We all have things that just make us feel good. Maybe they make us feel pretty or sexy or maybe they just make us feel complete. They may not be things that we can't live without, but they are things that have purpose in our lives because of what they do for us mentally, physically, spiritually, or all the above. It can be anything as small as getting your nails done or as big as getting plastic surgery. Whatever it is though, you can better bet that someone is going to have an opinion on it and moreover, they are going to make that opinion known.
When I was young, tattoos were really not a mainstream thing. They were more for the military, carnie, biker types. If you were not one of the aforementioned and you had a tattoo, people had immediate preconceived notions about who you were and just how you might fit into society. Over the last couple of decades though, tattoos have become far more mainstream and dare I say, even fashionable. Tattoo parlors are in just about every city and town, large and small and everyone from teens to little older grandmas are getting them.
Depending on the skill of your tattoo artist and your own desired artwork choices, some have literal masterpieces spread out across their bodies. Others though, can end up with misspelled words, designs that don't look the way they had hoped, or just messed up, jacked up tattoos that are ugly and even embarrassing. That is no fun, especially since unless you have $$$ for removal, you are basically stuck with a reminder of either your bad judgment or the artist's bad craftsmanship for eternity and beyond. Either way, it is not the desired end game.
Now about a decade ago, I decided to get my first tattoo. Yes, I was a full-grown, mature adult woman and I wanted a tattoo. However, I told myself that if I got a tattoo, it would have to mean something to me. I wasn't going to put something on my body that would last a lifetime and 40 years from now look at it and wonder, "What the hell was I thinking?" Also, I wasn't putting this tattoo someplace that was going to sag or distort so that again, 40 years from now I would look at it and wonder, "What the hell was I thinking?"
So a friend and I went to a tattoo party at another friend's house. Who knew such things existed? It was rather convenient though. You would get in line, pick the tattoo you wanted, and when it was your turn, you got tattooed. In my head, this beat the heck out of going to a shop. Don't ask me why. Perhaps it was the liquor that I was able to consume before it was my turn. Lucky for me, the guy before me had a whole upper back tattoo of a Michaelangelo painting, so there was plenty of time for me to get my drink on and numb every part of my body.
I had decided that my first and maybe my only tattoo (depending on how this whole thing went) was going to be a little barnyard pig. I have loved pigs all my life and when my friend and I saw the pig in the artists' book of drawings, we both agreed that a pig it must be. I then, in the moment, decided that the placement would be on the top of my right foot. Now I knew nothing about the pain involved with tattoos or where on the body might hurt the least or the most. My placement choice was because I could cover it up as I knew there would be people in my life who would not approve, but when I was barefoot or wearing a sandal, I could enjoy my little piggie.
As the guy in front of me was getting his masterpiece finished up, I nervously awaited my turn full of alcohol and second-guessing my decision. Then suddenly the tattoo artist sat me down, drew the outline of the pig, pressed it on my foot, and away we went. Thank goodness for the alcohol. I felt absolutely nothing in an area that I am told I should have been coming up out of my seat on. In about 15 minutes' time, he was done and I had the cutest little pig on my foot that you have ever seen. For some reason though, the moment I stood up, I knew the party was over for me, and we left.
I have never once regretted my pig and even when those that I knew would disapprove, saw it, and actually did disapprove, I didn't care. I love my pig. In fact, I loved it so much that it made me make a bit of a mistake on my next tattoo.
My son had a friend who had decided he wanted to be a tattoo artist. He in fact was a really good artist and he was looking for people to practice on. I figured everybody's gotta learn and if I did something simple, then how bad could it be? Even if he messed it up, I should be okay...right? So he came to my house and he tattooed both my son and myself. Again, I might have numbed a little with alcohol before he began and again, there was little pain.
I chose an infinity symbol on the outside of my left leg with both my deceased mother and daughter's names on the symbol. It was done in black ink. My sons was a treble clef on his upper arm done in black. The tattoos weren't horrible, but in time, they did start looking kind of globby and so several years ago my son went to a really amazing tattoo artist and had his treble clef redone with a watercolor effect. It is beautiful. Mine, however, just got uglier.
Then last year, one of my closest friends lost her daughter in an accident. It was a tremendous tragedy and it killed me to watch my friend and her husband suffer. Their daughter was an amazing young woman and one of the things she loved were sea turtles. To be honest, I had never really thought about sea turtles before. Then one night I went to bed and I had horrible nightmares. I have no idea what they were about, but the minute my eyes opened the next morning, I had this undying thought that I had to get a sea turtle tattoo on my wrist. I tried to talk myself out of it several times as we were still in the middle of COVID and most tattoo shops were closed. Then, out of nowhere, this tattoo artist that I had never seen before, popped up on my Facebook feed. Even more curious, was that she lived and worked in the next town over. I just knew without a doubt that she was the one I was supposed to go to, so I messaged her and she got me in the next day. She worked out of her home and again, I liked that there was no shop involved. I showed her what I wanted and within half an hour and just a little discomfort (no alcohol was available), I had the most beautiful sea turtle on my wrist that I had ever seen. I cannot tell you how much I love this tattoo, mainly because I think there was a little divine intervention involved with my getting it. I truly think Kylie (the young girl) wanted me to have it and she made it so that it all fell into place for me to get it.
Finally, about two weeks ago, I decided that my globby leg tattoo needed to be fixed. I was tired of seeing it, as it wasn't even really distinguishable anymore. I sent the tattoo artist (her name is Z and she was the one that did my turtle) a picture of my ugly tattoo and showed her what I wanted instead. She drew me a beautiful cover-up for the original tattoo and before I knew it, I was on her table and she was tattooing away. Now I am going to say without hesitation, that this tattoo HURT! Apparently, I picked a spot just ripe with nerve endings and I spent the entire hour questioning this particular life choice with gritted teeth.....until she was finished. She had taken the original infinity symbol and made it much bigger in order to cover the globbiness. She did some amazing shading on the curves and added yellow roses and my mother and my daughters' names. It is truly a beautiful tribute to my mother and daughter and honestly, it was worth every ounce of pain. Often, some of the beautiful things in life are.
I currently have three tattoos that mean a great deal to me. They are tattoos that 40 years from now will still mean a great deal to me and because they are each beautiful, they make me feel beautiful. There is also something about going through the experience of getting a tattoo that is so therapeutic for me. Perhaps the pain of the tattoo is healing in some ways because afterward, I always feel a weight has been lifted. I have no idea why.
Of course, each time I get a tattoo, there are those who tsk tsk me and question why I would do that...especially at my age. I've been told that it is nothing but foolishness and there is always someone who tells me, "Well I would never do that to my body." They are usually the ones that have had their lips plumped and their cheeks filled with botox, but what do I care? If that makes them feel good about themselves, then by all means I support them and if they don't understand that my tattoos make me feel the same way, then let them feel the way they feel. Their opinion of me or my tattoos is none of my business.
Sometimes in life, we just have to do things that change how we see ourselves and feel about ourselves. Had anyone told me when I was in my 20's that when I was in my 50's I would be getting my third tattoo, I would never have believed it. Life and time have changed me though, and these tattoos have helped me heal in ways I never knew possible. And no...I'm not done yet. There will be more. I am working on one that honors my late husband and the life we shared together, but first I gotta find a spot on my body with a lot less nerve endings.
I guess the point of all of this is, get your nails done, have your butt lifted, your tummy tucked or your lips plumped if it makes you feel good about yourself. Do the things that make you feel beautiful and heal your body, mind, and soul. More importantly, don't let anyone make you feel bad or uncomfortable about your choices just because they wouldn't do it or because they don't understand why you would and do.
One thing you learn with age and the passage of time is that life is short and it isn't always easy, it isn't always fair and yes, sometimes there is pain. So when we find things that bring us joy, bring us closure, bring us peace and even give us the ability to move on through life more whole than we were beforehand, we owe it to ourselves to go for it and be damned what anyone else thinks or says.
Until next time.....may you stay healthy, may you do the things that make you happy and may you feel beautiful in your own skin.
