Water

Day 3

In this modern world of technology and new fangled this and that....the one thing that doctors, scientists and nutritionists all seem to agree on is......the healthiest thing you can do for your body is to drink water! Another example of simplest is the best? Quite likely!

Whether you like your water straight from the tap, bottled, flavored or carbonated.....the fact is that this zero calorie beverage with no fat or additives is one of the best things we can do for our health and our bodies. Sadly there are a lot of people who obviously didn't get the memo and don't even manage 8oz. of the stuff in the course of 24 hours.

When I was a kid, at breakfast you drank juice....lunch and supper was milk and anything in between was water. That being said....I think we were a pretty dehydrated nation as other than a quick drink from the water fountain after recess or a guzzle from the garden hose when you were playing outside, we really didn't drink a lot. We were likely healthier by far because we weren't technology obsessed couch potatoes, but many of our habits were far from body positive. As a kid at Girl Scout camp, I remember getting heat stroke because we were outside in 102 degree temps for five days with only an old water pump to grab a quick drink from. Our leaders were apparently not well versed on the need for hydration in kids or the damage that dehydration could do. It was the sickest I had ever been.

Now a days we know the importance of water in our bodies and the positive effects it brings about. It hydrates our hair and skin, flushes waste from our cells and is extremely helpful in weight loss. No longer is it expected that a 10 second drink from a water fountain is substantial for hydration. Even elementary kids are allowed to bring water bottles to school and drink as needed.

In my younger days, water was something I imbibed only with a pill or if I was REALLY thirsty and nothing else was available. The rest of the time....carbonated beverages were my friend. While I was thin and looked healthy....I am sure my cells told a different story. They were probably shriveled up and begging for some good old H2O. It wasn't until I was older that I began to learn the benefits of water. It was actually some friends kids that got me to thinking about and drinking water. Whenever they would come to eat at our house, regardless of what kind of soda or other drinks might be available to them.....they always chose water. For some reason this really hit me and I decided that might be a really healthy way to go. It was then that I did my little 2 week experiment. I drank nothing but water for 2 weeks and made myself drink at least 64oz. a day. At first it seemed like over kill and the side effect that I spent a lot of time running to the bathroom to pee didn't really seem like a positive. By the end of the two weeks though....I wasn't peeing as much because my body was adjusting and I found myself craving water above other drinks. I also just felt better all the way around. Likely it was my body not having to deal with all the artificial junk that had been in my previous beverages. Since that time.....water has been my friend. 

In truth...I don't always drink like I should.....but I do manage to get down at least 32 oz per day even on my worst days. I genuinely feel better when I drink water and the best part about water.....it is much cheaper (even if you buy bottled) than just about anything else you can drink. 

Here is what I know about water:
If you start drinking 64oz of water for one week.....you will lose weight. Granted it maybe water weight.....but it is a start.

Water has no taste and yet it is the most thirst quenching beverage out there.

Drinking water daily can improve your skin and your hair.

If you work or play in the sun and heat......hydration is imperative and water is the only true way to hydrate. Other beverages can actually cause you to dehydrate even more.

Drinking substantial water is a necessity in any kind of weight loss program and definitely in any workout program.

If you love massages.....it is very important to drink and rehydrate after a massage.

I know there are many other benefits to drinking this simple yet imperative elixir of life, but these are the ones I know first hand. In the next week...I plan on making some changes and one of them will be more water. It is a great way to start change by cleansing the body and hopefully if my body starts feeling better.....so will my mind. I will let you know how it goes.

So I raise my glass (of water) and say......Here's to a gloriously hydrated week!

Jeans

Day 2
Jeans! We all wear them and if you think about it....they are a crucial part to most of our wardrobes and even our lives. I myself have been around from bell bottoms to skinny's and everything in between. There have been tight jeans, loose jeans, high waisted and low waisted. Some have worn them uber tight while others have chosen to let them fall way below their Mason/Dixon Line. Whatever your choice though.....pants and mainly jeans.....are an essential part of our lives.  I realized this as I was running through the house half crazed looking for my favorite pair this morning. At my age.....and size.....a good fitting, favorite pair are in short commodity.

When I was young.....I chose my jeans based on fashion and looks rather than comfort. If this meant smashing my organs to the point of not functioning properly and never being able to go to the bathroom for fear I would not be able to get them zipped back up on my own.......well then so be it. As long as I looked good, that was all that mattered. And you wonder why girls started going to the bathroom in pairs. Duh....we needed help zipping our jeans. As I got older though, I chose my jeans for comfort. When you are a mom, doing mom stuff and having to reach, bend and twist yourself into a thousand different contortions everyday.....you need comfort. Now a days though.....I choose my jeans for fit! Looks are about 20% of why I choose a jean, comfort is about 30% and fit is the other 50%.

If I have a pair that fit and I can breath in them, I will wear them daily! This means they end up being washed about 5x more than any other article of clothing I have. This also means that in a pinch....I will yank them from the dirty clothes pile and wear them dirty if need be. Yeah....that is how important they are to me. This also means that they wear out about 5x faster than any other article of clothing I have which means that at least twice a year I am breaking in new jeans.

The fact is that when you get older and gain weight.....clothes do not fit like they did when you were

a size 5. Everything drifts south and out.... and your clothes no longer serve as something to accentuate the positives. Instead they must lift, separate, smash and hide all the negatives. Yes....I expect a lot of my clothes. That is why when I find those jeans that fit just right......they are like water in the desert and I hold on to them for dear life.

So with all the different kinds of comfort pants available.....why jeans? There was the sweat pant craze where literally everyone wore them wherever they went. They even made designer sweat pants for the socialite on the go. Truth is....I never got into that. I did have sweat pants and I wore them around the house on occasions but NEVER out. I just couldn't. Then there were the nylon sweat suites. Again quite fashionable if you liked that sort of thing. I didn't. I never even owned one. Then came sleep pants. I must say that I love with my whole heart and soul my sleep pants. That being said....I actually sleep in them and maybe lounge around the house in them, but I don't shop, run around or socialize in them. Now we also have yoga pants. They are great......for YOGA and they look amazing on about .25% of the population. The rest of us just might as well realize that cellulite, lumps, bumps and any other skin imperfections show right through yoga pants and in my book.....it doesn't matter how comfortable you are....ain't nobody wants to see all that! So that is why jeans!

It is my hope that someday I will own a pair of jeans again solely for fashion.....however I will never again allow fashion to trump comfort. That ship has sailed. I would just be happy with a pair of jeans that make my butt look high, my 5'1" legs look long and no muffin top. Is that really too much to ask from my pants? Yeah.....don't answer that!

Day 1: In the Beginning........

Day 1

In the beginning....... Everything since the conception of creation has had a beginning. Everything starts from an origin. This is my origin. If you read my other blogs....then you might know that this last week I have had some thinking time on my hands. In that time I came to some realizations. That is what this is all about.

In each of us very complex and intricate human beings....there are actually only three simple key elements that keep all the complexities and intricacy's functioning. These elements are body, mind and soul. When working in sync.....the being runs efficiently and effectively. However, when even one of these elements is out of sync, the being can become a complete and total train wreck. "Whoot whoo...." Hear that? That is me coming down the track!

In my humble opinion, of the three key elements....the soul is the most important. The soul is where we keep our faith and without faith in something, we are nothing but an empty shell. My faith is in God and like anything else, the only way to strengthen it is to give it a daily workout. For me that is prayer and the constant reminder that if I hand something over to God to take care of.....I must leave it there. Trust me.....with all the spiritual aerobics I do......my soul should be of athletic proportions. It isn't though because the other two elements are not working in sync. That being said, without proper training and care, and without my soul/faith being in good shape, nothing else will be either.

Next is my mind. My mind is so rogue. It always has been. Living in my head is like living in a 1960's thriller all the time. It takes so many twists and turns and you simply never know what is going to happen next. Often my mind likes to lease property in some pretty negative areas. It is a struggle to grab the faith I need to keep myself in more scenic and upscale real estate. It can be exhausting trying to balance mind and soul and if they our out of whack then the body will follow suit.

Finally the body. It has been proven time and again that mind and soul have immense power over the body. They can cause the body healing and they can cause the body to fail. Mine has been failing for a long time. That is what comes from going through life "faking" everything. I have said it before and I will say it again. Those that tell me how strong I am have no idea just how weak I am. Strong is facing things head on and keeping the three elements in sync. Weak is acting as if you face things head on when you know that body, mind and soul are actually reeling out of control at an alarming rate. Perhaps it is time to stop faking and reeling and start putting things right.

My 51st birthday came and went this year with little fan fare or even thought. It was an "ehh" kind of birthday, possibly because there was much more on my mind than cake and wrinkles. This is a pivotal year in my life for a lot of reasons and because of this I seem a lot more out of sync than usual. The truth is though.....I have always been out of sync. I have never really had the balance that allows me to "know" me or find the best me. I was never taught to be whole so I have been working unaligned my whole life. I come from a long line of out of sync and that is all I have ever known. Unless I want to continue the cycle.....it is time for me to actually take a stand.

So today is the beginning. I don't know where this is going to go or what I am going to find on the way. There is no map, directions or guarantees. It is simply a step, which will be followed by another and another until I eventually find my destination. Hopefully when I arrive, I will have found a much better version of me.

It is my plan to blog daily. Perhaps there will be pictures, maybe video and always my thoughts and words on where I am at. While the past may pop up from time to time as I have to know where I have been in order to find out where I am, I really don't want to speculate on the future. I want each day and even each minute to be filled with surprise. I am banking on the fact that if the three elements start to sync up then some of those surprises might just be happy ones. I will post these blogs daily on The Lisa Blogs on facebook but only on occasions will I actually post this on my facebook page. This means that you either have to follow me, like The Lisa Blogs facebook page or bookmark this blog if you wish to go along on this journey. Oh and just so you know what you "might" be in for: there could be weight loss, exercise, health, spirituality and of course Lisaism's right and left. You know you don't want to miss the Lisaism's! Maybe someone reading will laugh or cry or even relate and they too will begin a similar journey of synchronization.

To mark the beginning of this journey....I am doing something I almost never do. I am posting a picture of myself. Okay....myself and two close friends. I am the "fluffy" one in the purple top. In 365 days....good, bad or the same....I will post another picture and see where I am. So grab a toothbrush, pack your readers and let the journey begin............

To Believe in Me

Today is the day! What I did yesterday doesn't matter and what I will do tomorrow is a moot point as tomorrow is not a definite. All that matters is today, right here in this moment. I am in total control of this moment. I am in control of how I act and react and what path I put myself on. My choices and decisions are my own and I will own the bad decisions I make just as I do the good ones.

If the bottom falls out of today.....as it sometimes does on days that end in "y", then I can let it defeat me or fuel me. I can fight or I can fall. Every second I work towards my goal(s) is a second closer to attainment and second farther from the starting line.

I can do anything I want to do. Where there is a will there is always a way and it is not people or circumstance that stand between me and what I want.....it is only me and my fear that  are the culprit.

I cannot control what I do not know and I cannot control the should have's....all I can control is now.

Yes....there are lots of cliches and motivational words here, but the fact is.....no one knows me better than I know me. No one scares me more than I scare me and no one is out there cheering me on except for me. I have to be my own cheerleader and only I know when I need the motivation to move forward, to speak up or simply just to listen. The answers are always there and I can achieve if I believe....I just need to believe in me!

Ready for Some Happy

Life has stepped in and I missed a few days. I gave up working out until I get my life into rhythm. Yeah I know....I may never work out again. No...I will! REALLY!

So I guess that is the bad news. I have not walked or worked out in over a week. The good news is....I have quit riding the couch and have actually bed somewhat productive. Well...until yesterday. Yesterday and today I have had David home. He wasn't acting right yesterday and I was starting to wonder if he was having shunt problems. Today though, after a quiet start, he is back to 100%. He will be going to school tomorrow and I will get back to my regularly scheduled life.

I can tell that in the last couple of days I have felt a little out of sorts myself. I am irritated with the world for no good reason. Other than that though....I feel fine....unless I really start thinking about not feeling fine. Yep...mind over matter. When I am busy though.....all health thoughts seem to be back burnered.

I have been eating much better and there has definitely been no loss of appetite. The kids are happy that I am cooking again too. That slump I was in was really a doozie. Now to move on.

I am really in a mood to organize or at least think about organizing. My house still annoys me and I have done little to make it better. I have got to get myself organized before I can organize anything else. Perhaps that will be this afternoons challenge.....Organize my Life!

Truthfully, I can sort of feel my body evening out and finding its new normal again. Once that happens then maybe things will start falling into place. I am trying to let go of as much negative as possible (both mentally and physically) but obviously my mood states that there is still some residual negativity lingering. Maybe it is the weather or the dogs who keep peeing and puking in my house or maybe it is just me still purging. Whatever.....I am ready for some happy.

Dust in my Rearview Mirror

Yesterday wasn't too bad a day. I feel myself get gritchy though and I am trying to curb that. It is just my nerves getting the better of me. Truly...prayer helps. Yeah I know....how cliche and Christian of me. But it is true.

I veered again last night with a little snacky junk food, but it was better than the night before and another evening or so and I should have the crap all out of my house.....never to return....hopefully! I have been doing amazing on my water drinking too. I can tell the water helps a lot in just how I feel.

Today my corgi Spud was acting a little out of sorts so I took him on the walk with me. There could have been a two fold reason for this. 1) he needed the exercise and 2) I knew with his short legs and the heat, we wouldn't be out long. I was right. We walked about 25 minutes.

This working out that I am doing is forming in stages in my mind. I am starting slow so as to wake the muscles up and not overdue.....thus giving me further excuse to ride the couch. I will not berate myself for a shorter walk than usual and will applaud myself for the effort it sometimes takes me to walk out the door. Every step off the couch and out the door is a step closer to achieving health and fitness. I am trying hard not to make long term or over my skill level goals as I don't want to set myself up to fail. No one knows me better than I know me and I know what works and what doesn't. That being said......there are a couple of longish term goals that I would eventually like to try and hit. One.....I would like to be fit enough to run/walk several races in the next couple of years. Second.....I would like to learn to dance. I figure if Kirstie Alley can do it.....then I should be a shoe-in. Forget that I have no rhythm, no skill and once I hit a dance floor I become petrified and self conscious. I still want to dance!!!!

I also have broken my....I am too lazy to cook thinking and I am starting to fix actual meals again. It has been 3 weeks to a month since I last put any love into my kitchen or my kids food and it is high time I start again. Last night my kids were soooooo happy. I was too.

The walks are actually helping with my anxiety over all of this, along with attending Mass whenever possible, prayer and not allowing myself to go to any dark places in my head. Also.....this blog is helping. This time my efforts are not just on how I want to look, but also how I want to feel and be. I realize that I have little faith in myself and no self-confidence. Somewhere along the line I lost the drive to achieve anything and I lost who I was and who I wanted to be. It is my goal to get all of that back. I am 50 not 80 and I have much left to see, do and experience, but it will never happen if I quit on myself.

So yeah....it is still all about the baby steps. The small goals that right now seem like major hurdles but in time it all will be nothing more than dust in my rear view mirror.

The Plan

So I met with the thoracic surgeon yesterday. I knew I would likely know nothing more than I already did but I was hoping for some peace of mind. Basically what I got was this: if it is cancer....it's not good because there are two spots. Damn! However, my blood work along with everything else about me health wise does not indicate cancer. He highly doubts they are cancerous BUT unless he has them biopsied they won't know anything for sure.

That leads to....they could try and biopsy them now, but as small as they are.....likely they would get a false reading back. Even a PET scan would not be conclusive. So he left it at, if I were his wife....he would say the best course of action is to wait three months, have another CT and see what they look like at that time. Crap! God sure knows how to teach patience! Now to see the endocrinologist on the 25th.

My mind is a horrible place to be right now. Since finding out that I had these spots, my chest hurts, my neck hurts and I feel like crap. Mind you....none of these was remotely true before I got the initial call. Reality tells me that my chest hurts because I am vacationing in anxiety land. My neck hurts for two reasons....one it's all in my head and two I sleep horribly at night and my neck has hurt because of this for years. I feel like crap because I have laid on the couch, felt sorry for myself and tried to eat myself into a grease filled coma. DUH!

Yesterday after going to see the doctor, I was not in the happy place mentally that I had hoped to be, so chips and dip were my friend. Yes, I knew exactly what I was doing and I didn't care. Luckily I quit when I started feeling queasy knowing that I was band-aiding one bad issue with another. I then turned to salad and felt a little better.

Last night was not one of my better nights. Although I went to bed at a decent hour, I awoke every hour or so with mosquito bites that not only itched, but hurt. Finally about 4 a.m. it dawned on my to take Benadryl and I found some Benadryl cream. This gave me at least a couple hours of relief and sleep.....and a nice little Benadryl hangover. 

Today I am back. I am mentally pulling down all that I can actually control and putting the rest aside. Oh and there is a lot of prayer. I did walk again today, I have upped my water intake thirty fold and it is my hope that I can keep my hands out of the chip bag and accomplish a few things today. Quite honestly as I began my walk, I wanted to quit. Mentally I was searching for a reason to just turn around and go home. Luckily I am just slightly more plucky than to quit so I started thinking about blogs to write and continued on. I am not walking the five miles that I used to, but I did walk a good 30 minutes and plan on adding to that daily when possible.

A lot can happen in three months. Right now as far as I know I have a couple of tiny freckles on my lung but other than that I have decent blood pressure, good cholesterol numbers and my thyroid should be heading in the right direction. There is no reason to expect the worst. It is however a good time to start focusing on the positive mentally, physically and spiritually and that is just what I plan to do.