the day.

So here you have it folks. I am trying to make the scales go down and my health benefits go up. If anyone has any workout ideas they would like to share (all two of you).....please feel free to do so.

This is me being accountable. At least for today. Catch me next Wed....and we will see just how accountable I really am!

Work in Progress

Well...tomorrow is the big day. I have actually done well. Honestly....I still have issues with writing down absolutely everything that goes in my mouth, but I do know what I should be eating....and I am keeping the sweets to the bare minimum.All in all....I have had a pretty successful eating week.

My working out has been pretty good too. Today is the only day I have wussed out and that was because I had the headache from hell. I woke up with it after getting very little sleep last night. Since I did have to go ahead and work all day....I figured it was probably better to go a day without working out...rather than cause myself a migraine.

I tried a new workout Tuesday. It was the Zumba for Wii! Now I have taken a Zumba class before and found it both fun and challenging....but not so challenging that I couldn't do it. The Zumba for Wii though is a little different. You can set it to "class" or I think "party" to workout. I started on "class" for beginners which is 20 min. long. It was quite the workout and more challenging I think because the instructor is an imaginary figure on a screen who doesn't really have the capacity to explain the moves before they are shown. I  found though that after starting and stopping the program a couple of times...I was able to catch on fairly quickly. I really like it  so far.

Zumba itself is such a fun workout as it is fairly fast paced with a lot of high energy movement. The music is great and when you get the moves down.....you might even find yourself feeling a bit....dare I say....sexy???? Of course few of us will ever be Shakira sexy....nor will we have her skill with earth shattering hip shakes, but in Lisaland....I can always pretend.

I do feel this week as if my clothes are fitting a bit looser and my body just in general feels better. I have really cut down on diet pop....except for today. When my head aches....I am a real baby (internally anyway). I want comfort and today.....a diet cherry vanilla Sprite sounded like comfort to me. I have also convinced myself that the cherry and vanilla (although loaded with sugar) are easily counteracted by the "diet"  in the soda. So I felt no guilt today as I nursed my headache with this (guilty) pleasure. Oh....and the headache did subside.

Tomorrow is back to the gym and then WW. Hopefully this time I will see the numbers going south instead of the other way in which my pants don't fit and my chin starts to expand. Whatever the numbers say....I refuse to give up.....for I remain a work in progress.