Non-Scale Victories vs. The Numbers

My life is getting exciting! Yes, I have lapsed from blogging and yes......that usually means that the bottom has fallen out of my life or especially on this blog.....it means that my newest "lifestyle change" has completely derailed. This time though, it means just the opposite. This time my absence is two fold. First of all, for the last week or so, my router has been messing up and my computer access was gone, but even before that, I had fallen off the blogs because I had fallen head first into life. That's right......I am LIVING!

So what has brought about all the excitement and this LIVING stuff? Okay.....I have to say it....TRIM HEALTHY MAMA!!!! Yes, I know. I tried really hard not to talk about the whole THM thing, but what can I say? It is actually changing me. I feel better than I have felt since before I got pregnant with my son David....dare I say.....15 years ago. I have energy! I have motivation.....and I am not ashamed to look at myself in the mirror anymore!!!!! I even took a "selfie" of a makeover (makeup makeover that is) that I had last night....AND I shared it on Facebook! If you know me at all.....you know that is huge in Lisaland! I also put on a pair of jeans yesterday, totally thinking they would not fit.......and they did. Last time I had them on was in September and even trying to button them caused my muffin top to spill over and caused me to feel anything but attractive. Yesterday though, they fit nicely and buttoned with ease. I was beyond happy. I could even wear them and sit down for a meal and not feel as if I was going to bust out of them. It was glorious. These things were my first major NSV (non-scale victories) since making these changes and they have motivated me like I have never been motivated before. Feeling good, clothes fitting, never being hungry and wanting to do something other than be sitting on my butt attached to the computer.....those are really BIG wins in my world.

If you are a numbers person though, and many of us are, then you believe that the numbers are the big determiner of success in weight loss. Well, true. While numbers don't tell the complete story, they do have merit and my numbers are agreeing with all my NSV's. Since starting this program 11 weeks ago, I have lost about 11" and 11 pounds. It is slow but steady and successful loss. And on a little side note, there has been a bit of a worry in my head about whether I was kidding myself on this program. I mean after all, I am eating butter, cooking with coconut oil and having the occasional full-on, full-fat cream in my diet, not to mention cream cheese, ranch dressing and lots and lots of delicious food. Was this the "cookie diet" all over again? Yeah....don't ask! So 11 weeks ago I took my blood pressure. It was 130/91. It wasn't horrible if I was in the process of bringing it down, but if my lifestyle was going to cause it to climb, then I might be heading into dangerous waters. I was going to give THM a chance though. Today I took it and my BP was.....................107/77!!!! Now THAT is a pretty number and it gives me even more incentive to keep going.

I have much more weight to take off and yes, the holidays are just around the corner. How is this going to work? The same way it did through my son's birthday and Candyfest 2014, better known as Halloween. If I fall off and have a piece of cake or eat 42 pieces of licorice (approximately), then in three hours, I jump right back on THM and forgive myself.

I have already decided that Thanksgiving day and Christmas Day will be cheat days. I plan on fixing all my regular fair with the addition of a couple of new and wonderful THM dishes. Then, at the end of the day as my kids walk out the door, they will be taking leftovers home with them and I will be back on track. It is as simple as that. One day will not derail me, however in the past, the guilt and resulting giving up from that guilt, did. This year, cheating is built-in to my lifestyle, and so is jumping right back on track after the cheat. Funny thing too, after eating on THM for a period of time, when you do have a cheat day, your body craves getting back on track and therefore, that makes it a hundred times easier to stay on track.

Okay, so there you have it. Whether I am looking at my NSV or going by the numbers, the fact is......this change is working! It is working in ways I never dreamed possible and it is making me a better parent, a better cook and a much happier person in the process. For more information on THM, contact me here or on fb. Happy Thursday everyone....now I gotta run!!!!!!

I'm Hooked

I have been busy. Not just a little busy, but crazy busy! It's a good thing though because I have actually had the energy to be busy and I feel really pretty good. Feeling good can make even the worst days much more agreeable. So let's talk.......

Remember that little life style change called Trim Healthy Mama (THM) that I have been going on about? Well.....there is more. A true life style change should consist of more than just weight loss. It should consist of changes throughout your life. THM is proving to do just that. Since I am feeling better, everything else seems to fall into place. Losing the soda (diet or otherwise) from my diet, along with the grains, gluten and sugar have proven to be more beneficial than I knew. My joints, stomach and even migraines are getting better. I don't wake up swollen from excess sugar (that is how sugar reacts in my body) and I no longer crave or even think about Diet Mt. Dew. The weight is leaving my body slowly....and my clothes are fitting better. I am actually not only seeing change in my daily life, but also feeling it. 

Aside from weight loss, THM is improving my organizational skills. I am not an organized girl usually. My kitchen cabinets especially, look like something out of a hoarder show. THM changed that though. You have to have specific items for this to work and they have to be at your fingertips. This got me into a whirlwind of cleaning and organizing. Out went the spices from 1978. Out went the the dried out food coloring and the partially opened boxes of pasta. They were all replaced with mason jars that I can easily mark and see through, and now when I go to make something, I know exactly where everything is.

Now for those of you who want instant gratification and big numbers on the scales each week, THM maybe a little disappointing for you at first. If you are looking for a sprint instead of a marathon....you aren't likely to get that with this plan. There was a time when I would have found this to be a major flaw in the program and I would have abandoned it and never looked back. It is also like I said, not the easiest plan I have ever been on because no one does it for you and you have to really use your brain and wrap your mind around this healthy way of both eating and thinking. In fact there are still days when I have to go to my "go to" person or hit up the Facebook THM pages and ask questions. Again.....in the past, I would never have gotten invested enough to have taken the time. Heck, I have even made my own THM binder of meals and recipes. So why this plan? Easy. Because it works, I like how I feel and most importantly.......I AM NEVER HUNGRY! Never...ever! 

THM is an amazing plan that lets you eat healthy fats and carbs. The recipes are amazing and my entire family loves the meals. They don't even miss the sugar, gluten or grains. Some of their favorites are the smoothies made with........wait for it.....wait for it...........COTTAGE CHEESE! My kids even like my Good Girl Moonshine (GGMS) made with apple cider vinegar. Yep, it sounds strange but these recipes are really good.

I am still learning the THM way and sometimes I get confused on what constitutes and "S" meal vs. an "E" meal, but the fact that you don't have to measure and weigh everything and that you can eat 6 times a day kind of makes up for the confusion. So if you are looking for a life style change, if you have health issues or you need to lose a few pounds, I encourage you to at least think about trying THM. Step one is to buy the book, check the book out or borrow the book. You can purchase either the actual book or the Ebook straight from the THM website. Read it, check out the FB THM pages and go on Pinterest and check out all the yummy recipes. I can pretty well guarantee you that you won't be sorry. I am always here too, to answer any questions that I can or help you find the answers if I don't have them. So check it out and give me some feedback on what you think.

Now......so as not to leave you empty handed, I will share with you one of my favorite drink recipes from THM. If you are a coffee drinker and especially a flavored coffee drinker, you are gonna love this. Forget paying $6-$10 for a pumpkin latte when you can make a Bullet Proof Pumpkin Coffee right at home for a fraction of that.

You will need:
Freshly brewed black coffee (a coffee cup full)
A blender (I use my Nutribullet)
Pumpkin puree (canned is fine and about 1-2 Tbsp)
1 tsp. butter (not margarine.....REAL butter)
1 tsp. coconut oil
caramel extract (about 1/2 tsp)
Truvia sweetener (1-4 packets depending on your personal sweetness level)
Pumpkin pie spice (about 1/4 tsp)
Ground Cloves (about an 1/8 tsp)
Cream (yep....the real stuff 1/4 cup)

Instructions:
Put hot coffee, pumpkin, butter, coconut oil, caramel extract, Truvia and spices in the blender and blend until thoroughly mixed.
In a large coffee cup, pour cream into the bottom and then pour the blended mixture over it. Stir to combine. Top with a dash of cinnamon, nutmeg or ground cloves.

Now that is a cup of coffee.

Bullet Proof Coffee's are an "S" because of the fat in them. You can have them as part of a complete "S" breakfast with eggs and bacon or you can simply have it on it's own say at 6 a.m. and then have your eggs and bacon three hours later.

Instead of adding pumpkin, you can add vanilla or you can add the caramel extract with a dash of salt to make a salted caramel BP Coffee.

BP Coffee's are not only delicious but they are good for your digestion and give you a nice helping of healthy fat. The one drawback to this amazing concoction is....they become addictive and you may want one everyday. It is suggested though, that you limit your BP Coffee to 3 times per week. It is my Sunday morning treat and any other day that I need a pick me up.

So there you have it. A little more about me and THM. I can't help it......I'm hooked!

A Whole New Person Begins

I am doing a great job!!!!

I have found myself of late running in what feels like a hamster wheel. It has been a bit crazy trying to accomplish, deal with and simply make it through a couple of really over-the-top weeks. I have held my own, but barely.

Today it has been four weeks since I began my final journey into taking care of me. I say final because for the first time in my entire life, I feel that I am going to stick with this and actually make the necessary changes. Why is this time so different from the last 5,692? Okay that is possibly a very defined exaggeration, but the reason is......how I feel!

Since I started Trim Healthy Mama (THM) four weeks ago, I can tell real change. The first and foremost change is that I don't crave sweets or diet Mt. Dew anymore. I am four weeks clean from the dreaded dew and I have not missed it once. My Good Girl Moonshine (GGMS) has easily replaced it and become my go-to drink of choice. I also am never hungry. In fact I have literally had to struggle at times to eat every 3 hours as I am simply not always hungry. The idea that you must eat in between meals as opposed to the idea drilled into our heads that we shouldn't is so foreign and yet so freeing that my body I think is confused.

Last week I didn't blog because life was too crazy to take the time. When I stepped on the scales, I had gained 2 lbs. I half way expected it as I was trying a special THM week where I ate three days of Deep S or satisfying meals and two days of Deep E or energizing meals.  The S meals are higher in good fats and the E are higher in carbs. I honestly think my body wasn't ready for this special week and because THM is mostly free styling meaning no measuring portions.....I may have over free styled. At any rate, there was a 2 lb gain. Honestly though, feeling so much better, feeling satisfied and kicking diet Dew completely outweighed any frustration at the gain. Also, in the book it stresses that everyone's body is different and gains or plateaus will come with the losses. The good news is....every three hours you have the opportunity to get back on track. 

Since last week, I have mostly stuck to S meals unless my body decides to crave an E. Then, instead of having an E day, I simply have an E meal. This seems to work better for me and if I eat an E breakfast, then that seems to give me some much needed energy for my current crazy days. It has paid off. I am down again...1.4 lbs. And because of it, I have hit my goal of 1-2 lbs/week. I have lost a total of 4 lbs and I am so happy. Those are 4 lbs I do not plan to ever see again.

By starting THM and basically gushing about it 24/7....that's right, I'm a gusher, I have garnered quite a bit of interest in the plan. I have even gushed a couple of people into buying the book and learning more. The other day, I had a lady ask me to give her the short description of THM. She thought she might want to try it, but she needed more info first and the facebook pages were too confusing without having some background. So here is the description I gave her:

THM is not low fat or no fat, but it is lower carb but not carb free. Good fats and carbs are both essential to weight loss and health.

You eat several types of meals but the ones you start out with and that are the mainstay of the plan are S meals (satisfying) and E meals (energizing).

S meals are higher in good fats such as Coconut oil, Extra virgin olive oil and butter. You eat protein at every meal and you can have great meals such as eggs fried in butter and bacon or sausage.

E meals are higher in good carbs such as sprouted breads and brown rice. When you are eating E's you add more protein and take away fat. My son's girl friend makes an amazing E soup that has brown rice, smoked turkey sausage, rotel tomatoes and three kinds of beans. It is to die for and I am never hungry.

The key to THM is to avoid combining carbs and fat which will feed fat cells in your body. You can have healthy forms of both....just not together.

And the answer to the big question: Do you feel deprived? I do not! I make homemade healthy flavored coffee's that could shut coffee houses down. I have decadent desserts like pumpkin pie, chocolate mousse and chocolate cake. I can even eat homemade chocolate candy and every recipe I make has gotten a thumbs up from my kids.

The no-no's of the plan are unhealthy fats such as vegetable, corn and canola oil. Sugar is also out as well as any sweetener that is not Stevia. Wheat flour is gone and next to bread, the hardest thing I can't eat are potatoes because they are a cheap and versatile staple. They also want you to limit or avoid high natural sugar fruits like grapes, bananas and pineapple although in small quantities they are okay. And finally....corn. Although most of us love a good corn on the cob or creamed corn casserole, corn has a very difficult time being processed in our bodies and has a lot of sugar. It is not good for us no matter how much we like it....so it too must hit the curb.

For every no-no though (except maybe corn), there is a healthy alternative that works and still lets you enjoy the foods you love and trust me when I say, after a week.....you won't miss any of it. Also, knowing that you aren't counting and measuring everything makes for quicker meal prep, teaches you to eye your food and know how much it takes to fill you up (and eating every three hours helps with smaller portions) and it just leaves you feeling much freer at meal time.

So there you have it. A basic tutorial of THM. However, if you want to know the details and have an understanding of why THM works, you need to buy the book. Order it online from THM or get the Ebook and start reading. Then hit the THM fb pages or hit me up with questions. I promise you that you won't be sorry and within a month you will feel like a whole new person.

Now....here is how this whole new person is starting to change!

The Numbers:
Weight:  190.6 (-4)
Height: 5'1"
Chest:  44" (-1)
Waist:  41"
Hips:  43" (-1)
Thighs:  23" (-1)
Calves:  15.5" (-.5)
Upper Arms: 12.5"
Wrists:  6.5"
A total of 4lbs and 3.5" lost! I will call that a win!

Reality

Reality. It is the other side of self doubt, denial and fear or conceit, shallowness and narcissism.

Reality is when we let go of delusion, ego and rose colored glasses.

Reality can be distorted by our minds, our desires and the words of others.

Reality is stationary and movable all in the same moment.

Reality can be harsh and hateful and reality can be beautiful.

Reality can be a prison keeping us chained to the negative or it can set you free.

Reality is not the mirror for the mirror cannot see inside.

Reality is dark and light, positive and negative, good and evil.....all wrapped into one.

Reality is your choice.

Each reality is different. Mine is not yours and yours is not mine and yet each of us has our own.

Don't like your reality? Change it!

On My Way to Being....A Trim Healthy Mama

Happy Girl.....errrr....I mean Celery Girl here! Yes, today I am happy. Why? Because I weighed and lost another 1.6 lbs. This means that I have lost a total of 5 lbs in 2 weeks. No I am not taking the weight off in big numbers, but I am taking it off and dare I say.....enjoying the process. I am also taking it off in the manner in which I set out to do it. I said 1-2 lbs per week and last week, I exceeded that. This week I am right on target.

I had told myself that I wouldn't bore you with the details of how this is all coming into play, BUT then I thought about it and said  to myself...."Self, you are never really boring," (yes, I am however a bit narcissistic), "and people are actually asking you how you are losing. So why not talk a little more about it." I can't argue with logic, so here is my blog about me! Well, actually about how I am losing weight and trying to change my life in the process. I know you will be fascinated....so quit rolling your eyes!

Okay,  last week you met Marni. She was my inspiration. She always has been in so many different ways, but now she has even trumped herself. She started talking to me about Trim Healthy Mama. The first time, I immediately tuned her out and started listening to Men Without Hats in my head. When she came up and brought her Good Girl Moonshine fix in's (GGMS for short), I went to my happy place and thought about Shemar Moore cleaning the grout in my bathroom while Brad Pitt loaded my dishwasher. Yeah, what can I say? At this point, I wanted my life to change, I just didn't want any guidance or motivation to make it change....cause that's how I roll!

Finally, two things (besides Marni) made me decide that now was the time to change. The first one was all the pictures that were taken of me while Marni was here visiting. In every picture I looked old, way too heavy and drunk. Sadly, the drunk look was much preferred to the "old" and "way too heavy." Instead of untagging myself in every picture and getting really pissed that the pictures even existed, I actually made myself look at them. In fact, I took it a step further and even started a VLOG where I had to look at myself and let the rest of the world look at me too. It was an eye opener and made me realize that those pictures were the last time I wanted to look like that.

The second thing that shoved me over the edge of change, was my health. I had just gone to several yearly preemptive doctor exams and been given a clean bill of health. I then asked myself if at 52, I could continue on lucking out on my health, with my unhealthy lifestyle of bad food choices and no exercise? The answer slapped the cheesecake right out of my hands and got my butt up off the couch. I haven't looked back since.

The problem with losing weight and getting healthy was the fact that in the last three or so decades, I have been on every diet known to man and while I spent many years being very thin, I was not healthy. I abused my body with unhealthy eating habits and dare I say......diet pills that kept me in a cycle of yo-yo dieting. After I had my kids and lost my husband and my mother, I simply gave up and let stress and life take over and I ate myself to my current "embarrassing picture stage." I knew that I didn't want to get on that ride again. That is when I shut Men Without Hats off and sent Shemar and Brad to clean someone else's house......and I started listening to Marni.

At first Marni told me the basics and then she sent me link after link of THM stuff. I knew right off the bat that this diet was going to be a little more difficult than counting points or calories, so I got the e book on line. I devoured every page in just a couple of days taking notes as I went. On completion I had a better idea of what I was dealing with and I really liked the explanations of how certain foods work together or against each other in our bodies. I also knew, that for a while, I would be doing this plan with a certain amount of trial and error. Luckily though, Marni is just a phone call or text away and I have joined several THM facebook pages where someone is always willing to answer my questions.

Now let me gush about one of my favorite subjects......FOOD!!!!! I have always loved eggs, beef, cheese and my all time favorite.....butta! Unfortunately, over the years.....we have been told that these things should be cut out of our diets or eaten in very small quantities. Because of this, I have turned my back on them and chosen more chemically based items such as low fat, diet and fat free items, thinking this was the key to weight loss success. Sadly, the weight remained. With THM, these foods are not only allowed, they are highly encouraged as you really can't lose weight and keep it off, without them. The only thing that this diet really says is a big NO NO is sugar and most sweeteners and also most breads, pasta's, etc. But they don't leave you hanging. They give you exchanges and different kinds of these items that you can eat and enjoy without all the unhealthy carbs that our regular favorites pump into our bodies. ***This though....is NOT a carb free diet.*** It is a lower carb diet but we need healthy carbs to fuel our bodies and THM provides these.  I have become a true fan of Ezekiel Sprouted Bread (something I would never have tried before this plan) and I am now a 100% convert to the Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) way of life.

Marni's GGMS looked and smelled like my socks do after I go for a five mile walk. I feared drinking that stuff might not make me lose weight, but it sure as heck might kill me. Meanwhile, Marni drank it like it was diet Mt. Dew, poured forth straight from the mountain of Dew. I cringed to think about it. However, I knew that the Diet Dew, as much as I adored it, was my bodies arch nemesis and that I had to give it up. Marni then sent me a GGMS recipe that included sparkling zero everything water, lime juice, ACV and stevia. The recipe stated that it tasted like Mt. Dew. Yeah right! Color me surprised. That darn thing not only tasted like my beloved Diet Dew....dare I say.....it was better! I am now almost two weeks clean from the Dew and I have never looked back. I LOVE my GGMS, and to know that it is both good for me and that it aids in my healthy lifestyle change, well.....BONUS!!!!

In the two weeks that I have been on the plan, I have not had a minute of hunger, I am learning to love old once forbidden foods, along with a whole list of new foods and because of GGMS....my body is never dehydrated. This plan has been a win/win for me.

Now the facts. THM is not the easiest plan you will ever be on, but if done right.....it will be the last plan you are ever on. You have to relearn what are truly good and nutritious foods and you have to get rid of a lot of the foods that we have been told over the years were better choices. You also have to learn to wrap your mind around the fact that you can eat eggs, butter, ground beef and cheese and still lose weight. It is kind of like teaching a dog....."old" new tricks.

Quite honestly, I could go on and on about THM, and since I have established that I am NOT at all boring, in the future, you will likely hear more about it. I will leave it here though....If you are looking for a life long lifestyle change and you want to not only look better, but feel better too, then please check out THM. As I said, it takes a bit of getting used to, but the end results are so worth the effort.

Until next time.....Celery Girl...out!

189.6=5lbs

The Metamorphosis of Marni

Celery Girl here!!! So since this blog is about change in all ways, I thought I would expand my perimeters a bit. Last week you got to hear all about what is going on with me and the start of my change, but I thought you might like to hear about others journey's of change. This week I invited a guest blogger to share her story of change and what it has done to and for her life.

This particular blogger is a high school classmate of mine and has been a dear friend for many years. To look at her and her life, you would never have thought she needed to change a thing, but that is on the outside looking in. On the inside she felt she needed change and she went after it.

The blogger I am referring to is my dear friend Marni Jones. She is housewife, mother, grandmother and friend extraordinaire. There is nothing this woman can't do if she puts her mind to it and quite frankly, her skills in the house, the kitchen and crafting make the rest of us look.....well....down right inferior. Everyone should have a friend like Marni....but you can't have her....'cause she's mine!

All kidding aside, the changes Marni has implemented and the transformation they have caused both inside and out, emotionally and physically are nothing short of amazing. I am so proud of her accomplishments and even prouder to call her friend. So without further ado....I give you The Metamorphosis of Marni.

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The Metamorphosis of Marni 

Change….to become different, or to make someone or something different. Now that is for sure a great word. Yes, it can be scary, but it can also be eye opening not only for yourself, but for those around you. I've never been much for change. In fact, it would totally freak me out when things changed. Maybe that’s from my childhood…..and never really knowing a true normal. A little bit of background on mmmwah. At the ripe old age of 18, I became a wife (to my high school sweetheart) and 3 months later I was well on my way to becoming the mom I dreamed of being. So life was on track for me. I had planned what I wanted and without changing my mind I got it, and let me say….I LOVED it! I was put on this earth to be exactly what I was.

Through the years I never once questioned my life’s decision and honestly, I was having a lot of fun. Now, there were bumps in the road for sure, but I was a happy wife and mom. As my kids grew I encouraged them to be whatever they wanted to be, and I was that wife that encouraged my husband to be the very best he could be, all the while happily basking in the glow of my family, who were quite frankly..... my world. I think like many mothers, I just got lost in family and was happy to stand back in the shade of their successes. I enjoyed watching what they could do and kind of lost myself, forgetting to take care of me. The years flew by and my kids were no longer kids. Just like every other mom out there that throws herself into family life, when the kids grow up its like “Ummm…… what do I do now?” Honestly I was lost. But then this wonderful thing happened. My daughter got pregnant and there I was, taking care of my grandson and a few years later my granddaughter. Again, there I was, doing what I knew best, taking care of others. I was set for a few more years…or so I thought.

One day for some reason I looked at myself and my life. Now mind you I was not unhappy, but I wasn’t totally happy, if that makes any sense. I know that lots won’t get that but I think I was just not totally happy with anything. People choose to make changes for various reasons and I wasn’t happy with ME. I had hit a point where I knew that I could be more than what I was; I just didn’t know what that was. Some of the things I could not control, so I decided to start with something that I could. I did a total lifestyle change and I dropped 60 pounds. Now to listen to my friends, I didn’t need to lose any (I am a tall girl so I hid it well, if I do say so myself) but I needed to FEEL better. So my journey began. Let me say that my life was not horrible before. It really was and still is wonderful, but now as all my family was doing their own thing it was time for me to do “my own thing” too. Trust me it was not easy because I was just so used to doing for others that it was hard to step out of that box and start to think about myself. After all, I had never really put myself first and here I was…. considering doing just that. So before I could over think the whole thing, I just closed my eyes and jumped.

So let me explain one thing about myself…. when I do something, I am ummmmm…… well people say that I become obsessive. I personally call it “dedication” but others do not see it that way. I went head strong into the new way of me! I started with changing my diet. It was just a simple change of eating better and eating less. My workout was the Wii (funny huh?) and walking. After a year of getting healthy I felt amazing! I KNOW during the course of all of this, that I drove people crazy by saying things like, “Oh, this is what I eat, it's so good for you,” or when out shopping with my daughter, I would pick things out that were really good for you and she would just say “Who are you and what did you do with my Mother?” To be blunt, I was a pain in the ass. It worked though, and I have never felt better and honestly, I think I look pretty good for a gal who just turned 50.

Through the process I have harangued my husband into this new “lifestyle” and he has made huge strides too. Our marriage has never been in a better place in EVERY aspect….if you know what I mean!!! (Wink wink) We have been told that we are more like newlyweds now than we were 30 years ago and I love that. We can't seem to walk by each other without hugging, kissing or playfully touching. It is amazing. There is so much energy in our lives and it shows. Here we are rolling into 32 years of marriage and we still enjoy each other’s company and sometimes I believe that I surprise him as I am so much stronger and I am even speaking up for myself.  I know by the look on his face that I both surprise him and make him proud!! This is what this change has brought about.

By choosing to take care of me and through this change, I believe that I have found my voice. I have always been that quiet girl in the corner. There were times that I did speak out, but most of the time…. yeah, NO! Since all of these changes, I seem to feel much more comfortable putting myself out there…more than I ever have before. Nothing scares me anymore. Not speaking up and speaking out is the cross that many who are the do for others, people pleaser types have to bear and with me because I was always that “Yes” friend, it was bad. Whatever someone else wanted to do, I was good with that….whether I really was or not. That was a learned thing from childhood that carried with me into adulthood. People got used to that, so when I started speaking up, I know that a few people were not happy. I just hope that along this process they can see that as I am changing and with the change, I am becoming a better friend to them.

So, as change goes, I do believe that I have made huge strides in the right direction to better myself, my family, my relationships and just my whole life. I KNOW there are some out there that think that you need to change the “inside” first to make this work. For me, it was a process of both. I began changing the “outside” which in turn made me strong enough to be able to change the inside. Each of us is different and our processes are different.  We all do the best that we can through the life we are given and that is what I did. I was the best person that I could be at the time and then life changes and we can choose to change with it or stay in the same place.  I think sometimes we just need to find that one aspect that is holding us back, maybe that one thing that scares us, in order to take that one step in the other direction that will make a huge change and put us on the path to who we are truly meant to be.  I am  still the SAME person I have been,  I just believe that now I am a  BETTER version of that person and I am proud to share me with the world!!!!!  So look out world… here I come!!!!!!!!!!

191.2=3.4

Today's The Day

Celery Girl here......and what a week it has been! Okay, compared to some of the weeks I tend to have, this one has been a walk in the park, but still...... So today is the day. You will have to bare with me here, because today.....I am baring it all! Get your mind out of the gutter!

The awesome news has been that I have had some really good feedback on the VLOG...From Here to Healthy at 50 and Beyond. The bad news is....technology hates me! So far I have only been able to put out two vlogs in my thirty day vlog because I can't get my video camera and youtube to play nice together. Someone suggested it might be user error. That person is now dead to me. I am hoping that my college son will be able to take a few minutes away from his college life and help his poor technologically challenged mother beat the camera and youtube into submission. Hopefully this will happen today. Until then though....you are stuck with my words of wisdom here on the blog...with a B!

Well....it has started! The diet and lifestyle change are in the works and this time.....I am raising the bar by calling in reinforcements and eventually putting it on the vlog so that the world will know my shame if I don't stick with it. I am also lowering goal expectations. I have.....are you ready for this....60-80 lbs to lose! Yeah, I know. It sucked for me to see those numbers on the scales too, but the fact is...I worked hard for those numbers by doing nothing and eating all the wrong things. The reality is.....it is not going to come off in a month! I have no expectation of 5 lb weekly losses. I am setting my weekly loss goal at 1-2 lbs. Yes, this means slow going but it also means definite steady results that will keep my body healthy and help me to dust the cobwebs off my metabolism.

When you lose weight too quickly so many things happen to your body that you don't even realize. First of all, in order to lose weight quickly, you are immediately setting yourself up to gain it all back (and more) just as quickly. You are not training your body or your mind to eat properly, you are merely depriving your body of proper nourishment for a quick and temporary fix. Instead of band aiding the problem, I plan on making this a permanent fix this time. I don't want to lose 60 lbs in six months, be hungry all the time, watch my skin and hair take a beating for lack of nourishment and then a year from now be back in the same spot I am in today. My end game, is not only to weigh less, it is also to be healthy body, mind and spirit and to not have to fight this battle again. I want this change to be a permanent one that will take me through the next 50 years. Yes, as a matter of fact I do plan to be around until I am 100! And yes, this should scare any number of people!

Okay, why did I say 60-80 lbs? That is a 20 lb discrepancy. That is at least a size and a half difference. Yes, but I am not 20 anymore. By the way.....it is okay for me to say that. Not anyone else. At 20 or even 30, I could be pretty darn skinny and get by with it. At 50ish, I won't be that lucky. You have seen older women who lose too much weight and rather than look good, they look unhealthy in a different way. Their body looks frail and wrinkly, skin hangs in the wrong places and they just don't look as good as they might have had they not lost so much weight. So I might lose 60 lbs and have curves but by losing slowly, working out and eating healthy, I might look just great.....OR....I might need to still lose another 10-20 lbs. I will play it by ear and see how it goes. I will never have the body of my 20's or 30's again, but I hope to have a healthier body than I have ever had when all is said and done and wearing a size 8 wouldn't suck either. 

So how am I going to do this? Well, I have been doing some research on diets. It is safe to say that over the last three and a half decades, there aren't many diets that I haven't been on. Most were fads and unhealthy, some were very expensive and not worth the time or the money, but the tried and true that I always seem to come back to is Weight Watchers. However, this time I am switching it up a bit. There is a new diet plan that a lot of women that I know are trying and having excellent results on. It is called Trim Healthy Mama or THM. I have a friend who by the way will be my guest blogger next week, (yeah....that's a thing now) who has had great success with THM and she looks fabulous at 50. I think you will love her story. So to make this all work for me, I am taking the journaling and weight loss tracker of Weight Watchers along with some of their basic tried and true principals and incorporating THM foods and recipes in the mix. For me, the two are a good match with my life....and that is what this journey is all about....things that work for me and with my life which will in turn make me successful in the long run. Remember, what works for me, might not work for you. It is all about doing the search and finding out what works with you and your lifestyle.

Of course, no lifestyle change is complete without working out, but regardless of what those prime time weight loss shows tell us (i.e. Biggest Loser and the such) most normal, un-medically supervised, personal trainer lacking mere mortals can not go from 80 lbs overweight to running a full marathon in a month. Especially now that I learned a really valuable lesson about overdoing and still being able to function (remember that unfortunate little twerking incident?) I now know I need to take it a bit slow and let my body be my guide. To start, I plan to give my body several days of water and diet change and then begin with walking. I will gradually add in weights and cardio so that my diet and my workout compliment each other. Somehow though, I think there maybe an inner athlete in me,  that has been crushed under apathy, low self esteem and a Big Mac. I hope in the next couple of months to find her, save her and let her be all that she can be!

Okay, so there are no quick fixes. There will be good days and not so good days. I am human and my human frailties and weaknesses will obviously rear their ugly heads from time to time, but this isn't a quick sprint to the finish line. This will be a process and along the way, through journaling, exercise and the occasional help from my arsenal of good friends and supporters, I hope not only to lose my unhealthy weight, but to also gain some really healthy insight on me, my life and just where I want to be in the next 52 weeks!

The Numbers:
Weight:  194.6
Height: 5'1"
Chest:  45"
Waist:  41"
Hips:  44"
Thighs:  24"
Calves:  16"
Upper Arms: 12.5"
Wrists:  6.5"

The bad news is...the numbers don't lie....nor do the pictures. Sigh! The good news is....this is the last day that I will look like this and the last time that these are my numbers! Yay me!

From Here to Healthy at 50 and Beyond....A VLOG!

So I did it! I stepped so far outside my comfort zone that I may need a rope to pull me back in. A little history here.......I HATE TO HAVE MY PICTURE TAKEN! This goes back to my first memories of my mom putting one of those cameras with the big flashbulbs in my face and clicking away. Perhaps it was the fact that I would continue to see blue flashes long after the picture was taken or maybe it was because I just never felt comfortable seeing myself on film. Whatever the case, there aren't a whole lot of pictures of me floating around. Video was even worse. I can probably count on one hand with fingers left over how many pieces of video there are out there with my face on it. I guess you could say that I am camera shy....and this is at the best of times. Right now, I certainly don't feel that I am at my best or even anywhere close to that, but in the last couple of weeks, I have begun to understand that in order to change things, you have to love some aspect of who you are. I am working on that as we speak!

Recently, thanks to some picture happy friends of mine, there have been quite a few current and not particularly attractive pictures of me going around Facebook. I say not particularly attractive because quite honestly, I don't see the person looking back at me..... as the person I envision myself to be. The woman in those pictures has a lot on her plate and a lot of years left to live and I want her to be as healthy and happy as possible. Right now....she is neither, and the whole world sees this. Those pictures were hard for me to look at, but very very necessary.

Feeling somewhat empowered by being able to look at those pictures and not untag myself or put a hit out on the photographers, I took it to the next level and took the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. My son Z helped me to film it, and although I had just mowed the yard, looked like hell and then had water and ice dumped on my head, I put it on Facebook. That was one of the hardest things mentally I have done, but I had to do it in order to challenge myself and propel myself into a new chapter of change in my life. I also figured that ALS was a cause worthy of pulling me out of my photographic shell and I don't regret a second of the filming.

Today....I break down the walls of my comfort zone even further. I am stepping outside myself and taking the first steps into either dealing with looking at what I have become and being satisfied with who I am and the consequences of my current lifestyle from here on out....OR....making the necessary changes in my life to be the person I want to be for many many years to come and have documentation of the journey. That's right. Today I started a 30 Day VLOG (video blog)! I made up my mind that I don't have to change, but for the next 30 Days.....if I don't make changes, I have to be accountable for it..........on film! You have no idea how I am cringing inside right now just writing this.

Okay....all this being said, I would not be embarking on this stripped down bare journey, if I didn't have every intention of kicking butt and taking names. I have no illusions that in 30 Days I will be exactly where I want to be, but I do know that in 30 Days I will be much closer to where I want to be and much healthier and happier to boot. It is a win/win with failure NOT being an option.

Okay.... today is a new day and in Lisaland.....a huge leap outside of anything remotely comfortable to me. So come on over to my YouTube page and join me in my journey....From Here to Healthy At 50 and Beyond!

Stay Tuned.....

So what do YouTube, a size 8 and guest bloggers have to do with each other and most importantly....ME? Well standby and you will be finding out. I am not ready to divulge too much just yet, but know that this past weekend was the catalyst for a new way of thinking. Instead of my life being about everyone else, I have decided to pull back a bit and start thinking a little more about....ME! Crazy you say?! Downright selfish! Or perhaps.....It's about time! Whatever your thoughts on the matter, you will be hearing more about all of this....very soon!

As women, it seems to be in our nature....to nurture. We take care of the husband, the kids, the grandkids (if we are of a certain age), the house, the job, the laundry and even the dog.....and everyone of those people, places or things come with baggage that we must also take care of. Through it all, we often forget to take care of the most important person involved, and that is ourselves. No that is not ego talking, that is fact. Without us, who would take care of everyone else? In order to be that person for everyone, we have to put ourselves first every once in a while. This includes but is not limited to: getting plenty of rest, relaxing ever so often and sitting down to actually enjoy "good" food instead of just grabbing junk and running. We are worth it you know! We do deserve to take care of us, or God forbid.....be taken care of, every once in awhile.

I have been that person for everyone in my hemisphere (whether they wanted it or not) for many years. Through it all, I forgot about, or simply just discarded myself, my wants and even my needs trying to take care of everyone else's wants and needs. Where has it gotten me? Exhaustion, 70+ pounds over weight and quite frankly.....it has left me not very happy. Now I am realizing that if I don't take proper care of me, then I can't take proper care of everyone else. Oh....and here is the real kicker.....brace yourself, I think I realized that maybe everyone in my hemisphere really doesn't need my constant care. I guess there is a line where it is no longer caring and it becomes more hovering and enabling. Yeah...I'm THAT mom! Don't judge me!

There is also the issue that if I don't take care of me now, when all my needy peeps are gone, I won't be able to enjoy my life and my time. Not taking care of me now, could quite possibly leave me riddled with health issues in the future. I don't want the tables turned and someone else having to take care of me. That is definitely not the way I want to spend the next half century of my life. And yes, as a matter of fact I do plan to live to be 100ish! That alone should scare quite a few people!

Well, changes are happening. In fact, they are happening as we speak and while weight loss is obviously a necessary change, there are many other aspects of my life that must also change, and none of  it can happen unless the heart and mind are involved too. Just so you know, the heart is on board and the mind is hatching a plan. So again....stay tuned because you will be hearing from me again, much sooner than you think!

Weight Watchers....1970's Style

Back in 1963, a woman named Jean Nidetch founded a group where women went to weekly meetings to help each other lose weight and to stay on track during and after the weight loss. Of course I am talking about Weight Watchers. The diet itself came from a diet clinic in New York state, but the comradery and team work were all Nidetch's idea. After losing 20 lbs, she needed that group effort and support to keep off the weight. Little did she know her efforts would lay the groundwork for the futures of Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig and other diet programs.

In the early 1970's, I had a very dear aunt who had a heart condition caused by childhood rheumatic fever.  After having her children, she had never taken off the weight and by the weight standards of those days, she was overweight. I remember going to her house one time and seeing her. She was obviously uncomfortable with herself and her size and in a day and time when women still wore house dresses, hers was large and loose fitting. I remember my mother and my other aunt talking about her on the way home and being upset because they were worried about her and her heart.

It was a year or two later and we made another trip to see family. There was my beloved aunt. No longer was she wearing a loose fitting dress. She was wearing slacks and a top and she looked like a million bucks. She was the talk of the trip and if I remember correctly, she had lost somewhere between 30-50 lbs. This was the first time I ever heard the words....Weight Watchers(WW). At the time it was still a young program, but success stories like my aunts were popping up all over the place. My aunt was an avid devotee to the program. It literally changed not only her life but the quality of her life. For the rest of her life (almost 30 years)she was on the maintenance program and never did she put the weight on again.

Later in the 70's, my pencil thin mother began putting on weight. I guess divorcing and being uprooted will do that to you. First there was 5 pounds, then 10 and when the 20 lb mark was hit, my aunt gently persuaded my mom to find a local WW chapter and go to a meeting. I still remember her first day. She took my brother and I with her to the meeting and she got all of her stuff. We left the meeting and drove promptly to a Mr. Swiss which had awesome slushies. My mom went in, got a grape slushie and said...."This is my last treat until this weight is gone," and she stuck to that. Once that slushie was gone...she never looked back.

The WW program of the 1970's was nothing like the program of today. They were given a scale to weigh their food on, right down to the very ounce. They got the program which was a little pink brochure like pamphlet with maybe six pages and they got their weekly sheet in which they wrote down every mouthful of food that passed their lips. The foods were pretty basic with a lot of chicken, fish and liver (good for elasticity in the skin), fruits, veggies, milk and they were pretty stringent on three meals a day with a couple of small snacks in between.

It was at this time that my brother and I learned to, if not like vegetables, then to at least eat them. We also ate tons of tuna. Mom wasn't big on chicken or many types of fish, but tuna she would eat. This was also where I learned that not all milk was created equal. The first time I tasted skim milk I thought I might actually die. Obviously I didn't but it sure took some time to get used to that watery substance they were laughingly calling milk.

After six weeks and not one "illegal" food (back then on the program you had legal foods and illegal

foods) my mother had shed 25 lbs. She looked phenomenal and for many years, she too was on maintenance. Not until she shattered her leg and ankle in the 1980's did she ever start to put it on again. The fact is though, people really lost weight on the old school program and you could find a WW meeting in almost any town you went to. I think the reason for this was that their were very few "diet" foods back then. Diet pop had only in recent years made its debut, but other than that, "diet," "lowfat" and "fat free" were not common words nor were they common foods. The foods eaten on the old program were "real" foods. The program was about eating real life foods and portion control. Portion control in turn taught self control. It really was both a healthier time and a healthier program.

Today Nidetch is still alive at 90. Perhaps that might not be the case without WW. In 1978 she sold WW to the H. J. Heinz company for a very tidy profit I'm sure. Since then, WW has taken on a very different face. What started as a program book, a weekly planner and a scale has turned into a billion dollar enterprise. The program has changed to the point that I doubt Nidetch even recognizes it. WW now has a line of foods, books, multiple programs, workout equipment and all sorts of weight loss bells and whistles to help you lose and manage your weight loss. They even came out with an online program in 2001 for those who don't want to go to the meetings but still want the support. Instead of a few women sitting in a circle supporting each others goals, you now have people from all over the world to cheer you on. My question though.....have all these changes really made it a better program?  

In my book, WW is the only "real" program out there. With all of the weight loss program competition today, WW is the only one that in my opinion teaches you how to eat and lose weight in the real world. While it can get pretty pricey if you buy all the books, equipment and extra's that they pull out at every meeting, if you stick to the basics and just go to the meetings, it is one of the most reasonable programs available. The program consists of real foods that you can make and manage yourself which means you aren't paying for prepackaged food and you are eating things you actually like, know where they came from and how they were prepared. Of course for those who like prepackaged, WW has those too. The key to the program though is two fold. First the meetings. They keep you accountable and give you support for both the good and the not so good weeks, and second and possibly more important, you must still write down every mouthful of food you eat. This makes you aware of what you are eating, when you are eating and sometimes even....why you are eating. It is simply another way to hold yourself accountable and keep yourself aware of what you are putting into your body. As Dr. Phil always says...."You can't change what you don't acknowledge," and with WW you have no choice but to acknowledge.

So why all the talk about WW? Because I am thinking I might just go old school.....1970's style. Stay tuned!

Marijuana and Seizures

Since this blog is about health and wellness, I am going to talk about something a little different this week. I am going to talk about pot! I know there has been controversy over the use of this substance for years and currently in my state (Kansas) it is still illegal.

Personally, as a recreational substance....I am not a fan. I have debated, argued and had down right fights with family and friends over this drug and my view of the drug of its recreational use. Now I am not a hypocrite. I did try weed when I was young. For me, it never did anything but make me sick. To this day, I can smell weed on someone and it will immediately give me a headache and make me nauseous. My reaction to it though is not why I am not on the weed bandwagon. My reasons come from what I have seen it do to people personally. I have a couple of friends who are now my age and started smoking in high school. For them it was not a passing phase. For them it became a lifestyle choice that has affected their lives all these years. One has kept and maintained the same job all these years because he works in a place where they all smoke weed. He smokes before he goes to work and the second he gets off work, he heads straight home to spend the evening......with just he and his bong. He doesn't date, he doesn't go out and the only friends he has are his pot buddies who on occasion come to his house and get high with him. He turned 50 this year and one time when he was not high, he told me that he hated his life because he was so lonely. When I suggested he give up weed and get out in the world, he became very angry with me. We haven't spoken since.

Another friend who started in high school....just to be social, also has never stopped. She has lost marriages, her kids and jobs....all because of weed and what it has done to her. She has been in and out of the courts and jail due to drug charges, she has used money that was suppose to go to bills and the house payment to buy weed and random drug tests have caused her to get suspended or  lose jobs. It has been thirty years of this and still she chooses weed over everything else. And they say it is not addictive. 

I have had other run ins with weed and people I care about. It changes their attitudes, their incentive and their ambition if they use it regularly and the sad thing is.....they simply don't see it. They deny to the end that it affects them and make excuses for the fact that one day they wake up and the only friends they have left are their pot buddies, they can't hold a job for more than five minutes and they don't have the ambition to get off the couch. They go into defense mode and defend the new love of their life weed and get beyond angry if you don't both see their view and agree with it. Eventually, weed becomes the barrier between them and the rest of the world and they never see it.

While I could go on for days and pages about what I know to be true about weed, I know there are going to be those out there that take offense and become defensive over just reading this. Let's suffice it to say that I don't think pot should be legalized for a lot of reasons and because of the above personal experiences, I don't see that ever changing. That being said though, I do feel differently about medical marijuana(mm).

I know that mm has been used by people with cancer going through chemo for sometime now. It is my understanding that it helps the pain and other side effects caused by both the cancer and the chemo. My interest in mm though was peaked when I started hearing about cannabis being used to help seizures. I had been hearing about it for awhile and after the first of the year when my son David's seizures had come back with a vengeance, a facebook friend of mine was asking me if I had heard all of the advances they were making with the use of mm on seizure disorders. I decided to start doing some research.

I learned that there are different strains of cannabis and the strain that is used in mm to help seizures is cannabidiol. This strain has a non-psychoactive ingredient that targets the brain without making the user high. The mm can be given in pill form, liquid form or in edibles such as brownies, cookies and candy for kids. The research showed that there was great promise with mm and seizure reduction in epileptics and people with all kinds of seizures. Learning this, I decided to go to the people I consider experts in the field. So the last time David had a neurology appointment, I cornered the physician assistant and asked about mm. I was surprised at what I learned. According to her, mm is currently being tested on seizure patients as a last ditch effort, meaning patients who have been tried on a whole cocktail of different seizure medications and still have found no relief from their seizures. What they have found is that cannabis does in fact give these patients relief from their seizures and in many cases makes them seizure free.

The possibilities behind mm helping and even saving lives in seizure patients are endless and amazing. Even in those like David, who have their seizures controlled by medication, the side effects can still be awful. They can cause extreme drowsiness, weight loss, weight gain and aggression just to hit the tip of the ice berg. Apparently cannabidiol has none of these side effects. Currently though, if a patient has seizures controlled by medication, they won't even consider putting them in a trial for mm. Right now it is only for those who can't be helped any other way. That is why several that I know who suffer from seizures are making the trek west to Colorado and self medicating that way. It is not the safest route to go, but to them it is better than continuing to suffer and quite honestly.....I can't fault them a bit.

Please don't get me wrong. I think cannabis has great possibilities in the medical world. I have also read that not only is it helpful with chemo and seizures, but it is looking like it could help eradicate certain cancers in time. No...I would not support the legalization of pot for recreational use (go ahead and say what you want about me) but if it ever became legal in Kansas for mm to fight seizures, you can bet....I would have David at the head of the line!

Put it Down, Look Up and Move

There are some fundamental steps required to change your life, whether it be losing weight, exercising or simply getting your life organized. Each requires the exact same first step.....getting up and getting started! 

I saw a video today that was the catalyst for this particular blog piece. It was about the fact that each of us is given only so many days, minutes and seconds in this life and from the second we are conceived, those moments start ticking down. We should be making the most of each, but instead we are being swallowed up by cell phones, computers and video games. We are short changing ourselves and our precious moments of life by replacing the real with the virtual. It really hit home in a fundamental way to me. 

While technology such as workout apps, Weight Watchers apps and even organizational apps can accessorize our lives, it seems like technology itself has taken over and overwhelmed our lives. I never go anywhere without my cell phone and on the rare occasion when I do happen to forget it...I almost go into panic mode. It has become a part of me and the very thing I use to educate myself, entertain myself and more importantly pull myself into a lazy and anti-social abyss. 

If you think about it...if there were no TV's, computers, video games or cell phones, what would we do? We certainly wouldn't sit on the couch with a bag of chips and stare at a blank wall nor would we be bleary eyed and semi-coherent after staying up all night trying to achieve the next level on some overly violent video game. We would no longer have 1,000+ "virtual" friends so we would actually have to go out and socialize. No more would we sit in the same room with and ignore our real friends while we madly texted to our virtual ones how much fun we were having. I've seen this done time and again and what is worse is that I myself have done it. 

I won't go so far as to say that technology has made us fat and unhealthy, but I will say that because of technology, many of us have chosen to live in a virtual world instead of getting up and living in the "real" one.... complete with actual movement and real friends. We have basically allowed technology to overstep its bounds and in some ways....rule our lives. I mean, if you think about it, without technology there would be a lot less identity theft, catfishing would be non-existent and there would be no cyber bullying. People would actually pay attention to their kids and spouses, there would be a lot less accidents as people would pay more attention while driving and not worry about texting or talking on the phone and kids would be playing kick-the-can outside by street light instead of Assassins Creed planted firmly on the couch in the basement not moving for hours. And don't get me wrong. I don't blame technology itself. I blame people (myself included) for allowing technology to take such a hold on us. We gave ourselves to technology....body, mind and in many cases....soul. Quite frankly.....it is an overwhelming thought when you stop and wonder just how many moments have I missed or lost because my face was stuck in technology? In a way, it is almost too sad to actually comprehend. 

So do you want to change your life? Do you want to lose the weight, gain back your health, get organized and more importantly.....take back your life? Then take that first fundamental step and get up! Put down the cell phone. Turn off the TV, the video games and the computer and GET UP! GO to the gym! GET UP and join a walking group! MOVE and organize! And if your goal is to simply have a happier life....face the real world one on one and give the virtual one a much needed rest. 

In case your are wondering about the video.....here it is. It is well worth those virtual moments to watch it!

Oh Diet Mt. Dew....I DO Love You (An oldy but a goody)

Celery Girl here! So today I am crunched for time. I was going to talk about one of my many vices.....diet soda. Well, diet Mt Dew to be exact. I could literally write pages about this particular vice, but I really don't have that kind of time. Then it dawned on me, I think I have been down this road before. I went through the archives and sure enough, there was more than one ode to my favorite vice. Imagine that!

So I decided to grab an oldy but a goody and share. From February 9, 2011, I give you....Oh Diet Mt. Dew...I DO Love You! I hope you enjoy reading about my struggle! (wink)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Oh Diet Mt. Dew.....I DO Love You!

Well it has been 3 days since my mammogram and still no word. I will admit that I am in a crappy mood. There are many reasons for this mood but mainly I hate coming face to face with the facts about my health and my own mortality. Yeah I know, none of us gets out alive, but some of us push our health to the limits.

In my younger, wilder days I will admit that I liked to drink a bit, and for about 30 minutes I smoked, but I never did drugs and once I realized that smelling like an ashtray was anything but sexy....I never touched another cigarette. Basically since the mid 90's, my drug of choice has been food but only since about 2003 has it been a vice. Probably though, my worst addiction is diet soda. Yes, we will call it an addiction because truthfully....it is. I literally crave it. Yes, I have heard the studies that it can cause cancer, and then the ones that say you would have to drink a case a day for it to do so. I have heard that it actually stimulates appetite rather than curb it, but today was the kicker. My mother in law called to tell me that my most favorite beverage has now been linked to heart attack and stroke. WHY?????????? Why did she have to call and tell me? Why couldn't she have kept that little tid bit to herself?????

Fine! I know that anything with as much artificial junk in it as diet pop cannot really be good for me, but come on.....I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or basically have fun of any kind, so can't you give me diet soda? Apparently the answer is.....only if I want to die of either cancer, a heart attack or a stroke. Where is the justice????

Logically, which I am not fond of logic, diet soda has many draw backs. It is as I stated above, loaded with artificial additives that apparently kill small lab rodents when they ingest 60 times their body weight. It is also expensive and I do tend to believe that it doesn't do much to deter the appetite when you see people order a double whopper, large fries and oh....lets not forget the diet soda. Even I am not so delusional as to think the zero calories in the diet pop are going to magically cancel out the 2000+ calories in the rest of the meal. Nor do I think after drinking the diet soda that I am no longer going to be hungry for the rest of the high calorie meal. But I LOVE diet soda. Most especially.....Diet Mt. Dew. It has been an ongoing love affair for many years and the few times that I have walked away from the Dew, it has always graciously taken me back when I realized the error of my ways. Now I am thinking that maybe this delicious Dew is just evil in disguise. Maybe it is time once again, to say goodbye to the Dew.

So here's the deal. I am not foolish enough to say I am going cold turkey because we all know that would be a lie. Starting tomorrow (my weigh in day) I am going to start tapering back. I will limit myself to only one a day and then every other day and so on until I run out at home. Then I will buy no more. I want to go for one full month without a diet pop of any kind and I want to see if I feel any different. They say the artificial sweetener can cause headaches, body pains, etc (but then again,...so does being over 40) so we shall see.

Regardless of the results, will I ever be diet soda free? Who knows but I do like tea and I drink a lot of water, so the tapering off while not fun, should not have me sitting on top of tall buildings aiming my sling shot at unsuspecting passerby's below. After all., the whole point of this year is to have a positive life style change and honestly diet soda is probably not one of the more healthy things I put in my body, so why not at least give the change a try?


Okay....so I have drank almost a whole 20 oz. diet Mt. Dew as I wrote this and I am really trying to feel guilty but it is just not there. I will however make tomorrow a starting point. I still feel crappy, I still don't know my mammogram results and I am still not happy about my mother in laws latest news flash, but I guess all this too shall pass.


So here's to more water, less soda and a healthier tomorrow. This is all a good thing....right?!