Reality

Reality. It is the other side of self doubt, denial and fear or conceit, shallowness and narcissism.

Reality is when we let go of delusion, ego and rose colored glasses.

Reality can be distorted by our minds, our desires and the words of others.

Reality is stationary and movable all in the same moment.

Reality can be harsh and hateful and reality can be beautiful.

Reality can be a prison keeping us chained to the negative or it can set you free.

Reality is not the mirror for the mirror cannot see inside.

Reality is dark and light, positive and negative, good and evil.....all wrapped into one.

Reality is your choice.

Each reality is different. Mine is not yours and yours is not mine and yet each of us has our own.

Don't like your reality? Change it!

On My Way to Being....A Trim Healthy Mama

Happy Girl.....errrr....I mean Celery Girl here! Yes, today I am happy. Why? Because I weighed and lost another 1.6 lbs. This means that I have lost a total of 5 lbs in 2 weeks. No I am not taking the weight off in big numbers, but I am taking it off and dare I say.....enjoying the process. I am also taking it off in the manner in which I set out to do it. I said 1-2 lbs per week and last week, I exceeded that. This week I am right on target.

I had told myself that I wouldn't bore you with the details of how this is all coming into play, BUT then I thought about it and said  to myself...."Self, you are never really boring," (yes, I am however a bit narcissistic), "and people are actually asking you how you are losing. So why not talk a little more about it." I can't argue with logic, so here is my blog about me! Well, actually about how I am losing weight and trying to change my life in the process. I know you will be fascinated....so quit rolling your eyes!

Okay,  last week you met Marni. She was my inspiration. She always has been in so many different ways, but now she has even trumped herself. She started talking to me about Trim Healthy Mama. The first time, I immediately tuned her out and started listening to Men Without Hats in my head. When she came up and brought her Good Girl Moonshine fix in's (GGMS for short), I went to my happy place and thought about Shemar Moore cleaning the grout in my bathroom while Brad Pitt loaded my dishwasher. Yeah, what can I say? At this point, I wanted my life to change, I just didn't want any guidance or motivation to make it change....cause that's how I roll!

Finally, two things (besides Marni) made me decide that now was the time to change. The first one was all the pictures that were taken of me while Marni was here visiting. In every picture I looked old, way too heavy and drunk. Sadly, the drunk look was much preferred to the "old" and "way too heavy." Instead of untagging myself in every picture and getting really pissed that the pictures even existed, I actually made myself look at them. In fact, I took it a step further and even started a VLOG where I had to look at myself and let the rest of the world look at me too. It was an eye opener and made me realize that those pictures were the last time I wanted to look like that.

The second thing that shoved me over the edge of change, was my health. I had just gone to several yearly preemptive doctor exams and been given a clean bill of health. I then asked myself if at 52, I could continue on lucking out on my health, with my unhealthy lifestyle of bad food choices and no exercise? The answer slapped the cheesecake right out of my hands and got my butt up off the couch. I haven't looked back since.

The problem with losing weight and getting healthy was the fact that in the last three or so decades, I have been on every diet known to man and while I spent many years being very thin, I was not healthy. I abused my body with unhealthy eating habits and dare I say......diet pills that kept me in a cycle of yo-yo dieting. After I had my kids and lost my husband and my mother, I simply gave up and let stress and life take over and I ate myself to my current "embarrassing picture stage." I knew that I didn't want to get on that ride again. That is when I shut Men Without Hats off and sent Shemar and Brad to clean someone else's house......and I started listening to Marni.

At first Marni told me the basics and then she sent me link after link of THM stuff. I knew right off the bat that this diet was going to be a little more difficult than counting points or calories, so I got the e book on line. I devoured every page in just a couple of days taking notes as I went. On completion I had a better idea of what I was dealing with and I really liked the explanations of how certain foods work together or against each other in our bodies. I also knew, that for a while, I would be doing this plan with a certain amount of trial and error. Luckily though, Marni is just a phone call or text away and I have joined several THM facebook pages where someone is always willing to answer my questions.

Now let me gush about one of my favorite subjects......FOOD!!!!! I have always loved eggs, beef, cheese and my all time favorite.....butta! Unfortunately, over the years.....we have been told that these things should be cut out of our diets or eaten in very small quantities. Because of this, I have turned my back on them and chosen more chemically based items such as low fat, diet and fat free items, thinking this was the key to weight loss success. Sadly, the weight remained. With THM, these foods are not only allowed, they are highly encouraged as you really can't lose weight and keep it off, without them. The only thing that this diet really says is a big NO NO is sugar and most sweeteners and also most breads, pasta's, etc. But they don't leave you hanging. They give you exchanges and different kinds of these items that you can eat and enjoy without all the unhealthy carbs that our regular favorites pump into our bodies. ***This though....is NOT a carb free diet.*** It is a lower carb diet but we need healthy carbs to fuel our bodies and THM provides these.  I have become a true fan of Ezekiel Sprouted Bread (something I would never have tried before this plan) and I am now a 100% convert to the Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) way of life.

Marni's GGMS looked and smelled like my socks do after I go for a five mile walk. I feared drinking that stuff might not make me lose weight, but it sure as heck might kill me. Meanwhile, Marni drank it like it was diet Mt. Dew, poured forth straight from the mountain of Dew. I cringed to think about it. However, I knew that the Diet Dew, as much as I adored it, was my bodies arch nemesis and that I had to give it up. Marni then sent me a GGMS recipe that included sparkling zero everything water, lime juice, ACV and stevia. The recipe stated that it tasted like Mt. Dew. Yeah right! Color me surprised. That darn thing not only tasted like my beloved Diet Dew....dare I say.....it was better! I am now almost two weeks clean from the Dew and I have never looked back. I LOVE my GGMS, and to know that it is both good for me and that it aids in my healthy lifestyle change, well.....BONUS!!!!

In the two weeks that I have been on the plan, I have not had a minute of hunger, I am learning to love old once forbidden foods, along with a whole list of new foods and because of GGMS....my body is never dehydrated. This plan has been a win/win for me.

Now the facts. THM is not the easiest plan you will ever be on, but if done right.....it will be the last plan you are ever on. You have to relearn what are truly good and nutritious foods and you have to get rid of a lot of the foods that we have been told over the years were better choices. You also have to learn to wrap your mind around the fact that you can eat eggs, butter, ground beef and cheese and still lose weight. It is kind of like teaching a dog....."old" new tricks.

Quite honestly, I could go on and on about THM, and since I have established that I am NOT at all boring, in the future, you will likely hear more about it. I will leave it here though....If you are looking for a life long lifestyle change and you want to not only look better, but feel better too, then please check out THM. As I said, it takes a bit of getting used to, but the end results are so worth the effort.

Until next time.....Celery Girl...out!

189.6=5lbs

The Metamorphosis of Marni

Celery Girl here!!! So since this blog is about change in all ways, I thought I would expand my perimeters a bit. Last week you got to hear all about what is going on with me and the start of my change, but I thought you might like to hear about others journey's of change. This week I invited a guest blogger to share her story of change and what it has done to and for her life.

This particular blogger is a high school classmate of mine and has been a dear friend for many years. To look at her and her life, you would never have thought she needed to change a thing, but that is on the outside looking in. On the inside she felt she needed change and she went after it.

The blogger I am referring to is my dear friend Marni Jones. She is housewife, mother, grandmother and friend extraordinaire. There is nothing this woman can't do if she puts her mind to it and quite frankly, her skills in the house, the kitchen and crafting make the rest of us look.....well....down right inferior. Everyone should have a friend like Marni....but you can't have her....'cause she's mine!

All kidding aside, the changes Marni has implemented and the transformation they have caused both inside and out, emotionally and physically are nothing short of amazing. I am so proud of her accomplishments and even prouder to call her friend. So without further ado....I give you The Metamorphosis of Marni.

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The Metamorphosis of Marni 

Change….to become different, or to make someone or something different. Now that is for sure a great word. Yes, it can be scary, but it can also be eye opening not only for yourself, but for those around you. I've never been much for change. In fact, it would totally freak me out when things changed. Maybe that’s from my childhood…..and never really knowing a true normal. A little bit of background on mmmwah. At the ripe old age of 18, I became a wife (to my high school sweetheart) and 3 months later I was well on my way to becoming the mom I dreamed of being. So life was on track for me. I had planned what I wanted and without changing my mind I got it, and let me say….I LOVED it! I was put on this earth to be exactly what I was.

Through the years I never once questioned my life’s decision and honestly, I was having a lot of fun. Now, there were bumps in the road for sure, but I was a happy wife and mom. As my kids grew I encouraged them to be whatever they wanted to be, and I was that wife that encouraged my husband to be the very best he could be, all the while happily basking in the glow of my family, who were quite frankly..... my world. I think like many mothers, I just got lost in family and was happy to stand back in the shade of their successes. I enjoyed watching what they could do and kind of lost myself, forgetting to take care of me. The years flew by and my kids were no longer kids. Just like every other mom out there that throws herself into family life, when the kids grow up its like “Ummm…… what do I do now?” Honestly I was lost. But then this wonderful thing happened. My daughter got pregnant and there I was, taking care of my grandson and a few years later my granddaughter. Again, there I was, doing what I knew best, taking care of others. I was set for a few more years…or so I thought.

One day for some reason I looked at myself and my life. Now mind you I was not unhappy, but I wasn’t totally happy, if that makes any sense. I know that lots won’t get that but I think I was just not totally happy with anything. People choose to make changes for various reasons and I wasn’t happy with ME. I had hit a point where I knew that I could be more than what I was; I just didn’t know what that was. Some of the things I could not control, so I decided to start with something that I could. I did a total lifestyle change and I dropped 60 pounds. Now to listen to my friends, I didn’t need to lose any (I am a tall girl so I hid it well, if I do say so myself) but I needed to FEEL better. So my journey began. Let me say that my life was not horrible before. It really was and still is wonderful, but now as all my family was doing their own thing it was time for me to do “my own thing” too. Trust me it was not easy because I was just so used to doing for others that it was hard to step out of that box and start to think about myself. After all, I had never really put myself first and here I was…. considering doing just that. So before I could over think the whole thing, I just closed my eyes and jumped.

So let me explain one thing about myself…. when I do something, I am ummmmm…… well people say that I become obsessive. I personally call it “dedication” but others do not see it that way. I went head strong into the new way of me! I started with changing my diet. It was just a simple change of eating better and eating less. My workout was the Wii (funny huh?) and walking. After a year of getting healthy I felt amazing! I KNOW during the course of all of this, that I drove people crazy by saying things like, “Oh, this is what I eat, it's so good for you,” or when out shopping with my daughter, I would pick things out that were really good for you and she would just say “Who are you and what did you do with my Mother?” To be blunt, I was a pain in the ass. It worked though, and I have never felt better and honestly, I think I look pretty good for a gal who just turned 50.

Through the process I have harangued my husband into this new “lifestyle” and he has made huge strides too. Our marriage has never been in a better place in EVERY aspect….if you know what I mean!!! (Wink wink) We have been told that we are more like newlyweds now than we were 30 years ago and I love that. We can't seem to walk by each other without hugging, kissing or playfully touching. It is amazing. There is so much energy in our lives and it shows. Here we are rolling into 32 years of marriage and we still enjoy each other’s company and sometimes I believe that I surprise him as I am so much stronger and I am even speaking up for myself.  I know by the look on his face that I both surprise him and make him proud!! This is what this change has brought about.

By choosing to take care of me and through this change, I believe that I have found my voice. I have always been that quiet girl in the corner. There were times that I did speak out, but most of the time…. yeah, NO! Since all of these changes, I seem to feel much more comfortable putting myself out there…more than I ever have before. Nothing scares me anymore. Not speaking up and speaking out is the cross that many who are the do for others, people pleaser types have to bear and with me because I was always that “Yes” friend, it was bad. Whatever someone else wanted to do, I was good with that….whether I really was or not. That was a learned thing from childhood that carried with me into adulthood. People got used to that, so when I started speaking up, I know that a few people were not happy. I just hope that along this process they can see that as I am changing and with the change, I am becoming a better friend to them.

So, as change goes, I do believe that I have made huge strides in the right direction to better myself, my family, my relationships and just my whole life. I KNOW there are some out there that think that you need to change the “inside” first to make this work. For me, it was a process of both. I began changing the “outside” which in turn made me strong enough to be able to change the inside. Each of us is different and our processes are different.  We all do the best that we can through the life we are given and that is what I did. I was the best person that I could be at the time and then life changes and we can choose to change with it or stay in the same place.  I think sometimes we just need to find that one aspect that is holding us back, maybe that one thing that scares us, in order to take that one step in the other direction that will make a huge change and put us on the path to who we are truly meant to be.  I am  still the SAME person I have been,  I just believe that now I am a  BETTER version of that person and I am proud to share me with the world!!!!!  So look out world… here I come!!!!!!!!!!

191.2=3.4

Today's The Day

Celery Girl here......and what a week it has been! Okay, compared to some of the weeks I tend to have, this one has been a walk in the park, but still...... So today is the day. You will have to bare with me here, because today.....I am baring it all! Get your mind out of the gutter!

The awesome news has been that I have had some really good feedback on the VLOG...From Here to Healthy at 50 and Beyond. The bad news is....technology hates me! So far I have only been able to put out two vlogs in my thirty day vlog because I can't get my video camera and youtube to play nice together. Someone suggested it might be user error. That person is now dead to me. I am hoping that my college son will be able to take a few minutes away from his college life and help his poor technologically challenged mother beat the camera and youtube into submission. Hopefully this will happen today. Until then though....you are stuck with my words of wisdom here on the blog...with a B!

Well....it has started! The diet and lifestyle change are in the works and this time.....I am raising the bar by calling in reinforcements and eventually putting it on the vlog so that the world will know my shame if I don't stick with it. I am also lowering goal expectations. I have.....are you ready for this....60-80 lbs to lose! Yeah, I know. It sucked for me to see those numbers on the scales too, but the fact is...I worked hard for those numbers by doing nothing and eating all the wrong things. The reality is.....it is not going to come off in a month! I have no expectation of 5 lb weekly losses. I am setting my weekly loss goal at 1-2 lbs. Yes, this means slow going but it also means definite steady results that will keep my body healthy and help me to dust the cobwebs off my metabolism.

When you lose weight too quickly so many things happen to your body that you don't even realize. First of all, in order to lose weight quickly, you are immediately setting yourself up to gain it all back (and more) just as quickly. You are not training your body or your mind to eat properly, you are merely depriving your body of proper nourishment for a quick and temporary fix. Instead of band aiding the problem, I plan on making this a permanent fix this time. I don't want to lose 60 lbs in six months, be hungry all the time, watch my skin and hair take a beating for lack of nourishment and then a year from now be back in the same spot I am in today. My end game, is not only to weigh less, it is also to be healthy body, mind and spirit and to not have to fight this battle again. I want this change to be a permanent one that will take me through the next 50 years. Yes, as a matter of fact I do plan to be around until I am 100! And yes, this should scare any number of people!

Okay, why did I say 60-80 lbs? That is a 20 lb discrepancy. That is at least a size and a half difference. Yes, but I am not 20 anymore. By the way.....it is okay for me to say that. Not anyone else. At 20 or even 30, I could be pretty darn skinny and get by with it. At 50ish, I won't be that lucky. You have seen older women who lose too much weight and rather than look good, they look unhealthy in a different way. Their body looks frail and wrinkly, skin hangs in the wrong places and they just don't look as good as they might have had they not lost so much weight. So I might lose 60 lbs and have curves but by losing slowly, working out and eating healthy, I might look just great.....OR....I might need to still lose another 10-20 lbs. I will play it by ear and see how it goes. I will never have the body of my 20's or 30's again, but I hope to have a healthier body than I have ever had when all is said and done and wearing a size 8 wouldn't suck either. 

So how am I going to do this? Well, I have been doing some research on diets. It is safe to say that over the last three and a half decades, there aren't many diets that I haven't been on. Most were fads and unhealthy, some were very expensive and not worth the time or the money, but the tried and true that I always seem to come back to is Weight Watchers. However, this time I am switching it up a bit. There is a new diet plan that a lot of women that I know are trying and having excellent results on. It is called Trim Healthy Mama or THM. I have a friend who by the way will be my guest blogger next week, (yeah....that's a thing now) who has had great success with THM and she looks fabulous at 50. I think you will love her story. So to make this all work for me, I am taking the journaling and weight loss tracker of Weight Watchers along with some of their basic tried and true principals and incorporating THM foods and recipes in the mix. For me, the two are a good match with my life....and that is what this journey is all about....things that work for me and with my life which will in turn make me successful in the long run. Remember, what works for me, might not work for you. It is all about doing the search and finding out what works with you and your lifestyle.

Of course, no lifestyle change is complete without working out, but regardless of what those prime time weight loss shows tell us (i.e. Biggest Loser and the such) most normal, un-medically supervised, personal trainer lacking mere mortals can not go from 80 lbs overweight to running a full marathon in a month. Especially now that I learned a really valuable lesson about overdoing and still being able to function (remember that unfortunate little twerking incident?) I now know I need to take it a bit slow and let my body be my guide. To start, I plan to give my body several days of water and diet change and then begin with walking. I will gradually add in weights and cardio so that my diet and my workout compliment each other. Somehow though, I think there maybe an inner athlete in me,  that has been crushed under apathy, low self esteem and a Big Mac. I hope in the next couple of months to find her, save her and let her be all that she can be!

Okay, so there are no quick fixes. There will be good days and not so good days. I am human and my human frailties and weaknesses will obviously rear their ugly heads from time to time, but this isn't a quick sprint to the finish line. This will be a process and along the way, through journaling, exercise and the occasional help from my arsenal of good friends and supporters, I hope not only to lose my unhealthy weight, but to also gain some really healthy insight on me, my life and just where I want to be in the next 52 weeks!

The Numbers:
Weight:  194.6
Height: 5'1"
Chest:  45"
Waist:  41"
Hips:  44"
Thighs:  24"
Calves:  16"
Upper Arms: 12.5"
Wrists:  6.5"

The bad news is...the numbers don't lie....nor do the pictures. Sigh! The good news is....this is the last day that I will look like this and the last time that these are my numbers! Yay me!