The Next Seven Days

Diets. They are the downfall of my self esteem and all that is good and holy in my life. If you have read this blog before, you will know that in my lifetime, I have tried many different diets/lifestyle changes/implements of torture. All of them work for awhile, but they are all only as good as the user and this user has issues.

The last "diet" I was on, was Trim Healthy Mama (THM). Now don't get me wrong, it is really a good lifestyle and I lost weight on it, but it definitely is not without it's problems. THM is very close to the KETO diet and it has a lot of sound healthy things going on within it. It is really good for people with gluten issues and those who are diabetic. It is a great way to get sugar out of your diet and to get your metabolism going. What it isn't for me is, doable for life. 

Forget that THM has you in the kitchen most of your day because everything is basically made from scratch and they insist that you eat every three hours, but after a year or so, I simply couldn't stomach the food anymore. Perhaps it was the six meals a day....everyday for 365 days or maybe it was just using the same combinations of food and the same seasonings in different ways. I don't know, but after a while, I just simply could not eat the main course meals anymore. I have talked to others who were also THM converts and they too had similar complaints, so it wasn't just me and my inner rebellion against diets.

It has been six years since I first started it, and although I have gone back and restarted several times, after the last time, my body just refused to try again. I literally started getting sick at the smell and the taste. That is not to say though, that I didn't learn a lot from the program and that it didn't leave some positives in my life.

First of all, I totally gave up diet Mt. Dew. That was an expensive blessing that I wasn't sad to see go. I also learned a bit about my metabolism. I found my new favorite drink that is actually healthy. I really did learn a new appreciation and love for cooking and I learned about some Vitamin C based drinks that truly help to ward off illness during the cold and flu season. There are a lot of other positives that came from the experience, but just like with any healthy eating venture, if you quit doing it, it quits working.

This year for me, like for many of us, has been a challenge so far. Between the mental and the physical along with the constant upheavals locally and all around, it has been really hard for me to find balance. I am a huge feelings eater and lawdy have I had feelings! I have also gone through trying prescribed diet pills (yes, I was that up in my feelings) as well as having all of my upper teeth pulled and getting dentures that are still a work in progress. It has been months of ups and downs both in life and my weight. Add in some emotionally heavy and very dramatic situations that have hit very close to home and my heart and I am what the text books would call....a freaking mess.

So in the last couple of weeks, I have done a bit of thinking about where I am at and where I actually want to be. The two seem miles a part at this point. Would I like my thighs not to rub together when it's 90 degrees out? You betcha, but more than that, I would like to be healthy both physically and mentally and if my years have taught me nothing, it is that the two go hand in hand. You really need a balance of both to be truly healthy. That is when I decided to get real with myself and form a plan. As many diets as I have been on, I know that "a diet" or anything even remotely referencing "a diet" is not going to work for me. I also know that diet pills prescribed or otherwise, aren't the answer either. I felt like total crap the whole time I was on them. So if neither of those are the answer...then what is? Truthfully, I don't know, but I do know that I have enough knowledge on the subject thanks to THM, that I can sort of point myself in the right direction.

I actually do have a new found love of cooking and not just cooking, but the whole cooking from scratch thing. I learned from THM, the value and importance of knowing exactly what goes into your food. The extra additives in boxed or prepared foods are not only unhealthy but can also be part of why it is hard to lose weight. I have also gotten more adventurous in the last few months and started trying new foods and recipes. I'm actually not a horrible cook. Who knew? With all of this cooking though, there has also been a fair amount of eating going on too. So how do I cook the foods I want to and eat the foods I cook and not outgrow everything in my closet? After doing quite a bit of reading...and a few tips from THM....the key seems to be portion control and trying not to eat a lot of carbs and fats together. The concept for me is a work in progress but it does make me more conscious about what I cook and how I put foods together.

Of course as we all know, losing weight or more importantly....being healthy, is not just about what we put into our bodies. It is also about how we treat our bodies. Inactivity is unhealthy in any body regardless of size. Our bodies need movement to keep muscles and joints supple and working, They need exercise to properly oxygenate our organs and keep them functioning to the best of their ability. A sedentary body is a body ripe for injury, illness and mental health issues. It's true. The more active you are, the better off you are both mentally and physically. The only problem here is that I am not a huge fan of exercise. I really had to weigh (no pun intended) my huge love of eating over my huge dislike of exercise. The result? Balance. I can actually have my cake and eat it too, if I am willing to throw a workout or two in the mix to balance it out. Oh the sacrifices we make for love....of food.

When I began talking with myself about exercise, a million reasons why exercise did not fit into my life, started to bloom in my garden of excuses. Honestly, my life is pretty non-stop busy from the time my feet hit the floor until I go to bed, especially with David, the grand kids, the house, the laundry, the cooking and the yard. I stay pretty active all day, but there is active and then there is healthy exercise active. Since there are only so many hours in the day, I decided that the best way for me to get exercise in, is to combine it with my already busy household routines. To start with, on the days when I mow and workout in the yard, there is already some healthy activity going on there and if we are counting steps, by the time the yard is finished, I have put in a good 8000 steps on the yard alone. Add to that the bending down over and over to pick up the yard before mowing and the bending and stretching with various other yard activities and that is a pretty fair workout for the day. One day though, is not enough. So I had to get creative.

I can't really afford the luxury of a gym membership and in the best of times, I am pretty much a homebody. Since COVID-19 though, I am darn near a recluse and I kind of like it that way. I am willing to venture out several times a week and go for a 30 or so minute walk and when I have to go to the grocery store, I do consider that part of my walk regimen, but still I needed more....so I have decided to try and make my house....my gym. My house has two sets of 13 step stairs. One is to go up to the second story and one is to go to the basement and I climb up and down those steps at least 10 times/day. I have decided to double that and each time I have to go up and down with a purpose, I will add and additional up and down as part of a workout. I have also decided that since I manage to go in and out of every room in my house at least 3 times each day, that I am going to assign 15 reps of a given exercise in each room. For instance, in my room I have a big exercise stability ball. Each time I enter my room, I do 15 crunches on the ball. If I go in the upstairs bathroom, I do 15 jumping jacks. The living room is 15 push ups and in the laundry room I have dumb bells and I do 15 reps of different arm lifts every time I enter the room. Each room either has some kind of workout equipment such as bands or the stability ball or in the rooms that don't, I just do some sort of exercise that doesn't require equipment.

I tested this technique out a bit last week and really liked it and felt like I accomplished something without having to make a lot of extra time to workout. Starting tomorrow I will try to be absolutely dedicated to it for the the next seven days. I am also going to be dedicated to eating what I want, but paying attention to the portions, and as a side note, I am also going to make it a rule to not eat after 6 p.m. It is proven that this helps with weight loss and also makes it so that you don't have acid reflux all night. That is win/win in my book.

If you notice I said that I am dedicated to all of this for the next seven days. I figure that I can do anything for a week. At that time I can see how I feel, what the scales show and if I think this particular plan works for me. If it's not working, then I can change it up and figure out if I need to scale back more on the portions or add to the workouts. At any rate....it is a start and without a starting point, you can't take the next best step in the direction you need to be going.

The world doesn't appear that it is going to be settling down at all any time soon and with all that is going on, it would be very easy to succumb to the negativity both mentally and physically. The bottom line though is that the world is not responsible for taking care of me. That is my journey, my obligation and my choice as to whether I want to be the best me I can be or if I want to be a reflection of how unhealthy the world currently is. Only I can change me....so let's see what happens.  

Two Weeks In

So you have decided to change your life. You want to eat better, sleep better and just all the way around be healthier. Yeah....me too! Right now though, I am not just in the "I want stage" but I am in the actively proceeding forward, "I am doing it" stage.

A little over two weeks ago, I decided that I was going to give Trim Healthy Mama another go and I was going to see what I could achieve to better my health, my joy and my life. I knew THM would work....if I worked it. After all THM didn't quit on me.....I quit on it and more importantly, I had quit on myself. So here we are.

This time around, since I am not as much of a novice where THM is concerned, instead of focusing on how actually to work the program, I am focusing on how I feel and how to best tweak the program to work for me personally. Yes, that is the beauty of THM, there is leeway there to let you make the program work for you. Of course, you have to be mindful of your body and your health and pay attention to how eating, drinking and moving differently affects you personally. Then it is as simple as keeping what works for you and putting what currently doesn't on the back burner. I say put it on the back burner, because what I have learned about THM is, that just because something doesn't work for you in the here and now, doesn't mean that later on it won't be just what you need.

As I stated above, this time around, I am much more familiar with the program and how it works, so I am able to be a little more experimental. One thing that I notice, that I think I touched on in another blog post was that, as you become more entrenched in the program, your taste buds change. At least mine did. I remember when I first started out, things like apple cider vinegar in my drinks, mashed cauliflower, and the different breads made without white or wheat flour tasted off and admittedly, not appetizing at all. The fact that sugar was a no no, forced me to take out stock in Truvia as it was the only sweetener I could stand and I had to have a ton of it in everything. Things like Gentle Sweet and Super Sweet were not in the least appealing to me. Now though, here I stand today to tell you that I live on Good Girl Moonshine with yes....apple cider vinegar, I eat cauliflower in all forms and put it into just about everything and although I am still not a fan of some of the breads, I can eat them and I have grown a real affinity for sprouted bread. As for my sugar addiction....once again it is under control and I have grown a true appreciation for Gentle Sweet and Super Sweet as I have learned to use them in my cooking. I also no longer feel the need to add as much Stevia either and have lowered my intake dramatically.

This time around, I am also taking advantage of my THM cookbooks and trying different recipes such as Reuben in a Bowl as well as going back to some of my families favorites like Egg Roll in a Bowl. I am also learning  as I have stated before, that by doing a little planning ahead, making a weekly menu and a reciprocating grocery list, that I am cutting way down on our food bill as well as waste. Also, most of these recipes make enough that there is plenty left over for lunches or to freeze for future meals. It cuts down on the impulses to go grab fast food because you are tired and by using your crock pot and/or Instantpot, you save a great deal of time in the kitchen.

So since starting back on THM on January 13th, as of today I have lost 4.8 pounds. Of course the first week is when I lost a big part of that, as not only was I eating better, but I also started drinking more water, which always flushes the system and sets your body up for success. Also, without getting too graphic or throwing out TMI, when we don't eat and drink well, our bodies don't process well. Our systems don't function efficiently from sleep to flushing waste from our bodies. Too much sugar, fat and carbs together and not enough vegetables and healthy fats can cause our systems and our metabolism to slow down to nothing. We can feel like slugs moving through our day. Once back on THM though, I could feel everything starting to work properly again and I was functioning better, enjoying my food more, sleeping better and just all around feeling better. So while the weight loss is nice, the NSV's that are associated with all of this are sometimes even better.

NSV's you ask? NSV's are non-scale victories. While the numbers on the scale might be my goal, the NSV's are what will actually keep me motivated between weigh-in's and help me to stay focused on what is important in all of this.....me and my health. From time to time you may notice me putting far more emphasis on the NSV's in my life than on the numbers and that is the way I feel it should be. In fact, in my opinion, the NSV's have far more value to me than the numbers ever will.

In the little more than two weeks I have been doing this, my blood pressure numbers are also getting better, but I am still not where I want them to be and I refuse to rely solely on medication to get me there. After all....my end game is to be off blood pressure medication altogether (another important NSV for me). As I have been focused on getting back into the swing of eating these last weeks, starting this week, I plan on adding some movement and dare I say exercise into the mix. I had already started doing some very light yoga in the morning and in the evening and it does help how I function throughout the day and sleep at night, but this week there will be walking. We shall see how that goes in the days to come.

The one thing that I have learned through my past on THM and through my life in the last year is that......any goal is achievable if I want it badly enough and am willing to work for it. I have also learned the valuable lesson that I can do nothing without help from my Higher Power, meaning that when I am weak of will, He will pull me through....all I have to do is ask. I am also fully aware that in order to change things, I must be willing to put in the work and love myself enough to want the best for me. I can't do anything for someone else. I MUST do it for me. And finally, I can't eat an elephant in one bite, but I can eat him one bite at a time. In other words, I will not lose 100 lbs, be healthy and feel great in a week. However, if I take it one step at a time, one meal at a time and one NSV at a time, I will not only reach my goals, but quite possibly exceed them.

So there you have it. I am two weeks in and still going strong. Yay me and yay THM!

Until next time.........

The "Real" in Mama Junes Reality TV

You know...I was never a fan of Honey Boo Boo and her mother....Mama June. I like a little class with my tv and try as I might, I could never find any in that show. Now they are back or Mama June primarily is in a show called From Not to Hot. For those of you who have never viewed this new reality show endeavor, Mama June is on a journey to lose weight and look amazing for her ex, Sugar Bears wedding.

Now please don't judge me for watching this low brow reality show, but I simply can't help myself. I am somewhat addicted to any show that talks about and shows true weight loss in individuals. Yes, I know you are saying to yourself...."But Lisa, this is 'reality' tv. How true can this be?" Well, you are right. For some of this show, the non-reality of it is glaringly obvious such as when June starts losing a lot of weight a little too quickly and has to wear an obvious fat suit to film some sections of the show. That being said though, the weight loss is real and even more so......her struggle with weight loss is very real.

Mama June tipped the scales at somewhere around 350 lbs when filming started. The premise of the story goes that June found out her ex was getting remarried in 10 months and he had invited her to the wedding, so she decided she wanted to show the bride up and go to the wedding with a whole new look. Of course reality tv saw $$$$$ and made it their mission to make as much money off June, her weight loss and her dysfunctional brood as they could.

Without giving away all the stimulating drama and plot points of the series, I will give you the condensed version. June had gastric sleeve surgery. The series gave her a personal trainer and her daughters bought her a size 4 dress so that she had a goal to achieve in 40 weeks. Again.....reality tv heaven. For me, it was like a train wreck. I knew I shouldn't watch, but darned if I didn't get sucked in. To my credit though, I DVR the show so that I can fast forward through some of the more ridiculousness of the show.... and some weeks that is a good portion of it, however.....the show is a pretty accurate portrayal of the difficulty involved with losing a large amount of weight and this is why I guess it holds my interest.

A gastric sleeve is one of the more extreme ways that someone who is unhealthily over weight can turn to for weight loss. Because it is a surgery it holds some degree of danger from anesthetic to the possibility of infection, blood clots and all the other potentially dangerous side effects of anyone post surgery. Once the surgery is over, there is of course the recovery from the surgery and because your stomach has basically been shrunk, there is a period of time where you are only allowed liquids and then you work yourself up to small portions of food.

A gastric sleeve can help a person literally drop 100-200 lbs in a relatively short period of time, but it is not a miracle worker in itself. The person undergoing the surgery has to be dedicated to losing the weight and keeping it off and also has to be resigned to the fact that for the rest of their lives they will never be able to eat as they did before the surgery without risk of damaging the sleeve or themselves. In other words, if you are going into something as drastic as gastric sleeve surgery, you better be all in on this being a permanent lifestyle change and you better also be losing for the right reasons. Needless to say, showing the bride up at your exes wedding is not in my opinion, a good reason.

June of course drops the weight initially quite quickly and with this large amount of weight loss come some of the less pleasant side effects of losing this much weight quickly. Everything sags and bags and flapping arms, excess stomach skin and sagging thighs are not only uncomfortable, but they can also get in the way of exercise and day to day living. They also have an affect on self image. It's great to be a size 4 but if the skin on your arms make you look like you have wings instead of arms.....that becomes a self image problem. Surgery then again becomes a necessity. The thing about skin removal surgery though, is that you basically have to be pretty near your goal weight before having it or else the surgery does no good.  So Junes story does not have an automatic happy ending. In fact, at times the story gets quite "real" and becomes something that most of us can easily identify with.

June does not like exercise and yet exercise is as important to her weight loss and overall health as eating right is. It is a real struggle for her to get with the exercise program....even with a very animated and professional trainer. The struggle is even more difficult when it becomes obvious that June went into the whole weight loss, surgery, etc. thinking that her weight would come off much more easily and with a lot less work on her part, than is actually required. Eventually though, even June figures out that exercise is a key factor in her new lifestyle and gets on board to some degree.

Another glaringly evident theme in the show is that Junes two daughters who live with her are anything but supportive. Alonna (Honey Boo Boo) and Lauryn (Pumpkin) are used to a diet of sugar, fast food and comfort food and obviously supporting their moms weight loss by cutting out the unhealthy foods or even cutting back is not in their game plan as they eat cheeseburgers and ice cream in front of June. This is something that many of us can relate to as often our families are only supportive if it doesn't affect them.

Weight loss is challenging for the toughest of people as it is overcoming an addiction. A food addiction. Anyone knows you wouldn't smoke meth in front of a drug addict or drink alcohol in front of an alcoholic but people don't think twice about eating a piece of cake or downing a cheeseburger with everything on it in front someone trying to lose weight. Junes daughters not only eat all the things she can't have in front of her, but it is quite obvious at times that the two girls who seem to have weight issues of their own, aren't truly accepting of their moms new size or attempt at a healthier lifestyle. In fact there are definitely times that the two seem to be almost sabotaging their mom's efforts. Again....a lot of us can relate. If those around us see us changing for the better and they aren't, it somehow becomes a threat to them and their way of life, so they load on the sabotage. I think this is when reality tv crosses over into real life for some of us.

So I am not sure how far into the season we are with Mama June. I know in the last episode she had given into her old habits and she has become quite proficient at hiding cookies, candies and other forms of unhealthy and fattening contraband much to her trainers shock and dismay. This "bad" behavior had been instrumental in causing her to gain some of her weight back. Fortunately her gain wasn't enough to keep her from getting the first of her two skin surgeries (a skin removal and tummy tuck on her stomach and a breast lift/enhancement). Her excitement over her knew boobs and flat stomach was somewhat squelched though at the realization that beauty sometimes hurts and these surgeries were starting to be much more painful and life restricting than she had originally signed on for.

Will Mama June get her arms and neck done or will she give up the whole surgery idea? Will she continue  to hide food and sneak eat and allow her family to continue sabotaging her? Or..... will she start to realize that her weight loss is more than just a moment of revenge at her exes wedding?

Bottom line is that many of us who carry extra pounds, whether it is 20 lbs or 200 lbs have all kinds of reasons for wanting to lose weight. The fact is though, that if we don't lose for the right reasons and learn a little about ourselves as we go, the weight will never stay off and we will fail ourselves over and over again. Losing for the right reasons (love of ourselves, our health and our desire to live a full healthy and happy life) is the only thing that will get us through those moments when our family and friends aren't as supportive as they should be or when we are contemplating doing our own self-sabotage.

So yeah, I am still not a fan of Mama June or reality tv as a whole but what can I say.....I'm invested! 

The Me I am Suppose to Be

No....I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Yes.....in the last month or so, I have proven that I am human though, and fallen off the Trim Healthy Mama (THM) wagon which to some of you, may make my journey a bit more relatable.

The moment school started, or maybe even a bit before that.....life for me began to change. As anyone who attempts a lifestyle change knows.....added change above and beyond the lifestyle change itself, can be difficult and even derailing at times.

For me, July 2nd, through Sept. 28th, is always a hard time of year for me. It started in Sept. of 2000 when my son was born 13 weeks prematurely and he as well as our entire family began a years long roller coaster ride with him, first with months in the NICU and then years of dealing with his many diagnosis which include but are not limited to cerebral palsy, hydrocephalus and a seizure disorder. Then in July of 2001, I came home to find my husband had died from an undetected brain aneurysm. In August it is our wedding anniversary and Sept. is his birthday. So those months in the best of times, have their trials for me.

This year though, there was added stress with one of my sons and his daughter moving home, some added projects I gave myself and just some things I was going through personally trying to acclimate myself to weight loss and keeping myself emotionally built up, so I would not stall out and back slide and so I would continue to lose.

You know, I like to think of myself as a strong woman who is tough as nails and that what people say about me or think about me has no real affect on me. The truth is though, I am human and sometimes my force field is not nearly as strong as I think it is and BOOM....I am wounded and all my hard work feels like it is for nothing.

I have a great family. I love my kids dearly and I do try and be "Mom of the Year," more than I should....especially since all but one of my kids is grown. That being said, they are young people caught up in their own world and they have no understanding of how important it is to me to hit my goals and maintain this lifestyle change for the long haul. At first, they were fairly supportive eating with me and giving me the ol' "great job Mom," comments along the way. Then they just stopped. THEN....I started hearing rumblings about the THM food I was making. They wanted, junk food, sugar, soda and all the things that I had fought to break away from. Finally it got to the point where they started getting snide about food, about my weight loss and even about me.Add to that, one of my sons constantly commenting on my food intake and asking me...."is that on your diet," and I began realizing that I was losing myself again in their negativity and judgement. ENOUGH was ENOUGH!

 Truthfully, for about the last 6 weeks, I have been eating the THM way about 50-60 percent of the time and while I haven't put a huge amount of weight back on, this morning when I stepped on the scales, it was significant enough to give me a wake up call. My body has been giving me aches and pains that it wasn't before and I feel sluggish and unenergetic. To say that I am not happy with myself right now is an understatement.

Little fun fact, if you aren't actively participating in the THM facebook pages, they quit showing up in your news feed as much. In the last few weeks, I have barely seen a THM post, but just like back in May when I first decided to change my life, the THM Challenge page miraculously showed up on Oct. 7th (and I say miraculously because I hadn't seen a Challenge posts in a couple of weeks). It happened to be a post about a new challenge that runs Oct. 7th through Nov. 4th. I knew that once again, I was being guided to get busy and get back on it and not for anyone but me!

This week may prove challenging as it is my birthday week, but I decided that the best gift I can give myself is taking care of me and getting back to feeling healthy and happy. I refuse to allow anyone including my children to dictate how I live my life or to allow anyone's negativity to affect what I know will ultimately make me the best me I can be.

So yes, I am human and yes, I stumbled and fell back a few steps. However, this is not the end of my journey. It is merely a speed bump and it was put in my path for a reason. In these last few weeks I have learned a great deal about myself, my family and how much I want this. Perhaps it was a gift given to me so that I can now push harder, become stronger and ultimately......find the me I am suppose to be. 

Short and Sweet

As of today.....I have lost 25.6 lbs since May 15th! This week I lost just shy of another 2 lbs!

Today's blog is short and sweet. May 14th, just a few weeks ago, I was convinced that I could NOT lose weight. I was absolutely sure that I was destined to be overweight, sluggish, unmotivated and unhealthy for the rest of my life. I hated getting out of bed in the morning. I hated looking at myself in the mirror and I hated going anywhere because I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. It was not a life I was happy about, but it was the life I deserved as no one forced fast food and candy down my throat and everyday that I did nothing about it.....well that was a choice.

May 15th, literally changed my life. It was the day I opened up the THM cookbook and decided that I was going to prove to myself once and for all that I deserved better. I have stayed committed for all these weeks and as I felt better and started looking better, I refused to allow myself to stray....not even for a jelly bean. Today I have renewed energy, motivation and I feel oh so much better in my own skin.

I am far from finished on this journey. I have a lot more weight to lose, but each 10th of a pound means that I am that much closer to my goal and totally regaining my health.

So my message to each of you is......don't give up on you!!!! Make the choice that you deserve to be healthy and feel good about you. Remember that you are worth it and that by taking care of you, then you will better be able to take care of those you love.

I told you....short and sweet! :)

Rah Rahing THM

Today's weigh in followed a really chaotic and nerve rattling week. While they are much much much better, I still have the occasional mental and emotional switch flip when things start feeling out of control and I want to soothe myself with carbs and sugar, but I have managed to stay on course. Still, I knew that this week was not going to show the results I wanted, however......likely the results I deserved. 

Someone told me a couple of weeks ago (once again), that my "rah rah" cheer leading about THM and my progress and the fact that nearly every week I have lost "something" were not realistic and that I was setting people up to fail if they went by my "results." I had to point out that my results were doable by anyone as losing 23 lbs in 11 weeks was not unrealistic at all. In fact, I likely could have "realistically" lost more had I exercised regularly and thrown in a few more FP snacks and traded out some S meals for some E's. However, I am very pleased with my progress and if I seem to be "rah rahing" about THM, it is because I can literally have my cake and lose weight too.

I have also had a couple of people who have been reading my weekly blogs, who have asked me about THM. They have even gone so far as to buy the books. One has read the book and has already told me that she simply "can't" do it. It is too hard and she has absolutely no idea how I ever figured it out. I do feel for her as I know that is pretty much how I felt at first. That is why it took me almost two years before I decided to jump in head first and give it my all. So how did I figure it all out? I didn't! No seriously. What I did do was join all the THM facebook pages that I could and I bought the THM Cookbook. The cookbook was really what did it for me.

In the THM cookbook, the recipes are divided by breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, etc and in each category the recipes are then divided by S, E and FP. I no longer had to figure out what was what. I simply decided on what type of meal, snack, etc that I wanted and then made the recipe. It took all the thinking out of it and if you know me at all, you know that is a really good thing. After a bit of doing this, then things started clicking in my head as to how I could combine the meals in a day that best suited my weight loss. For me, when I really am serious about taking the pounds off, I eat two E meals, one S meal and 2-3 FP snacks per day. Invariably when I eat like this, I have at least a 2-3 lb. loss that week. And no, I don't measure or think about portions. I usually eat until I am full, but I do try to add more veggies, especially if I think I need a second helping. Speaking of veggies, my favorite side dish is broccoli/cauliflower mashed fauxtatoes. They appear as a side extravaganza to many of my meals.

So what are some of my favorites where meals and snacks are concerned? For breakfast, because I am not typically a breakfast eater, I have learned to start my day with an E smoothie. Just about any one from the book is great and after a bit, you learn to put your own slant on the recipes to make them better suited to your tastes.

Lunches for me are easiest because again, I like to stay on the E side of things. One of my favorite E lunches is two slices of sprouted bread with Peanut Junkie Butter and Slim Belly Jelly (both recipes in the cookbook) with lean turkey meat. On the side I will have homemade pico de gallo and maybe some cucumbers for good measure.

Supper/Dinner is usually an S and I have tried most of the recipes in the cookbook. I have yet to find one that wasn't satisfying and family pleasing. One of my favorites is the meatloaf. It is absolutely delicious and dare I say......it is even better than my mothers recipe!

For my snacks, I have an insatiable sweet tooth, but with that being said, I try hard to stick to FP's. My two favorites are Cottage Berry Whip and Glucci Pudding. Again, both recipes are in the book and both feed my sweet tooth nicely. With the Cottage Berry Whip, I use 1% cottage cheese (I buy mine at Aldi) and I switch between blueberries, strawberries, pumpkin and lemon juice. I have even taken the mixture and put it in the freezer. When frozen, it tastes just like ice cream. With the Glucci Pudding I love to switch between chocolate, vanilla and caramel. You feel like you are eating dessert and cheating all at the same time. It truly makes me happy.

So this week, I knew I didn't do as well as I could have. I fell off my tried and true formula and probably had more S meals than I should have. I didn't drink as much water as normal and I knew that this time around, the big number was not likely to be there. I was right. I'm good though. I lost 6/10ths of a pound and as I always say....a loss is a loss. 

I guess what I feel like I need to keep stressing is, yes.....maybe I am rah rahing THM, but it is not without reason. This is the first time in my life that I have been able to lose substantial weight without starving myself or taking diet pills. This is me.....eating, getting healthy and losing weight. The bottom line.....if I can do it....anyone can. You just have to have faith in yourself and know that you are truly worth it. Then I guarantee you.....that you will be rah rahing too.

Sorry...Not Sorry!

So this weeks blog almost didn't happen. Well....the blog would have probably happened, but I almost had decided not to share them anymore on the THM pages. Why? Because I got a private message last week after my end of challenge blog from a lady who told me "Please stop blogging and posting about every little detail of your weight loss. You are really over doing it and causing other mama's not to like you much." There was more to the message but that was the sum and substance of it. She felt I was oversharing and she was tired of it.

Now if someone were to describe me, "sensitive" would not be one of the first adjectives used. As a blogger of many years and someone who at one time was very involved in the political scene, you develop a pretty thick skin when it comes to personal attacks. I wouldn't really call this a personal attack, but it did make me stop and think. Was I oversharing? Was I too excited about THM and forcing it down others throats? I did back away from posting much on the THM Facebook pages this week, but after some careful thought and consideration, I decided BULL PUCKY.....Ima gonna share! So Message Mama, sorry.....not sorry! 

I share because of two reasons. The first is that if someone hadn't shared....and shared......and shared with me, I might never have ever heard of THM or be where I am right now. Thank you Marni Wells Jones from the bottom of my now, much healthier heart. The second reason is, THM in the beginning stages is not easy. For a beginner it is confusing and frustrating and you feel like the worlds dumbest person trying to figure out S, E, FP and so on. Having someone out there who has been through the challenging first stages, stuck with it and who is having success, is often just the catalyst for others who are on the fence about whether to trudge ahead or give up and eat a cheesecake. This Celery Girls advice........trudge mama's! Please keep trudging!

As I read through the different THM Facebook pages, especially the beginners one, I really do see a lot of struggle and frustration from time to time. Trying to wrap your head around no numbers, NSV's, radishes as potatoes and cauliflower being everything from rice to a sauce is confusing. So today I want to answer some questions that I see pop up all the time. Now please note: I AM SPEAKING ONLY OF MY EXPERIENCE. I can speak to no one elses.

1) Do I have to read the books? No! Only if you want to understand the plan thoroughly is this necessary. HOWEVER, I suggest you have on hand both the original THM book and the THM Cookbook. As you will refer to them a lot!!!!! The funny thing is that as you progress on the plan, the original book makes more and more sense and I personally use my cookbook daily.

2) I am not social and don't get on Facebook a lot. Am I missing out on much by NOT joining the THM FB groups? YES! Some of my best information has come from these groups and the ladies who share questions, thoughts, ideas and recipes....not to mention their awesome lifestyle transformation stories. Nothing is more motivating than to see the before and after pictures of these women working to change their lives. As a side note: If not for the FB group THM - Challenge Group......I would not be sitting here writing this today!

3) I love bread. I do not understand why I can't have bread with my eggs on plan! You can have bread with your eggs on plan! Eggs are an S meal. There are S breads you can make up quickly in a mug, toast them and enjoy. You can also eat a piece of sprouted bread with your eggs and consider it a crossover, meaning you are mixing your carbs and fats. On occasion, that is perfectly fine, but if you make a habit of it....you might get a bit frustrated that the pounds don't shed as easily.

4)How can I do this? I have a family and I can't afford to make separate meals for them and me. So don't! I guarantee that at least 75% of the meals on plan are what I call "family pleasing" meals. This means that if you make Taco Time Taco's or Lazy Lasagna and don't tell them it is THM, they will eat it, love it and ask for more! I speak from experience on this!!!!!!

5) I made Lazy Lasagna. It was delicious, but I am still hungry. Can I have more? If so....how much? Yes. You can have more. The beauty of THM is freedom. If you work the plan correctly, you should never feel hungry or deprived. Sometimes though, we fnd ourselves hungrier than at other times. If you want more food....eat more food....within limits. I always jot down what I eat and if I eat extra at a meal. That way if I have a slow loss or no loss week or even a gain week, I can go back over what I ate and see where I can cut back or change things up for a better upcoming week.

6) Do I have to drink Good Girl Moonshine (GGMS)? I don't like the taste of the apple cider vinegar? Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! No...you do not have to drink it BUT believe it or not it helps your cravings, weight loss, over all health and most of all.....IT GROWS ON YOU! My first GGMS I nearly died. It was awful and I did not finish it. My friend though, encouraged me to look up recipes on Pinterest and play with flavorings and also to cut back to about a tsp. of ACV until I got used to it. I took her advice and found some GGMS that I really liked. From there I began making my own concoctions and never measuring the ACV (I know it is closer to a Tbsp per drink now) and now......I find it difficult to drink my drinks without ACV in them. I couldn't do this plan without my GGMS.

7) There is so much to drink between the GGMS, the sippers, smoothies, frappas, etc. Do I really need to drink all of this and if so, do I need to drink water too? Yes and yes! I know it sounds like a lot but your body does need most of this. I usually average 1-2/32 oz jars of GGMS, 1-2/32 oz jars of a sipper and 8 glasses of water a day. I also usually throw in a smoothie for either breakfast or a snack. The frappas? I use that as a special treat from time to time. The fact is, the GGMS and the sippers introduce healthy ingredients to your body and promote weight loss. The water is necessary for everything from your skin and other organs to your digestive track. Keeping hydrated is essential as many times we mistake hunger for thirst. My motto....Drink! DRINK! Drink!

8) Why does it seem that everyone else is losing weight and I am stalled or even gaining weight? I don't think THM is working for me! Bottom line, don't judge your weight loss by anyone elses. We are all unique and there are many factors involved as to how we lose weight. How much weight you have to lose, how much weight you have carried over a period of time, how much or little you work out, how strictly you stick to the plan, the time of the month, hormones in general, stress, chronic illness and genetics all play a part in our ability to lose and gain weight. I can tell you that before May 15, 2016....I was convinced that I could NEVER lose weight as I had lost and gained the same 10 pounds for over 15 years. I was giving THM one "all in" chance to see if I could lose weight by doing the Spring Fling Challenge. If I gave it everything and lost nothing or only a couple of pounds, I was resigned to a life of being overweight and unhealthy. I stuck to plan, stayed on track and got off my keester and started moving. I found out that I COULD lose and it was at a slow and steady pace. Be happy with your numbers, even if the weight only comes off in tiny incriments. All those little numbers add up in the big scheme of things and I am here to tell you.....if I can lose.....anyone can! 

9) I don't have a support system and people refuse to quit buying and eating junk off-plan foods around me. How can I possibly do this? Please know that I say this with as much love, respect and understanding as possible.....Put on your big girl panties and love you enough to make it happen! You ARE worth it! I guarantee that if you can stay completely on plan for 1 week, you will understand this. If your family doesn't support you, then turn to your THM groups. See if there isn't someone close to you in one of the groups who will buddy with you. If no one is close, then find a long distance buddy and call, chat, email and message each other. The THM groups have an abundance of support, but you have to ask for it. Don't give into failure before you even begin. If those around you insist on having snacks and unhealthy foods in the house, then ask them to keep them in their rooms or find a cabinet that is for THEIR stuff and know that it is off limits to you. In exchange.....give yourself a cabinet or space that is full of wonderful on-plan snacks and quick fix foods so that no matter what they bring in the house....you won't feel tempted. It does get easier....I promise!

10) Final question. How do I keep my kids out of my GGMS and my THM foods? I say....don't! It is never too early to teach our kids good and healthy eating habits. Kids are great immitators and if they see you drink or eat something, naturally they will want it too. I used to try and hoard my GGMS, my greek yogurt and my Peanut Junkie Butter from kids, until I realized that I was molding how they saw and ate food and that it would likely be with them the rest of their lives. They now eat what I eat. It is all about the ever changing perception of food and how we choose to make it a part of our lives.

So there you have it. My answers to frequently asked beginner questions. And yes, I am currently doing the No-Cheat Get Moving 2 week challenge. Today ends week one and although I have "moved" some and paid for it a bit, I have stayed on plan for yet another week. Each week gets easier as I find no reason to cheat, after all....just about anything can be THMized!

Now to today's weigh in. For the first time in weeks....I gained 2/10ths of a pound. I am good with that as I know my body is changing. It is all part of the process and because I keep track of what I eat, if changes need to be made, I will know exactly where to make them.

My final words to you this week.....Don't give up! You've got this! And most importantly......You are worth it!

You Are Worth It!

So it's Sunday and today was weigh-in day. After last weeks weigh-in, I had pretty much prepared and coached myself to be happy with whatever the scale said. After all...I knew I had been sticking to the plan (minus one forgotten breakfast and one late night crossover which technically was still on plan). Still, I knew my body was changing and that there was every possibility that the scales had either not budged or quite possibly had only moved a few tenths of a pound like last week. This week though, there was a nice number on the minus side and I was very happy.

I may or may not have pointed out that I have been playing with THM for well over a year. I was on it full fledged for about a week right in the beginning, but then life hit and I let it be the excuse for me falling off the wagon. There have been a few starts and stops since that point and there have been times that I have been on plan about 50-60% of the time, but it wasn't until I saw the Spring Fling Challenge that something clicked inside of me.

Up until then, I had convinced myself that with my thyroid disease and being the care giver to my special needs son, that I would just never lose this weight. Actually, I convinced myself that I couldn't lose it. So when I put my son on THM with lots of crossovers and he started gaining weight and getting healthy, I knew that it was time his mama started losing weight and getting healthy too.

I can't really tell you why it is working for me this time or why I am so dedicated. Maybe it is that I finally understand the plan. I feel better about how it all works and I like the results I am seeing. Maybe it is because I am never hungry and sometimes have to force myself to eat because there is simply no deprivation in this plan at all. Maybe though, the reason everything is working this time is because it is my time. I finally quit making excuses and I am pushing myself to do things that I either didn't think I could do or simply didn't want to do previously.

As I read the THM Facebook pages, I see a lot of people saying...."I can't," or "I don't like" and making excuses as to why they aren't losing or why THM isn't working for them. The fact is, anyone can, you don't know if you like something until you try it and excuses help no one. They are simply making you bitter and frustrated while enabling you in whatever negative behaviors you are dealing with.

Quite honestly, in the beginning.....THM was the most frustrating and confusing plan I had ever been on. I didn't know my E's from my S's and fuggetaboutit when it came to FP's. I was totally lost. At that point in my life, I didn't see myself as worthy enough to take the time and figure out what I didn't understand, so I just gave up. I kept coming back though, because the food was delicious and fairly simple to make and I was absolutely in love with the drinks.

So this time, when the Spring Fling Challenge came up, I decided I could do anything for 6 weeks and it would be a true tell as to whether I could actually lose weight and if THM would really work for me. The proof is in the fact that I am still here and still plugging along half way through the challenge.

This week I have also been blessed with some NSV's (non scale victories). I have continued to increase my walking and since last Sunday, I have walked almost 15 miles. I took a picture of my face and posted it on Facebook. I had several call me out on this and say that they couldn't see my body. The fact is, my body is not near as hard for me to post a picture of as my face is. Anyone who knows me knows this. However, I did take a full body picture the day I started this challenge and I plan on taking another one on June 30th. THEN I will post the pictures and we shall see. I also was able to comfortably fit into a size 14 jean this week. That hasn't happened in a long while. Finally.....today....I am in the last digits of a number that I haven't seen in years. Next week if I have continued to move the scale south, I will be at a weight that I haven't been at in 15 years.

While I can't make anyone give THM a fair chance, I can encourage you to give it a try. Yes, if you purchase the first book, it will leave you scratching your head and wondering what the heck you have gotten yourself into. However, if you also purchase the cookbook and join some of the THM Facebook pages, it all becomes much easier and much clearer. Through Facebook, there are always people willing to answer your questions and help you piece together what you don't understand.

I am happy today, but then again.....I have been happy since I started this challenge. I am happy with me, my goals and my determination and believe me.....that is not a feeling I have had about myself in a very long time.

Until next time.....have a wonderful day and remember.....YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Donut Girl and Some Tips for Success in THM

Happy Sunday everyone! Yes...another blog. I didn't really plan another blog on Celery Girl, but I had a comment this morning that kinda made me want to.

First of all, today it has been one week since the Spring Fling Challenge started. I was faithful all week and stayed within plan. It paid off. I will not say how it paid off and I will not be posting any kind of numbers until June 30th at the end of the challenge. I will just say....it paid off. 

This brings me to the comment I received this morning on yesterday's blog. I am going to share it here:

Donut Girl May 22,2016 at 11:05 AM

"I loved this blog but I am so frustrated. I am trying to work my way through THM and I am try to eat like others in the different groups but they are losing a lot of weight and I don't seem to be doing anything. I want to cry. No one any to go eat donuts. Can you help me please? Tell me what I'm doing wrong and tell me how to fix it."

Let me first say Donut Girl....I feel your pain and I have been in your shoes. I think honestly, most of us can say this. Also, I am not an expert in anything except myself and my own body. That being said though, I do have a bit of experience with diets, dieting, losing and failing tremendously. I know the frustration, the anger and the ultimate disappointment of feeling as if once again I failed. I also know how it feels to look in the mirror and not like what I see and not like how I feel. Plain and simple.....IT SUCKS! 

This is why I am writing today's blog. No....I won't be boring you daily with this blog, mostly because I have two other blogs in which to bore people with. Today though, I want to reach out again, to those who feel as if they are the hamster in the wheel, doing all the work but getting no where.

To begin with, changing your life through food is much different than dieting. Trim Healthy Mama (THM) is truly a life change and up until now, most of us have been on diets. What's the difference? EVERYTHING.....from the way we think to the way we eat and how our bodies feel. With diets we have to measure, count calories or if it is done for us, then we have to eat small portions of food that we really have no idea what chemicals are in them or how they will affect our bodies. Diets can also leave our bodies missing nutrients and causing our hormones to get out of whack. This leaves us unsatisfied, in a bad mood and often times feeling worse than before we started. Mentally....the word "diet" is unpleasant and most usually, sets us up to fail, before we even get started.

Serene and Pearl went out of their way in making THM, to ensure we wouldn't have to deal with any of the "diet" unpleasantness. They have designed this plan so that while taking weight off, we learn to eat properly and fuel our bodies properly. The trade off is, we do our own cooking and we learn about the foods we put into our body and how our bodies work with those foods. There are none of the highs and lows of blood sugar issues, hormones going crazy or our bodies becoming malnourished because we aren't eating the right combinations of good fats and carbs. There are no extremes and done properly, there are no mid-day crashes, no middle of the night munchies and no feelings of anger from being hungry and not being able to eat.

This is however, a full body experience which means mind as well as body. In essence, the first step to success is not to let your negative brain override your positive new plan. The brain is powerful. It can tell us we are hungry when we really aren't and it can cause us to trip up and fail just because it is telling us we are on just another diet. Fortunately.....after about a week of realizing that your body is fully fed, not missing out on good treats like chocolate and desserts and that your hormones aren't running a muck, your brain starts to settle down and get with the program.

Now here are some tips to making THM a permanent lifestyle change and how not to derail yourself.

1) Get both of the THM books. The first one Trim Healthy Mama Plan is a little more challenging to understand right off the bat, but as you progress, you will find yourself coming back to it more and more. The second book Trim Healthy Mama Cookbook is the recipe book and it is my cooking bible. It is full of recipes and information to help make the plan easy to jump into. Both can be purchased from the THM website.

2) Get on FB and look up THM pages. There are many THM pages and I suggest you join several. You will find out that you are not alone in this journey and there are many who will help you and cheer you on. Eventually you will find the groups you are most comfortable with and that will become your THM home.

3) Ask questions. If you don't know by now.....no one started out on this journey having all the answers. It is always about asking questions and learning. No question is stupid if it helps you to better understand the plan.

4) Don't compare your journey to others. I see this every day on the THM pages. Mary followed Sally's menu for the week and she lost 8 lbs. Susie also followed Sally's menu for the week and she only lost 2 lbs and poor Amy followed it too and she gained 2 lbs. It's enough to make a person eat an off plan donut....or six.

5) DON'T weigh yourself everyday. Our bodies, especially if you are a woman, can fluctuate from morning to night. We retain water, sometimes we have to poop and during our time of the month.....fuggitaboutit. A good rule of thumb is to not weigh more than once a week. Weigh the same time of day, (usually first thing in the morning after you have gone to the bathroom). Try also to weigh in the same clothes each time. Also....don't judge your success by the number on the scale. As you get more active and work out, you will begin to build muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat and sometimes you will see a bit of an increase in numbers because of this. Also, with THM, the non scale victories (NSV) are every bit as important as the numbers on the scale. Maybe the scales didn't move this week, but you can now wear a smaller size, someone at work noticed that you are losing weight or your child notices that your lap is now bigger and they have more room to sit. What the scale says is only a small part of changing your lifestyle, so don't drive yourself crazy by weighing everyday. All you will do is get frustrated and derail yourself. Once a week and no more!

6) Each of us is different and we are going to lose weight differently, even if we follow the exact same menu. If you are bigger and start off weighing more, then chances are in the beginning you will lose weight faster. After a few weeks though, the quick weight loss will stall out and then you have to mix up your menus with S's and E's and FP's thrown in along the way. Exercise may also need to be amped up when you stall out and believe it or not.....sometimes a cheat day is necessary just to shake your body up and throw it out of stall mode. Yes, cheat days have their place, but only as a last resort.

7) Water. I know that with Good Girl Moonshine and Sippers that there is no issue of thirst going on in the plan, but water is still crucial. It is proven that those who manage to drink 48-62 ounces of water per day when trying to lose weight, have much better results. Now I just hear some of you out there saying....."But I can't stand water." I know that for some it is an acquired taste but it is necessary and trust me, you can learn to not only like water, but after a time, you will actually prefer it to other things. At any rate....it is key in weight loss so I encourage you to develop a long and lasting relationship with it.

8) Pinterest. It's not just for decorating your home and yard anymore. There are many THM recipes on Pinterest and most are labeled as S or E or FP. There are a lot of creative people out there who make it their mission to make every recipe a THM recipe and then to share it. Take advantage of their generosity and let them help you make weekly menus. Also....there are some amazing blogs that you can find through Pinterest and through the THM fb pages that will help to encourage you and keep you on the THM track.

9) Weekly menus. For some these are crucial to maintaining the plan. Some people are much more apt to stay on plan if it is mapped out for them in advance. Planning ahead and knowing what you will be preparing and having all your ingredients on hand ahead of time, is a great help for many and the key to success. It takes the guess work out of life and also takes last minute indecisiveness out of the picture.

10) I keep a journal. It is not a typical dieters food journal. It is more or less the recipes I use, where I found them and how we liked them. I also have notes about how I tweaked them to my families liking. This way I have a list of go-to recipes when I am planning my week out. I also keep track of my exercise and my water intake. This way if I have a week where I don't lose or I feel like I didn't do my best, I can look back and see what changes I need to make.

11) Finally, find some THMers close to you. Maybe you live in the same town and you can workout together. Maybe you can form a group and get together monthly and share recipes and talk about your ups and downs. If no one is close to you, then find yourself a fellow THMer online and keep in touch with them. Use each other to ask questions, throw out ideas and share the the highs and lows of changing your life. Don't feel alone and don't think you are the only one who deals with the lows. At the same time....share those highs. Each positive change in your life is going to bring you that much closer to a healthier you.

So yeah, a blog two days in a row. Mind blowing...right? Donut Girl....I hope this blog helped and I hope you realize that you can do this. I have faith in you! Really though, I'm not saying anything that most of you don't already know. I'm just putting it altogether as a reminder. Each and every one of us has the ability to achieve our goals whether they be health, fitness or weight loss. Some days are easier than others, but by making a few changes and following some basic rules....we've all got this.

Please feel free to comment. I look forward to hearing your stories, comments and questions. And as always....thank you for reading the Celery Girl blog.

Today's The Day

Celery Girl here......and what a week it has been! Okay, compared to some of the weeks I tend to have, this one has been a walk in the park, but still...... So today is the day. You will have to bare with me here, because today.....I am baring it all! Get your mind out of the gutter!

The awesome news has been that I have had some really good feedback on the VLOG...From Here to Healthy at 50 and Beyond. The bad news is....technology hates me! So far I have only been able to put out two vlogs in my thirty day vlog because I can't get my video camera and youtube to play nice together. Someone suggested it might be user error. That person is now dead to me. I am hoping that my college son will be able to take a few minutes away from his college life and help his poor technologically challenged mother beat the camera and youtube into submission. Hopefully this will happen today. Until then though....you are stuck with my words of wisdom here on the blog...with a B!

Well....it has started! The diet and lifestyle change are in the works and this time.....I am raising the bar by calling in reinforcements and eventually putting it on the vlog so that the world will know my shame if I don't stick with it. I am also lowering goal expectations. I have.....are you ready for this....60-80 lbs to lose! Yeah, I know. It sucked for me to see those numbers on the scales too, but the fact is...I worked hard for those numbers by doing nothing and eating all the wrong things. The reality is.....it is not going to come off in a month! I have no expectation of 5 lb weekly losses. I am setting my weekly loss goal at 1-2 lbs. Yes, this means slow going but it also means definite steady results that will keep my body healthy and help me to dust the cobwebs off my metabolism.

When you lose weight too quickly so many things happen to your body that you don't even realize. First of all, in order to lose weight quickly, you are immediately setting yourself up to gain it all back (and more) just as quickly. You are not training your body or your mind to eat properly, you are merely depriving your body of proper nourishment for a quick and temporary fix. Instead of band aiding the problem, I plan on making this a permanent fix this time. I don't want to lose 60 lbs in six months, be hungry all the time, watch my skin and hair take a beating for lack of nourishment and then a year from now be back in the same spot I am in today. My end game, is not only to weigh less, it is also to be healthy body, mind and spirit and to not have to fight this battle again. I want this change to be a permanent one that will take me through the next 50 years. Yes, as a matter of fact I do plan to be around until I am 100! And yes, this should scare any number of people!

Okay, why did I say 60-80 lbs? That is a 20 lb discrepancy. That is at least a size and a half difference. Yes, but I am not 20 anymore. By the way.....it is okay for me to say that. Not anyone else. At 20 or even 30, I could be pretty darn skinny and get by with it. At 50ish, I won't be that lucky. You have seen older women who lose too much weight and rather than look good, they look unhealthy in a different way. Their body looks frail and wrinkly, skin hangs in the wrong places and they just don't look as good as they might have had they not lost so much weight. So I might lose 60 lbs and have curves but by losing slowly, working out and eating healthy, I might look just great.....OR....I might need to still lose another 10-20 lbs. I will play it by ear and see how it goes. I will never have the body of my 20's or 30's again, but I hope to have a healthier body than I have ever had when all is said and done and wearing a size 8 wouldn't suck either. 

So how am I going to do this? Well, I have been doing some research on diets. It is safe to say that over the last three and a half decades, there aren't many diets that I haven't been on. Most were fads and unhealthy, some were very expensive and not worth the time or the money, but the tried and true that I always seem to come back to is Weight Watchers. However, this time I am switching it up a bit. There is a new diet plan that a lot of women that I know are trying and having excellent results on. It is called Trim Healthy Mama or THM. I have a friend who by the way will be my guest blogger next week, (yeah....that's a thing now) who has had great success with THM and she looks fabulous at 50. I think you will love her story. So to make this all work for me, I am taking the journaling and weight loss tracker of Weight Watchers along with some of their basic tried and true principals and incorporating THM foods and recipes in the mix. For me, the two are a good match with my life....and that is what this journey is all about....things that work for me and with my life which will in turn make me successful in the long run. Remember, what works for me, might not work for you. It is all about doing the search and finding out what works with you and your lifestyle.

Of course, no lifestyle change is complete without working out, but regardless of what those prime time weight loss shows tell us (i.e. Biggest Loser and the such) most normal, un-medically supervised, personal trainer lacking mere mortals can not go from 80 lbs overweight to running a full marathon in a month. Especially now that I learned a really valuable lesson about overdoing and still being able to function (remember that unfortunate little twerking incident?) I now know I need to take it a bit slow and let my body be my guide. To start, I plan to give my body several days of water and diet change and then begin with walking. I will gradually add in weights and cardio so that my diet and my workout compliment each other. Somehow though, I think there maybe an inner athlete in me,  that has been crushed under apathy, low self esteem and a Big Mac. I hope in the next couple of months to find her, save her and let her be all that she can be!

Okay, so there are no quick fixes. There will be good days and not so good days. I am human and my human frailties and weaknesses will obviously rear their ugly heads from time to time, but this isn't a quick sprint to the finish line. This will be a process and along the way, through journaling, exercise and the occasional help from my arsenal of good friends and supporters, I hope not only to lose my unhealthy weight, but to also gain some really healthy insight on me, my life and just where I want to be in the next 52 weeks!

The Numbers:
Weight:  194.6
Height: 5'1"
Chest:  45"
Waist:  41"
Hips:  44"
Thighs:  24"
Calves:  16"
Upper Arms: 12.5"
Wrists:  6.5"

The bad news is...the numbers don't lie....nor do the pictures. Sigh! The good news is....this is the last day that I will look like this and the last time that these are my numbers! Yay me!

TMI or All About Me....Whether You Want to Know or Not!!!!!

To be completely honest....I am not all that interesting. I do however have issues that many others also have. I live a life filled with children, too much stress, loss, frustration, and my biggest demon.....being overweight. The latter itself is part of the source of my stress and frustration....and my stress and frustration feed into my issues with weight. It is a vicious cycle that I have tried for years to break and have had very little luck..just like thousands of other people in the world.
I call this blog TMI (Too Much Information), because it is going to be about my weight issues; what brought me here, what I am doing to change things, and hopefully....what I do to maintain things once the weight is gone. In the midst of the discussion/posts/blogs....there is probably going to be a lot of info posted about me that others simply might not want to know, but it maybe very important and pertinent to  my journey and destination. So for anyone who does not want to know me quite that well, I will not be offended if you choose now to check out. For the rest of you.....here we go.
Honesty time: I have had some sort of an eating disorder off and on since I was about 12 years old, I was about 5 lbs over weight and my dr. told my mother I was FAT! Probably by the standards of the day....I was. I don't remember there being any "fat" kids in my class or my neighborhood, so my chunky thighs and round face probably did constitute "fat" in the 1970's. (Looking back....I was a preteen girl whose baby fat was turning into curves and had I been left alone and never told I was fat....I probably never would have been.) Instead though...those words set me off on a life long pattern of bad eating habits and low self esteem that I have yet to recover from.
I believe the day we got home from the drs. office, I began binge eating. My self esteem went from normal to nothing in just one word...FAT! As a pediatrician he should have known better....but as a man.....well....you know what I am getting at. My mother didn't really help the situation either. We were a family who liked  our fast food, and when cooking, Mom never met a starch she didn't like. Up until the moment that the horrid three letter word was used....I had always been somewhat of a picky eater. Often times I would turn my nose up at sweets and fast food, but after being declared "that which must not be named".....ALL food became a source of comfort to me. I would raid the cabinets and if I couldn't find anything else to eat....I would eat crackers with barbecue sauce. It was as if my mind had decided that I was going to live up to the adjective and my body was along for the ride.
I did gain weight, but fortunately I was only 4'9" at the time and I still had another 5" to grow before I stopped, so the stretching to 5'2" over the next few years helped to keep the weight from going crazy....not that at times I didn't try to out eat the growth spurts. And the fact that I was put on steroids for my asthma didn't really help the whole situation, but I never got "fat." I never even got what you would call heavy....just a little chunky.
My weight though, and the word fat made me feel like the big fat pig in every room. I saw myself through a zoom lens which made my body in my minds eye, appear "much" larger than it really was. When I would hang with my girlfriends I would always mentally compare myself and never did I ever see their flaws....I was too fixated on what I felt were my own.
Finally, when I hit my senior year...something snapped. I just simply could not take feeling fat anymore, so around Thanksgiving....I just quit eating. I would nibble and pick....but I would leave much of my food untouched. By New Years....I had lost weight and people were noticing. My clothes no longer fit and I was feeling good about myself. Well....actually it was a false feeling of good because my weight loss was not real. I mean yes, I had lost weight, but the way I had done it was not healthy, nor was it lasting. I knew the moment that a whole cheeseburger or a piece of cake passed my lips, the weight would start coming back. The bad thing was....I was starving. You can only tell yourself you are not hungry for so long before your body takes over and says "YES YOU ARE!" 
People were noticing the "new" me and more over....boys were noticing the new me. I was suddenly getting attention that I had never had (or knew I had) and I liked it. AND somewhere along the line I made up my mind that I was willing to risk my health to keep it.
From that time on until I reached my early 30's, I went through a succession of not eating, taking boxes of laxatives, and taking diet pills that no MD would prescribe. I never did purge.....as throwing up for me...even to look good....was not an option. However, I did take boxes of laxatives, sometimes taking as many as 10 or 12 pills at a time. And the diet pills....oh my goodness. I would travel over state lines to go to a clinic that would hand them out like candy. I spent years yo-yo dieting. I was just like an alcoholic.....addicted to losing weight and I had many of the bad habits and attitudes that went along with the addiction.
Finally in my early 30's I got it figured out, that if you exercised....then you could actually eat more and be okay. Well, I had it figured out sort of. I still had the addictive attitudes and ideas and I was deathly afraid of gaining weight.....so I did what all good addicts do.....I binged. This time on exercise. I began working out 3+ times a day, but did not eat the amount of food necessary to maintain that kind of a workout schedule. I was skinny though.....too skinny.
It was at this time in my life that I met and married my husband. He was a fantastic cook and somewhere along the line convinced me that no matter how I looked.....he loved me and found me attractive. That and I got pregnant almost immediately. What I wasn't willing to do for myself....I was willing to do for my child.....I ate. Soon, eating once again became something I didn't fear and my body began to show it. I gained 70 lbs during my pregnancy and then afterwards only took about 40 lbs off. I wasn't happy, but food and I had once again developed a loving relationship with each other....and I was not ready to give that up.
I maintained my weight pretty well for about four years. Never losing that last 30 lbs....but never really gaining either....until I got pregnant with my last child. With him I gained 40+ lbs....which was sad as I only actually carried him 27 weeks. He was born 13 weeks premature. I immediately lost 20 lbs....but have yet to EVER lose the last 20 or the 30 before that. In fact....I have gained another almost 40+.
Now if I want to play the "poor me" card....there have been issues that have caused me to turn to food for comfort. My son lay between life and death in the NICU for the better part of 5 months, my husband died suddenly of a brain anuerysm, my mother developed lung cancer and after surgery, chemo and radiation she died of colon cancer (yes I said colon,....not lung), my then 15 year old son went off the rails and dove head first into alcohol, drugs and anything else that would make me crazy, and I just pulled into myself, grabbed a cheesecake.....and never looked back. And that my friends....is why I am here. Too much information???? Well....I have only tipped the ice berg here, but you do see how I got here.
In the last few years I have begun to worry about my own health, as we obviously have a history of cancer in the family  and I was working overtime to make sure I had high blood pressure and possible heart disease. It really did worry me.....but not enough to do anything about it.....until this summer. My blood pressure was increasingly climbing.....one time reading as high as 160/98. That particular reading was probably more due to anxiety, but I was getting average readings of around 140/95. I knew that if I kept going the way I was....I was going to end up on blood pressure meds to go with my reflux, and thyroid meds. I didn't want to have to go that route. My dr. then challenged me to start working out 30 min. a day for a month and then come back to see her. My first thought was...."yeah right! What is that going to do?" Worrying though that if I didn't make a change me kids might not only be down one parent.....but two.....I decided to give it a try. I started heading to my local gym and working out. The first day I was only able to do about 20 min. and thought I would die. I knew as I was leaving the gym that the chances of me returning the next day were.....slim to none. But the next day I surprised myself. And then the next and the next....and soon I had worked the 20 min. into 25 and then 30. I was feeling better, but I wasn't seeing the results I wanted.....so I brought on board a trainer once a week....who then upped my workout to 45 min.
On returning to the dr. after what turned into 6 weeks, my pulse which had been racing up into the 90's was down to 70 and my blood pressure was down to 118/80. I was in shock. And this was all fine and well....but the 30+ lbs I had hope to lose over the summer has only turned into 10. This  could be in no small part due to the fact that although I have made some positive changes....I am still dealing with tons of stress, have a very sedentary job, and I have really not changed my eating habits that much. But that is all about to change....or at least I hope it does. 
I have wanted to do this blog for awhile....but refused to start it unless I felt that I could actually carry through with it. Because of the changes I have already made....I do feel that I will continue, so that is what this is going to be about. I am going to bombard you with my journey, my failures, my success, and all the wisdom I gain along the way. Sometimes it maybe funny, and other times....anything but, and still other times I may get on here and sound like the worlds biggest whiner, but whatever the case....those of you who choose to.....are going to be along for the ride....so buckle up and get ready....because here it is.......too much information and all!!!!!