As humans, no matter how tough we are or how closed off we become, each of us still has a deep down in our soul, need for comfort at times. As a kid, we often got that feeling from our parents or grandparents when they would wrap us tightly in a hug. It made you feel as if the world couldn't touch you because you were safe and warm and cared for.
Sadly, our parent's arms were not available to us 24/7 even as kids, so that is often why we would latch on early to things such as blankets and stuffed animals. They gave us similar feelings of comfort and made us feel secure on a stormy night or as we drifted off to sleep. In fact, often those items become so integral in our need to be comforted, that we often hold onto those things into our adult years. Maybe we no longer sleep with them or carry them around, but just knowing that we can pull them out of a box or off a shelf, continues to give us a sense of peace.
As we grow older and leave home for college or even for forever, often things that we took for granted growing up, become sources of what gives us comfort as adults. Maybe it is a certain fabric softener you use in your wash. It might be the same one your mom used and every time you wash your clothes, all it takes is one sniff and you are right back in your mom's house folding laundry fresh out of the dryer. Or maybe it takes you back to playing outside in the yard and smelling that scent waft out of the dryer vent into the air on a warm spring day. To this day it can wrap you up in it and make you feel as if you are back there, safe and comfortable.
Another soother, right down to the soul is food. Mine is meatloaf. Every time I make meatloaf, I use my mom's recipe and as I mix it with my fingers, it takes me back to standing in the kitchen and watching her mix the meatloaf with her own hands. As it bakes, the smells that permeate the house are the same smells that permeated my house growing up. I can close my eyes and go back to a time where my mom cooked with love and had a meal on the table every night. As supper was almost ready, I could smell the meatloaf all the way to my room and I knew any minute I would be called to the table. Then with that first bite of the meatloaf, mixed with the mashed potatoes and gravy, I am transported back to being a kid and sitting around a table with my family and eating my favorite meal of all time. To me, that is the epitome of comfort, and to this day, when life is tough or I am missing my mom, you can bet that meatloaf will be on the menu that night. In my world, it is comfort food at its best.
Getting older though, I have learned that songs, smells, and tastes can easily transport me back to a time when I felt loved, cared for and safe. They bring on a feeling of well-being that is unparalleled. It is a feeling our bodies crave and something that helps not just our physical selves, but also our mental selves. Even as adults and maybe especially as adults, we still need that feeling from time to time and so we create new ways to feel comfort and to carry on those old feelings from the past. I guess we can call it adult self-soothing.
Some of the things that have come to bring me comfort as an adult are: sitting on the porch on a cool and rainy day, wrapped in a blanket, and reading a book. I love the smell, the feel of the air, and the look of the grey sky. It is perfect for getting lost in a book and forgetting that time even exists. Does comfort get any better than that? I also find comfort in a warm Calgon bath. There is something about just soaking in the warm water and smelling the Calgon (yes, it must be Calgon). that just gives me such a feeling of peace and relaxation. I also find comfort on stormy nights when the lightning lights up the sky and I lay in my bed, covered up with a blanket and watching out the window with one of my dogs on either side of me. It gives me such a sense of peace and security.
There are, I am sure, at least a dozen or more other things that give me comfort and with that comfort give me a feeling of security and well-being. And even though most of us don't dwell on the need for comfort, when the possibility of it is near, as humans we long for it and settle into it with a sense of joy right down to our deepest core. Believe it or not, comfort is part of what keeps us healthy, brings us happiness, and keeps us centered. In fact, comfort helps us to keep balance in our lives, even if we aren't aware we need it.
So today, focus on what brings you comfort, and how that comfort makes you feel. Is it your grandma's spaghetti, or the teddy bear you had when you were two? Is it warm cocoa before bed or being wrapped in a blanket by a fire? Whatever it is, give yourself more of it. Allow yourself that comfort from time to time and see if it doesn't make you feel more centered, more joy, and give you a better sense of well-being.
In today's world, taking care of us is so important and if you are a woman reading this, it is essential. We are the caregivers, the moms, and grandmas. We head up homes and we head up corporations. We have to do better and be better each and every day and at the end of the day, we all can use a little comfort.
So until next time, find your comfort, find your joy and allow yourself to find that, which balances it all.
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