Some of the Things I Like About THM

My apologies to any Trim Healthy Mama pages that I might have offended or broken their rules with my last blog about the challenge I was doing. It was not my intention and I promise to be more careful going forward.

Getting back on the old THM horse has been really good for me. Even though it has only been a few days, I can tell I am feeling better and I haven't had a flair up of acid reflux at all. That in itself is a blessing.

And before we go any further, let me just say how much I LOVE the THM mantra....Keep it simple, keep it sane. How great is that? This has been my emerging plan for my life for awhile, but then to find it in my eating program too....how could I possibly align myself with any other eating plan?

Now moving on....since it is a new year and many are just beginning THM for the first time, I thought I would share a few things that I personally have learned about THM. Many beginners start out very curious about Good Girl Moonshine and it seems when people try it for the first time there are often mixed reviews. Something I have learned about eating (and drinking) the THM way is that our taste buds seem to change while on plan(for the better) and more importantly, everything can be adjusted to our own individual taste. I was always a Diet Mt. Dew girl. I drank tons of it. The first GGMS I ever tried was one I saw on Pinterest which I believe was called something like "Just Like Mt. Dew". This drink totally saved me when coming off of my long and faithful addiction to the Dew. I know that many are thrown by the apple cider vinegar, but trust me, after a while, you won't be able to drink a GGMS without it...and even better, soda's and diet soda's simply won't taste right to you anymore. At least that is how it has worked out for me.

Another tried and true THM drink, The Singing Canary, is something I can't live without. It also is an acquired taste but in the summertime there is something so thirst quenching about it and in the winter, it helps to keep my immune system boosted and keep me healthy. It has become a drink that I drink at least three times per week year round and the health benefits are worth every sip.

Tumeric (yes the spice) has become one of my daily go to's. I had actually started adding tumeric back into my diet several weeks ago, as I was having a lot of pain in my back and shoulders. I had done a lot of reading and found that it can really help with muscle and joint inflammation and pain. My Singing Canary calls for tumeric, but I have also started adding it to different dishes I make and then before bed, I have a cup of tumeric tea. I have noticed that my back and especially my shoulders are much better.

The one draw back I find to living the THM life is that I spend a great deal of time in the kitchen both cooking and cleaning up. I do a lot of dishes every day and find myself very grateful for my dishwasher. On the upside of things, spending all that time cooking, I know how every dish I make is prepared and I know the exact ingredients of everything. It is much healthier for all of us and there is no worry that unhealthy or allergy causing agents will be in our food.

One absolute huge positive of doing the THM program is that my grocery bill has actually gone down. When I knew that I was going to be back on THM, I went to the THM website and purchased a large size protein powder, gentle sweet, super sweet and baking blend. Those I knew would be staples I needed to always have on hand. Now, I just make a weekly menu with recipes from the THM books and from Pinterest and then I buy only the things I need for that week. Gone are the shopping carts full of junk food, processed foods, frozen meals and soda. I make a list, stick to it and I shop at Aldi and Walmart. My grocery bill now stays much lower and we have little to no waste because I am not buying large quantities. It has been working out really well.

The advantages and benefits of doing THM,  far outweigh having to do a little more cooking or a few extra dishes. In fact, I personally find that it makes me much more aware of what I am putting into my body and how those foods are affecting it. Eating right and avoiding all the sugar has helped me to cut down on my migraines and I don't feel the bloat and discomfort that is often felt with overeating or by just simply eating the wrong foods. I walk away from the table feeling full and although snacks are encouraged because we eat every three hours, I often find snacks difficult, as I am not hungry enough for a snack when that time rolls around.

If you are new to THM and just starting to get your feet wet, I highly suggest that even if you can't be on plan 100% of the time, that you try to stay on at least 50% and gradually allow the unhealthy foods like sugars to slowly fall out of your daily intake. I know that if you stick with it, you will be glad you did.

Well, I am off to have a breakfast of THM pancakes and my Singing Canary. Hope you all have a fabulous day.

Until next time............

Short and Sweet

As of today.....I have lost 25.6 lbs since May 15th! This week I lost just shy of another 2 lbs!

Today's blog is short and sweet. May 14th, just a few weeks ago, I was convinced that I could NOT lose weight. I was absolutely sure that I was destined to be overweight, sluggish, unmotivated and unhealthy for the rest of my life. I hated getting out of bed in the morning. I hated looking at myself in the mirror and I hated going anywhere because I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. It was not a life I was happy about, but it was the life I deserved as no one forced fast food and candy down my throat and everyday that I did nothing about it.....well that was a choice.

May 15th, literally changed my life. It was the day I opened up the THM cookbook and decided that I was going to prove to myself once and for all that I deserved better. I have stayed committed for all these weeks and as I felt better and started looking better, I refused to allow myself to stray....not even for a jelly bean. Today I have renewed energy, motivation and I feel oh so much better in my own skin.

I am far from finished on this journey. I have a lot more weight to lose, but each 10th of a pound means that I am that much closer to my goal and totally regaining my health.

So my message to each of you is......don't give up on you!!!! Make the choice that you deserve to be healthy and feel good about you. Remember that you are worth it and that by taking care of you, then you will better be able to take care of those you love.

I told you....short and sweet! :)

Perfection is Not Required

Perfection! The elusive dream that has stopped many a diet and lifestyle change, dead in its tracks. Why? Because we are human beings and sometimes as human beings we can be down right ridiculous.

Last I knew, there was only one perfect Person and none of us are Him. We strive to be our best in His image, but as faulty human beings, that is as close as we will ever come. That being said, it is this lack of imperfection that constantly pushes us, gives us life lessons and helps us to become the "imperfect" people we are suppose to be.

So if all of this is true, then why when it comes to weight loss and a healthy lifestyle, do we put the expectation of perfection on ourselves and make it  "do or die" if we fail in that perfection? Think about it. If you forget to wash laundry and everyone is out of underwear, yeah....it's a bit of setback for all involved, but do you never do laundry again because of that setback or do you forgive the situation and move forward? What if you forget to put gas in the car and you run out on your way to the store? Again, do you never drive, put gas in your car or go to the store again? OR do you just chalk it up to being a busy fallible human, who made a mistake? Of course you forgive yourself and move forward. So why can't we approach our fallibility during a lifestyle change and weight loss with the same forgiving nature. Why must a setback=a fail=a complete falling off the wagon? 

If we are honest without ourselves, we did not put weight on over night. For most of us, it has been a years long, dedicated effort. So if it took you six years and two pregnancies to put on 75 pounds, why would you possibly expect that weight to come off in a week, month or even six months?

Somewhere in our imperfect human brains, we believe that if the weight doesn't fall off over night and if we don't give complete and total perfection to our food plan and in turn the scales don't give us the reflection of that perfection then somehow we have failed (or the plan has failed us) and therefore we should just give up and eat cake.....and candy.....and a triple burger.....and an entire cheesecake....and on and on and on. This is our mind working against our body and often, that kind of mixed up sense of who we should be and how we should be doing things is what makes us our own worst enemy and our own biggest road block to success.

Weight loss and change will not happen until we are ready for it to happen....body, mind and spirit. Until that day when we know in the deepest part of us that we are ready for it, we will set ourselves up to fail and expect perfection out of an imperfect vessel. We will remain frustrated and unhappy with ourselves and continue to go down the path of unhealthy foods and eventually health issues brought on by our unhealthy habits. Sometimes it takes years of trying, failing and beating yourself up before you hit that magical place where you suddenly realized that weight loss is not a sprint to the finish line, but rather a slow and steady pace that leads you over rocky terrain, tough obstacles and even through some trying setbacks, but regardless.....you keep picking yourself up and moving forward. Always forward. The day when you finally realize that perfection is not necessary, only a belief in yourself, faith that you have the strength to finally love you enough to make a change and determination to see it through......regardless of what gets thrown in your path.....that is the day that you will begin to see real change.  

I hit that point on May 15, 2016 and the funny thing is, I didn't really know it at the time. All I knew was that I was tired of feeling like crap, feeling like I looked like crap and making myself miserable because I kept telling myself "I can't!" I decided that day to prove to myself once and for all that either I could lose weight and be healthy if I did what I was suppose to, or I would finally resign myself to being over weight, unhealthy and chances are.....ending up with some disease or illness brought on by the fact that I didn't care enough about myself to take care of myself.

Here we are a month later and I am still in the middle of the Spring Fling Challenge. I haven't veered from the plan once and trust me, this last week was a test of my fortitude. Along with my body, my home life is also changing. My world is very fluid right now and sometimes as a mom, caretaker, friend, etc. it gets overwhelming. I have become very well  aware of my triggers that throw me into a cheesecake frenzy or have me trying to buy Twinkies off the neighbohodr kids. I am learning to channel those triggers into more healthy outlets such as walking and praying. Yes....I pray a lot! It all seems to be working because even at my lowest point this last week, I stayed on plan and refused to allow myself to wallow, make excuses or quit. I have learned a lot of lessons about myself in this process and especially in the last seven days.

My reward for staying strong was a lower number on the scale. I am now in a place I haven't been in several years. I have also been enjoying some NSV's (non scale victories), from clothes fitting better, to my face thinning out. The biggest one this week though was.....I can comfortably cross my legs now!!!! It is amazing how much appreciation I have for the little things that come with this process.

No....I am not perfect on THM. There are meals that I know I probably eat more than I should, but I am hungry and I am eating on plan. I don't always exercise as I should and yes....as I said above, there are times when I think, "Wouldn't a burger, fries and shake be amazing right now?" That is when I decide whether I choose "me" or food. Whichever way I go, I know that three hours later I am back on track, but now I am choosing me. So I eat a burger wrapped in lettuce, some fried radishes and a cheesecake smoothie and I am taking care of me......without the slightest bit of deprivation!

So today is day 29. I have 18 days left. I don't plan on perfection whatsoever during these next 18 days, but I do plan on caring about myself enough to see this challenge through and hopefully within that time period, I pull a couple of more good numbers going south. Whatever happens though, I think I know me a little better now and know above all else....I deserve this!  And secure in this knowledge I am absolutely sure of one thing......perfection is not required! 

This Girl Loves Her Moonshine!

So if you are on Facebook, then I am sure you have at least seen one of the many, many, many Trim Healthy Mama (THM) pages. There are beginner pages, over fifty pages and budget friendly THM pages, just to name a few. In the last two years, the THM phenomenon has grown beyond belief. In fact, some of the items that most of us had previously never heard of before THM, are now normal local fare at our grocery stores. I mean come on...if someone had ever told me that I would get to the point that I couldn't drink a drink without apple cider vinegar(ACV) in it, I would have laughed in their face.

Pinterest is another site that has literally blossomed with THM products, idea and recipes. Bloggers too, have gotten on the band wagon. There are several amazing blogs out there where domestic goddesses with many more skills than I have, spend their days taking recipes and making them THM on plan friendly. Then they blog and put them out there so those of us less culinarily fortunate can gain from their wisdom. God bless them as they have literally expanded my weekly menus a thousand fold. My family thanks you too.

And speaking of THM Facebook pages, I'll admit that I too got on the bandwagon and started one. It was a while back when I was just beginning to scratch the surface of the benefits of a THM life. Even then with my minuscule bit of knowledge, I knew that this food style could and would change a lot of lives, so I started THM for US 2015. It was basically for those close to me personally and geographically. I felt that by keeping it small and framilial (get it...friend and familial....yeah I'm good with words like that) that those of us involved might have each other to learn from and stay on this plan with. It has stayed fairly small, growing with just a few people here and there and even a bit outside my friends and family since I started it back in Jan. of 2015. It is a cozy, comfortable place to share recipes, ideas, goals, victories and yes.....questions. It has also become a bigger part of my life in 2016 than I ever dreamed it would be. In the last few months, two of my children have developed food related health issues. It just so happens that THM is the answer to their issues with high protein, good fats and gluten free foods. You can say that in my house....THM is now a family affair.

I think the biggest and scariest (yes....scariest) thing about THM is that everything you thought you knew about weight loss, food and health are pretty much thrown out the window. You have to learn a whole new set of rules, which come to find out, aren't so new. Many of the THM precepts are things our parents, grandparents and great grandparents lived by. Unfortunately, society has taught us that fat free is healthier than butter, coconut oil or olive oil, that fake sweeteners are healthy and that prepackaged is better than home made. Trust me, I could go on for days about all of this, and at some point I probably will.

Today though, I want to get back to the Facebook page and questions. The question that people ask not only me, but I see it on other pages too, is about Good Girl Moonshine (GGMS). What a name....right?! I know the first time I heard it, I couldn't imagine what it might be and then, after I heard what was in it.....my first thought, which I may or may not have said out loud was"Oh HELL NO!"

The issue was that I was drinking way too much diet soda and I and everyone else knew it. A friend approached me and told me I really needed to stop drinking so much and then she talked about GGMS. She was lucky we were really good friends, because with anyone else, a conversation like that could have ended badly. However, I did start reading up on this apple cider vinegar (ACV) based concoction and what I was reading was that people that were making no other change than just drinking GGMS, were losing weight and feeling better.

So.....I knew I needed to cut back and actually cut out the diet soda, but I didn't want to! I continued to fight the change, until I ran across a GGMS recipe that said it tasted just like Mt. Dew. I tried it and you know what.....it did! I had a soda replacement that had no chemicals, no chemically enhanced artificial sweeteners and was healthy. Okay....maybe I would cut back after all. I found that the more I drank of this ACV laced faux-soda, the more ACV I wanted to add.

Okay, so if you are not a THM convert, possible convert or if you have been in a social media blackout, then you maybe wondering.....just what is GGMS? Well let me tell you.

GGMS starts with ACV. I suggest if you are just trying it out, only add about a tsp. Ginger is also an ingredient in most GGMS as well as your favorite on plan sweetener. My favorite is Skinny Girl Stevia. It is liquid and you can squirt to your desired taste. Here is where I suggest you go slow. Use a few squirts and test it. Not sweet enough? Then add a little more. You don't want to over power your drink and make it too sweet. After that,  you can add any flavor you like.

Now when I say "flavor" I mean extracts that you buy in the baking section of your grocery store. Add caramel and you have a more coke/pepsi like flavor, lemon and lime juice give you you a Mt. Dew flavor and ginger powder or root, gives you a ginger ale type drink. You can also add orange, strawberry, raspberry or a mixture of flavors. Pinterest is full of GGMS recipes and I eventually plan to try them all.

After you have flavored it to your liking, then you add your water. Now you can add just plain flat or tap water and ice and it tastes just fine. In fact some people prefer it that way. However......in order for me to kick soda......I had to have something that was more than just fine, so I started out adding calorie free bottled carbonated water. It had zero everything...BUT, it was also anywhere from $1-$2 for a 24 oz bottle. As much of this stuff as a I drink, I was going broke. Luckily, I found a Soda Stream at a garage sale for $5 and I never looked back. Yes, the carbonation refill is $30, but it lasts about 6 weeks. It is well worth the money. It is truly one of my favorite kitchen  devices.

So GGMS? Does it work? Well you decide. If you are a reg. soda drinker and it helps you kick that habit, then think of all the sugar and additives that you are cleansing your body of....not to mention calories. In a 12 oz can of soda you are drinking 140 empty calories and ingesting 39 g of carbs, 39 g of sugar, high fructose corn syrup and "natural flavors" which is code for more crap your body doesn't need and likely shouldn't have. Now that is just one can. Who stops at one 12 oz can per day?

If you are trading say a Diet Mt. Dew for GGMS, then no, there are no calories, but there is 50 mg of sodium along with things like: Aspartame, Potassium Benzoate, Potassium Citrate, Sucralose and Bromated Vegetable Oil. Vegetable oil? Really? Also you have more of those hidden "natural flavors" too. Diet sodas have also been proven to cause sugar cravings instead of curb them and Aspartame is known to cause headaches and other physical reactions because it is a chemically enhanced sweetener. 

Now GGMS. It has no calories, no carbs, it has natural stevia which has no chemical fillers and won't mess with blood sugar and best of all.....you know exactly what "natural flavors" are in it because you add them yourself. So....losing at least 140 empty sugary calories per day, unhealthy chemicals and sugar cravings, all while you are adding good and healthful things to your body such as  ACV and ginger? You tell me....does it work? It does. 

So I challenge you soda drinkers who just can't quite kick the habit. For one week, try adding one GGMS to your day and getting rid of one soda/diet soda. Play around with different flavors and find a flavor you can make your own. I bet that by the end of the week, you will start wanting to drink more GGMS and a whole lot less soda. What's the worst that can happen? Your jeans fit a little looser? You feel a little better? Maybe you have less headaches? Trust me, you will see a difference. 

Again....I could go on and on, but instead....I think I will leave you with my current favorite GGMS recipe. Til next time.....Happy Drinking!

GGMS Lemon Ginger Ale

2 inch piece of Ginger Root (grated)
1-2 cups water
2 T ACV (use less until you get used to it)
2 T lemon juice
Skinny Girl Stevia to your taste
Carbonated water

Take your grated ginger root and add it to the 1-2 cups of water. Bring it to a boil and then turn it down to simmer for 3-5 min. Let it cool. Once cool use a fine mesh strainer and strain the liquid into a mason jar with a lid and keep it in the fridge. This is your "ginger juice" concentrate. When you are ready to make your GGMS: 

Pour 1/4 to 1/2 c of ginger juice into a glass 32 oz mason jar. The ginger has a spicey bite so you may want to start out with 1/4 c. Add everything but the carbonated water and stir. Then fill to the top with the carbonated water and ice! Mmmmm....Enjoy!

Trim Healthy Mama.....Perhaps!

So it has been awhile. Someone mentioned this blog to me the other day and asked if I were going to ever blog on it again. I said, perhaps! That is me speak for....perhaps! Then I went on with my life.

Today, I sit contemplating health. My fathers, my children and my own. We only get one body and anymore, it is becoming evident that we can't just put anything into our bodies. My father is living proof of this at 86. He hasn't taken care of his body and now his body is starting to fail him.There are just too many chemicals and food related illness and allergies out there, so we MUST treat our bodies as the temples they are, and not just a dumping ground for CRAP! (Pardon my French)

Last time I blogged here, I was talking about Trim Healthy Mama or THM. I was a fan because a friend of mine was a devoted follower and because of her devotion and hard work had lost about 60 pounds, looked about 20 years younger and was astronomically healthier. She was a poster child for how to do it right.

I actually got on board and had success, until I didn't. The success didn't end because of a faulty plan, but because of a faulty me. Yeah, that is usually why plans don't work for me. I get distracted, lazy or....and this is a huge one.....I tell myself that I am healthy enough! Healthy enough. Is that even a real thing? Can you just be healthy enough? And what happens when your body disagrees? My body in the last year was disagreeing loudly as I had developed other health issues that diet could easily help IF I would just admit that I had them. I am a stubborn old broad!

Then a couple of months ago, I learned that my youngest son who is special needs was growing severely underweight. It was preventing him from having good muscle growth and was thus impeding almost everything about his health. It wasn't that he wasn't eating, it was simply that he wasn't eating the right things. I was putting way too many processed and fast food items into our diet. He was getting the wrong kind of fats, too many chemicals and with his metabolism, he was burning what little muscle he had. It terrified me. That was when I realized that if I didn't care enough about my own body to feed it right, then I MUST care about my child. And trust me.....I do!

I began looking at the THM plan closer. I went back to THM because the foods on the plan are healthy fats, no grains, no sugar and lots of fruits, veggies and mostly lean meats. Processed and packaged foods are a big NO NO! One of my favorite things is their smoothies. All begin with a cottage cheese base (don't make that face), natural flavors or fruits, almond milk and per doctors instructions for David.....Muscle Milk protein powder. I began starting Davids days with a smoothie with added ingredients of bananas, peanut butter or avocado. I also began making sure that instead of three large daily meals, he was having 5-6 smaller daily meals. His meals had healthy proteins such a eggs, peanut butter and lean meats, healthy fats such as coconut oil, butter and avocado and lots and lots of healthy fruits and veggies. Within a month he was almost to normal weight and his activity level had tripled. He was also building and using his muscles much better. It was like night and day difference.

If all that weren't enough to make me a lifetime member of THM, my middle son was diagnosed with celiac disease. It is an intestinal/stomach disease which is brought on by an allergy to gluten. Sadly, gluten is in many processed foods and in Z's case. even small amounts of gluten were making him terribly sick.

Celiac is a nasty condition which makes it so you can never be far from a bathroom. You are constantly having stomach issues and some days you feel so horrible that you have no real quality of life. It is exhausting and truly takes a toll on a person. It also opens them up to other issues such as rheumatoid arthritis, rheynods and ulcers leading to cancers. It is under the auto-immune umbrella of diseases which run rampant in our family.

Once we had a firm diagnosis, I then began researching the disease and looking at the foods that he could and couldn't eat. Funny thing.....my research brought me right back to THM. While THM is a great plan for an all around healthier life style and awesome for those who have diabetic issues, it also happens to be right on target for those with gluten allergies and/or celiac disease.

THM works very well for those with gluten issues as there are almost no grains used on the plan. The flours used are mostly almond, coconut and flax. There are some oatmeal flour recipes but those can be replaced with the other flours or with gluten free oatmeal flour. Since there are almost no processed foods and an emphasis on fruits, veggies and lean meats....it is a dream for those suffering with gluten issues. Within a week of eating THM, Z could already see a huge difference in how he felt and how his body was reacting to food. While not a complete convert to this new way of eating, he is much more open to trying new THM foods, especially when he is finding that gluten free packaged foods are not all that tasty.

Well...now I'm back. Actually.....now I can never turn back. My kids will forever have to eat the THM way for their health and I am quickly learning what my friend tried to teach me with her success. It's not really about the weight loss, although feeling comfortable in your own skin is definitely a plus. No....it is more about feeling comfortable in your own body. There is something very gratifying about knowing that your body is taking in and processing food properly and that the foods you are putting in your body are not only nourishing it, but also making it function to its full potential in every way, from how you sleep at night to the energy you have day to day. You also learn to listen to your body. Trust me, it will tell you when things aren't right.

So yeah....THM! It is a workable plan regardless of why you work it. It is ever evolving and since my last post, the THM ladies have put out a new cookbook with easy to follow recipes that will please the palette of even the pickiest members of your family. A bonus is that there are those food bloggers out there who have made converting regular recipes to THM recipes their main goal in life. This means there are no end of delicious meals, desserts and snacks right at your fingertips.

I hope with my entire family now on the THM train, to post a few more blogs about our progress, the pros and cons (if any) to our new lifestyle change. Does this mean, that I'm back and this blog will be getting some love again? Perhaps!

The Metamorphosis of Marni

Celery Girl here!!! So since this blog is about change in all ways, I thought I would expand my perimeters a bit. Last week you got to hear all about what is going on with me and the start of my change, but I thought you might like to hear about others journey's of change. This week I invited a guest blogger to share her story of change and what it has done to and for her life.

This particular blogger is a high school classmate of mine and has been a dear friend for many years. To look at her and her life, you would never have thought she needed to change a thing, but that is on the outside looking in. On the inside she felt she needed change and she went after it.

The blogger I am referring to is my dear friend Marni Jones. She is housewife, mother, grandmother and friend extraordinaire. There is nothing this woman can't do if she puts her mind to it and quite frankly, her skills in the house, the kitchen and crafting make the rest of us look.....well....down right inferior. Everyone should have a friend like Marni....but you can't have her....'cause she's mine!

All kidding aside, the changes Marni has implemented and the transformation they have caused both inside and out, emotionally and physically are nothing short of amazing. I am so proud of her accomplishments and even prouder to call her friend. So without further ado....I give you The Metamorphosis of Marni.

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The Metamorphosis of Marni 

Change….to become different, or to make someone or something different. Now that is for sure a great word. Yes, it can be scary, but it can also be eye opening not only for yourself, but for those around you. I've never been much for change. In fact, it would totally freak me out when things changed. Maybe that’s from my childhood…..and never really knowing a true normal. A little bit of background on mmmwah. At the ripe old age of 18, I became a wife (to my high school sweetheart) and 3 months later I was well on my way to becoming the mom I dreamed of being. So life was on track for me. I had planned what I wanted and without changing my mind I got it, and let me say….I LOVED it! I was put on this earth to be exactly what I was.

Through the years I never once questioned my life’s decision and honestly, I was having a lot of fun. Now, there were bumps in the road for sure, but I was a happy wife and mom. As my kids grew I encouraged them to be whatever they wanted to be, and I was that wife that encouraged my husband to be the very best he could be, all the while happily basking in the glow of my family, who were quite frankly..... my world. I think like many mothers, I just got lost in family and was happy to stand back in the shade of their successes. I enjoyed watching what they could do and kind of lost myself, forgetting to take care of me. The years flew by and my kids were no longer kids. Just like every other mom out there that throws herself into family life, when the kids grow up its like “Ummm…… what do I do now?” Honestly I was lost. But then this wonderful thing happened. My daughter got pregnant and there I was, taking care of my grandson and a few years later my granddaughter. Again, there I was, doing what I knew best, taking care of others. I was set for a few more years…or so I thought.

One day for some reason I looked at myself and my life. Now mind you I was not unhappy, but I wasn’t totally happy, if that makes any sense. I know that lots won’t get that but I think I was just not totally happy with anything. People choose to make changes for various reasons and I wasn’t happy with ME. I had hit a point where I knew that I could be more than what I was; I just didn’t know what that was. Some of the things I could not control, so I decided to start with something that I could. I did a total lifestyle change and I dropped 60 pounds. Now to listen to my friends, I didn’t need to lose any (I am a tall girl so I hid it well, if I do say so myself) but I needed to FEEL better. So my journey began. Let me say that my life was not horrible before. It really was and still is wonderful, but now as all my family was doing their own thing it was time for me to do “my own thing” too. Trust me it was not easy because I was just so used to doing for others that it was hard to step out of that box and start to think about myself. After all, I had never really put myself first and here I was…. considering doing just that. So before I could over think the whole thing, I just closed my eyes and jumped.

So let me explain one thing about myself…. when I do something, I am ummmmm…… well people say that I become obsessive. I personally call it “dedication” but others do not see it that way. I went head strong into the new way of me! I started with changing my diet. It was just a simple change of eating better and eating less. My workout was the Wii (funny huh?) and walking. After a year of getting healthy I felt amazing! I KNOW during the course of all of this, that I drove people crazy by saying things like, “Oh, this is what I eat, it's so good for you,” or when out shopping with my daughter, I would pick things out that were really good for you and she would just say “Who are you and what did you do with my Mother?” To be blunt, I was a pain in the ass. It worked though, and I have never felt better and honestly, I think I look pretty good for a gal who just turned 50.

Through the process I have harangued my husband into this new “lifestyle” and he has made huge strides too. Our marriage has never been in a better place in EVERY aspect….if you know what I mean!!! (Wink wink) We have been told that we are more like newlyweds now than we were 30 years ago and I love that. We can't seem to walk by each other without hugging, kissing or playfully touching. It is amazing. There is so much energy in our lives and it shows. Here we are rolling into 32 years of marriage and we still enjoy each other’s company and sometimes I believe that I surprise him as I am so much stronger and I am even speaking up for myself.  I know by the look on his face that I both surprise him and make him proud!! This is what this change has brought about.

By choosing to take care of me and through this change, I believe that I have found my voice. I have always been that quiet girl in the corner. There were times that I did speak out, but most of the time…. yeah, NO! Since all of these changes, I seem to feel much more comfortable putting myself out there…more than I ever have before. Nothing scares me anymore. Not speaking up and speaking out is the cross that many who are the do for others, people pleaser types have to bear and with me because I was always that “Yes” friend, it was bad. Whatever someone else wanted to do, I was good with that….whether I really was or not. That was a learned thing from childhood that carried with me into adulthood. People got used to that, so when I started speaking up, I know that a few people were not happy. I just hope that along this process they can see that as I am changing and with the change, I am becoming a better friend to them.

So, as change goes, I do believe that I have made huge strides in the right direction to better myself, my family, my relationships and just my whole life. I KNOW there are some out there that think that you need to change the “inside” first to make this work. For me, it was a process of both. I began changing the “outside” which in turn made me strong enough to be able to change the inside. Each of us is different and our processes are different.  We all do the best that we can through the life we are given and that is what I did. I was the best person that I could be at the time and then life changes and we can choose to change with it or stay in the same place.  I think sometimes we just need to find that one aspect that is holding us back, maybe that one thing that scares us, in order to take that one step in the other direction that will make a huge change and put us on the path to who we are truly meant to be.  I am  still the SAME person I have been,  I just believe that now I am a  BETTER version of that person and I am proud to share me with the world!!!!!  So look out world… here I come!!!!!!!!!!

191.2=3.4